Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Aging Is A Maintenance Problem
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We go from brutal jokes to real talk about getting older, losing weight, and why the body starts acting like a neglected car. Jay’s anxiety about checkups turns into a bigger conversation about lifestyle change, preventive care, and what “taking care of yourself” actually looks like.
• seed oil free eating and why Tony calls it a lifestyle
• noticeable weight loss and the awkward reality of clothes not fitting
• aging as wear and tear and why maintenance beats repair
• the car analogy for health, habits, and long-term outcomes
• health anxiety after tests and the fear of what doctors might find
• prostate exams, men’s health screening, and why we avoid checkups
• meaning, belief, and the weird comfort of thinking we’re “engineered”
• taking care of your brain through community, music, and getting out
Tell your friends, it’s on Tuesdays. They’ll download it on any device. We even figured out a way for you to download it without an internet connection. So you can hit us up for that. We’ll show you how it’s kind of complex.
Cold Open And Crude Banter
unknownThey still got the sticker on it.
SPEAKER_02Top shelf stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony.
SPEAKER_03Gentlemen, how you doing?
SPEAKER_02Good. Just getting settled in. Look, how you doing, Jay?
SPEAKER_03Good. I can see your balls, Chris. Oh, Loney. When I said that, you you tucked in your shorts. Of course I did.
SPEAKER_02I don't want you seeing my balls.
SPEAKER_03What's wrong with them?
SPEAKER_02I don't think you want to sit across the room from some man exposing his balls.
SPEAKER_03But if a doctor had to see it to check it, would he be okay with it or would you be worried?
SPEAKER_02It'd be fine.
SPEAKER_03Okay, good.
Seed Oil Free Lifestyle Debate
SPEAKER_03So this this podcast I wanted to talk about. Um beginning a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Hold on to circle back. What do you mean if the doctor wanted to see it? Uh you don't have him out when he walks in the room?
SPEAKER_03So wait, you walk in the checkup room with your pants down?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, when they're taking my weight. When the nurse is in the back. You know what adding more weight? When the nurse is in taking my weight and my temperature and blood pressure. So Tony's- I always drop them out.
SPEAKER_03Tony's on a great diet and it's fucking working because every time it comes out. It's not a diet. It is a diet, lifestyle, he says.
SPEAKER_01It has to be a lifestyle before it's a diet. Is when you're counting calories, if you're using an app to track what you've eaten for today.
SPEAKER_03Check it. If it's a diet, it lasts for a certain amount of time. But a lifestyle has to last at least a year or more. How long have you been doing this diet for?
SPEAKER_02I was gonna bring Wingstop and you couldn't eat them because why? Because I'm off seed oil. Why are you off food seed oils for because of your Because I'm done poisoning? Because of your running physique? No. Done poisoning myself. Diet you would consume it.
SPEAKER_01Well, diet is a general term for the things you eat. Let me ask this real quick.
SPEAKER_03Do you think you'll ever go back to what you've been eating before?
SPEAKER_01I don't. I don't, if you asked me right now, God honest truth, absolutely not. Never. But if you did, would you be I'd go balls deep in fried chicken. Okay. That's all I would eat.
SPEAKER_03Right there shows me.
SPEAKER_02You can't find a healthy alternative to fried chicken, like beef towel, cauliflower, crust, chicken.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I'm sure it exists, but I'm too lazy to figure it out. I mean, I miss it, but I don't miss it that much.
SPEAKER_03But I tell you right now, Tony looks amazing. Like if you guys watch this show where I don't put videos up, you would see the difference from the first video until yes, you're not only glowing. Like you could see like 50 more percent of the background behind his head because he shrank.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I had I had to close the camera in so I look the same. Yeah, it's weird. Every time I come in here, it's so fucking weird.
SPEAKER_03And we took it like a month off, and I came back in here.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, what the f Jesus, is this Tony? Dude, my my clothes, all my clothes right now look like Ja Rule did in 1997.
SPEAKER_03So when you put on pants, do you have to how many more like um holes do you do you I had to go get different belts.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really?
SPEAKER_03Because I couldn't afford to get more pants. No, but are you seriously about the belts?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Wow. Wow. So four months ago, my my normal size pants that I wear were 40 waist, 34 length. I lot I want to know now what it is. Uh 34. Fucking Christ, you're close to me, dude. So now now 34s are I'm in actuality, I'm probably a 35. I don't think they go. They don't have that size. So 36s literally fall directly off me, and 34s fit on me the way pants were meant to be fit, which I don't really like.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's a good thing, Tony. I I I applaud your diet or lifestyle, whatever you call it.
SPEAKER_01Not a diet. Not a diet. Whatever you fucking call it. Yeah, not being a piece of shit anymore.
SPEAKER_02Eating pieces of shit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm not eating shit. I'm not letting the food companies poison me anymore. That's all I'm doing.
Getting Older And Body Breakdowns
SPEAKER_03I I get it, I get it. And uh what I want to talk to you about is is basically health and getting older and like shit just starting to break down like a car would.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. My belts are bad.
SPEAKER_03Your belts are bad. How are they bad?
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, like the belts are the things that start to kind of go, or you're not getting as much power out of the pedal anymore. You're AC scilling.
SPEAKER_03I thought you were talking about your actual belt on your belt.
SPEAKER_02Just like in life, like the analogy of a car, my belts are good and pulleys and such. My dad always thought interiors all fucked up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, that's the first thing you get fucked up. Because you sit on your fucking, you know, you have sex on the car, you're rubbing on that shit. Like the couch we used to have, Tony had sex in that thing like 40 times. That's why it's all fucked.
SPEAKER_01Easily.
SPEAKER_03So my dad always gave this analogy to me. And I I I mean, do you guys believe in God? Absolutely. Is there a God? Do you believe in God? Like, straight out, is there a God? Tony does. Chris. I can't go there yet. Okay, doesn't he doesn't want to answer?
SPEAKER_01I also believe in Bigfoot, so I don't know if that's just ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03I know. But anyway, my opinion.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if my opinion really matters. Yeah, my opinion doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_03What my dad told me was probably the most interesting thing I've ever heard, and
God As The Car Engineer
SPEAKER_03something that I never really looked at because I uh we've talked in this podcast before. I'm a Jehovah's Witness, and I got fucking tainted since the day I was born.
SPEAKER_01I thought that was the Catholics that usually got their taints played with.
SPEAKER_03That was a good one. That was a good one. That was a good one, Tony, but and didn't deserve a laugh. But my dad told me this that it made a lot of sense, and I I I I always look back to it when I don't when I think there isn't a God. Like I don't I I from when I you know when I was younger, I still don't believe there's a God. But he's like, if there's not a God, then how are you engineered and controlled like a vehicle? If you don't change your oil, engine breaks down. Saying if you don't eat good, you don't exercise, you don't you just sit around, you you die slowly. If you don't change your tires.
SPEAKER_01Uh meaning if you're rubbers. You don't want to use the same ones for too long because then you end up with children.
SPEAKER_03You can't drive on the roads long. Like saying if you don't wear shoes or wear something that protects your body, your body will start to break down more because you don't have something, you know, controlling yourself from the floor to the you know, whatever you're doing. So basically he's like, you are engineered by something higher powered. And I was like, that's that's stupid, but it makes weird sense. So I was like, uh, yeah, so then that made me think, and this is probably like 20 years ago when I thought this. I think that started my anxiety problem. Because I was like, now I have I have I think I have this, I think I have that. I just got an EGD like two years ago. They look down your throat and make sure because I was getting it.
SPEAKER_01It was it was literally six weeks ago.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it wasn't that long ago. That was was it six weeks ago? Yes, it was fuck probably a little longer. It's six, it feels like two years ago.
SPEAKER_01It was four times ago the last time we met. The only reason you guys know is because the pictures. Yeah.
unknownOh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, you canceled on the podcast because you had the ETD that date. You used it as an excuse, which you do often. So you are you thinking I got pictures off the internet? I'm like, damn, this is like his ninth throat scope this week.
SPEAKER_02I'm starting to think he's lying or likes it too much.
SPEAKER_03Dude, I do like the fucking medicine they give you. You guys like count down from 10. I always tried to stay awake to 10, but never and I get to like three or four.
Annual Physical And Prostate Exam Fears
SPEAKER_03But it feels good because you wake up and you know you're okay. And uh the doctor just called today, and they're like, you know what, you need to do your um your your yearly whatever, annual physical. And I looked up my age, and uh the physical for my age is finger up the butt. Remember the last time we talked about this? Yeah, where I was worried about not getting or getting the finger up the butt and I didn't get it. Now I think I'm getting it. Yeah, and it's this Friday. I'm fucking terrified about the because I don't w like I Well, yeah, you don't want it, but like what do you think is gonna happen?
SPEAKER_01Have your wife do a trial wrong.
SPEAKER_02Have your wife try it with her tongue first, soften it up.
SPEAKER_03But I asked you guys this question, okay? What does it really check? I mean, his fingers only like he checks your prostate.
SPEAKER_01He's Chinese, he's got like a you know the most three-inch finger. Painful version of cancer. Yeah, he checks your prostate. Yeah, he fighting. How can you not check it through some other way? You probably have a well they could they could stick a gigantic stick in your ass. But how do they need-I rather have the finger?
SPEAKER_03How do they know your prostate's okay by you sticking a finger up in it?
SPEAKER_02So many prostates you can probably smell if it's good or not.
SPEAKER_03That's terrible.
SPEAKER_02That's the doctor just knows. I don't want to know how they know. Okay, wait. Now you think it's a colluded thing.
SPEAKER_01Why do they look in your ears? I got a question for you. Okay. Do you think they look in your ears and they're like, well, I don't know what I'm looking for?
SPEAKER_03But did they're not looking for like the you can see, I mean, the ear canal is only so deep. Your asshole goes, you know, all the way to your fucking mouth.
SPEAKER_02You can get a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking your head up a butcher's ass.
SPEAKER_03Oh, wait, who's fucking it up right here?
SPEAKER_01I am, I fucked it up. By sticking your head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it. Would you rather take the butcher's word?
SPEAKER_02But the question is He's the butcher. Just let him stick your finger up your ass.
SPEAKER_01The question I had was Did you know a lot of people do this voluntarily? I mean, what do you mean by the way? Like this is a Saturday night for mo for uh multiple people. You're talking about gay people?
SPEAKER_02Or straight women who like it up their butt too.
SPEAKER_03So, do you think a gay guy can feel your prostate through his dick and be like, oh my god, your prostate feels wrong?
SPEAKER_02That's a question for the gay crew. I don't think they too.
SPEAKER_01So you're gonna go down the lakage and be like, hey, can you butt fuck me real quick and see if you asking for?
SPEAKER_02Like, I don't understand. I just feel like a dick. Sorry, Doc, I gotta cancel my appointment. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01You're trying to find a gay that would be into you by Friday? I feel like a dick will go farther than a finger. Yeah, you're like, check it deep.
SPEAKER_03But I'm what I'm asking is okay, would what I want to do. I'd rather take the agent's little finger over.
SPEAKER_02I'd rather take the doctor's word for it.
SPEAKER_03The thing I was gonna say is I have hemorrhoids. How do you get past the hemorrhoids? Dude, he'll win more past lube.
SPEAKER_01It's gonna hurt. How do you get shit out? Does your shit stop at your hemorrhoids?
SPEAKER_03No, they just get inflamed, they get inflamed, and then just like you don't know what you're if you're wiping your ass or is it wiping the.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I can just see it. Hey, Jason, how you do today? Okay, we're gonna see how that big burning thing on your butthole do. I go stick my finger up there. I'm just worried about the finger. Is that how he sounds like or is that bad? I did that for you and you didn't even seem to care.
SPEAKER_03No, I liked it. I liked it. I I I appreciated it, and I was waiting for like a little bit more of a story.
SPEAKER_02If you ever release any video, you could show how I was synting my eyes back to the pissed Tony off. No.
SPEAKER_01So do you think this guy's gonna have to use two fingers, one to hold the hemorrhoid up and the other to go slamp back? I think you think he's gonna give you the shocker?
SPEAKER_02All right, I do actually have another legitimate question.
SPEAKER_01One holding up the pink and one in the stink.
SPEAKER_02I haven't had this procedure done, so I don't know what it's like, and I don't know how I'd feel about it. But I want to know, are you planning on looking to make sure it's his finger? Or what are you gonna do? You can't look. You can't look back. I'm pretty sure they tell you to look at the wall. Set up because he doesn't want you to make eye contact. That's why he's doing it.
SPEAKER_03What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna look for a mirror in the back. There's no mirrors in there. Is there? You have to look back, dude.
SPEAKER_02I can't look back, Mike. Jay's up there with a spoon hanging it out, like trying to see.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna Are you gonna hold your cell phone over your shoulder and record them? Uh just so you know this procedure is being recorded for quality and assurance purposes.
SPEAKER_03Listen to the last episode of uh but no, I'm worried about this because I just I can't help it.
SPEAKER_01I just don't understand.
SPEAKER_03No, you always do that, and then it makes me like stop because I want to hear what you have to say. What I'm worried about is I looked it up, and at like my age, that's when you actually do the finger up the butt. Yeah. And uh I'm just thinking, how like like after when they go up there, how do they know that something's wrong? Like, what the f one finger, look how long that is.
SPEAKER_01Okay, yeah, you can just put a prostate's right inside and they feel it, and I'm looking at your finger right now. It looks fucking short and fat. I've swear to God. Well, what about that?
SPEAKER_02Oh gotta bring in the bigger doctor. He's got longer fingers, we'll be right back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's the one time you don't want a guy who, when he retired from the NBA, that's what I'm saying, got his fucking doctor degree. Do you know what you mean? And he's shoving an 11-inch finger up your fucking ass. You can do a couple things.
SPEAKER_03I think I'd have a better prostate exam with a giant finger up my ass. You can do a couple things here.
SPEAKER_02What am I gonna do? You can call the doctor and say, hey, I'm coming on Friday. Are they gonna be fucking me in my butt with their finger? Or what are we going through? You started with coming and then you lost me at fucking.
SPEAKER_01Oh, is that what you're worried about? That you're gonna come? The other thing you can do you can come all over this fucking white paper over this bench.
SPEAKER_03I'm terrified it's Friday. No, but but like I said before, like when I when we talked about this, and I had another uh uh yearly annually annually, anally I don't do it every year.
SPEAKER_01You just keep saying annually.
SPEAKER_03Shut up!
SPEAKER_01Am I my last annually exam? Am I really? Yeah, fuck.
SPEAKER_03Uh annually checkup. I uh I'm always worried about that, and like I know this is gonna happen now because I looked it up on you know it's really not. I don't know who how could that makes it worse. I'm gonna tell him that.
SPEAKER_02My name's Jay.
unknownJay.
SPEAKER_03I'm thinking I stick my finger up my butt. Like, what do I ask?
SPEAKER_02How do I ask it? What are they going to do to me? I read on the internet my that my doctor might stick his finger up my butt. Is that happening? And then they'll say, ha ha ha. No, you're not having the Zaba Zaba exam today.
SPEAKER_03Chris, there's no way I'm doing that. Because guess what? She'd be like, wait a second. Hey doc! Yeah. What if when the doctor? Jane's coming in Friday, you're sticking your finger up his ass or not.
SPEAKER_01It's all on the computer. What if when the doctor gets to his third knuckle? When he gets when he gets all the way where he's gotta bend the other fingers back to finish. Oh my god. What if when he gets up there, he just wiggles his elbow to get it deeper. He just wiggles the tip of his finger and goes, tickle tickle. I'm gonna fucking kill you both of you. Why? I'm not the one sticking my finger.
SPEAKER_02The only thing I want, the only thing I fear about that whole procedure is the doc going in there, and then I hear him go, hmm. I've never seen this before. Or this is no good. All right, I'm not drinking when you guys are talking. Uh-oh. I don't want to oops. Oops. Oopsie. Oops. Wait, the rubber bro. What if I shoot on his hand? I don't know how I'm gonna get that out of there. Yeah. No, you better. I knew I should have worn this goddamn pinky ring. That's what you could say. Just it's what if I shoot on his hand? Yeah, be real quiet about it and be like, hey, is this kind of like when I made that porn do I got pooped first?
SPEAKER_03But the problem is now I'm I'm like like uh I'm I'm kind of nervous and I like can't poop. Why?
SPEAKER_01He's the one who's gonna have corn stuck to his finger.
SPEAKER_03God damn, that's disgusting. Imagine the hair on the fucking back side of this thing over here. I just feel bad that he has to go up there and he gets shit all over his hand. And what are you thinking, Tony? Tony thinking of something. I know, I know he's not laughing at something I'm gonna do.
SPEAKER_01Where he's gonna have to have the nurse come in and shave the area first. I can't deal with all this hair. You know he's Asian, so you know he's hairless. Oh my god. One blade dry bick all around the hemorrhoid. Now I gotta shave. Do I? Don't I? You should. You should probably wax.
SPEAKER_03Get out of here.
SPEAKER_01Ten minutes before you go in, so there's no stubble.
SPEAKER_02Literally ripping it off in the car like he's throwing a cigarette butt out on the way in. Ripping twist, but sheets onto the ground.
SPEAKER_03My whole thing is my whole thing is if you don't take care of your body like Tony's doing right now, things like this are gonna happen a lot more often than you don't want them to. I'm afraid about that.
SPEAKER_02Why though? Kind of. Like I in a sense, I am too, but also like you just be driving home today and some fucking tragic thing could happen, and your car could go off the highway and you could die.
SPEAKER_03That's true, but you know, it's it's it's like uh when you buy a lottery ticket for the the $500 billion fucking winner. You know you're not gonna win, but you buy it anyway. No, I don't. Okay, fine. I do. But I do, and you know you're not gonna win, but you buy it anyway because you have that subtle because you're just throwing your dollars on the ground anyway, but you still have that chance, just like you would have that chance to die tomorrow. Yeah. I don't know, eagle.
SPEAKER_01What if there's a positive that comes out of this? What positives coming out of this? What if this finger in your butt makes you realize that you're gay too? Stop it.
SPEAKER_03Stop it. I knew you were gonna do that. I knew you're gonna do that. I knew you're gonna do that. I like this isn't gonna do that. I like boobs too much. If a guy has tits and maybe I finally do like dick, well, I'm sure he's gonna take the medical sharpie and draw him on your back before he shoves his finger up there.
SPEAKER_01But uh, you know what I mean. Do you have a fear that when is when he gets to the second knuckle, like you're immediately gonna get the hardest you've ever got in your life? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03My fear is like what is the fear? The fear is the pain. What pain? I never had anything up there before. Your poops come out way wider than a finger you've taken. Christopher, everything comes out, nothing goes in. I never had the in feeling. I think I have out feelings. I have out feelings, I don't have in feelings. I never had an in feeling, I'm gonna get the in feeling. I don't want that in feeling.
SPEAKER_02He's gonna smack you on the back of your head, tell you to take a deep breath. I think over before you know it.
SPEAKER_03I have nerves that just go in. Like if you touch it inward, I'm gonna fucking cry. But when my nerves don't go outward, like I don't know. You don't even know.
SPEAKER_02Like Tony said, maybe you're gonna.
SPEAKER_01Because they never shoved the figure up my butthole. Maybe you're gonna get done and be like, this was a fucking awesome date. I'm gonna go get some ice cream. Yeah. And then ask my doctor to follow me, come with me. Like a date. Double date, yeah. I don't know. Wait, doc, you didn't check good enough. I really need to check a little further. The top of my prostate was actually what I'm more worried about. You just checked the bottom.
SPEAKER_03Okay, guys, do you understand what a prostate is? Do you understand where it is? Yeah, and what it is. It's about a half a finger into your buttons.
SPEAKER_01Get the fuck out of here. Fucking you are lying the whole time. No, man. My grandpa died of prostate cancer. Okay, but did you know they never got the finger up the butt? My grandfather? You probably didn't. I don't know. I don't know what him and my grandma were into. He went to the doctor.
SPEAKER_03He's like, fuck you ain't touch your finger up my butt.
SPEAKER_01Well, my grandpa was what you would consider now an ex like extinct in this generation. He was what you would call a hard man. So basically, if he went to the doctor, if he ever did go to the doctor, I don't know that he's been to the doctor until the day he died. Okay. If he ever did go to the doctor, he would never let that happen. Probably I don't know. I don't know. You know, that's the thing. You never know about people. You could be telling us this line of shit, but you could be doing you could be doing weird shit that we don't know about. And you're like, maybe I'll make a really big deal out of this so nobody knows that I walk around with fucking anal beads in or whatever. I don't know what you're into. I'm not in your house. I don't know. People are into all kinds of weird shit.
SPEAKER_03People are into weird shit. And I was watching uh um I think on YouTube, uh Guy Pierce. Uh, what the fuck is his name? Whatever his name is, he's uh he interviews people, and he was interviewing a gay guy, and the gay guy is talking about a guy having a G spot. And the guy that was interviewing him, I forget his name, he's an English dude. He was on one of those, you know To catch a predator? No, was it Chris Hansen? Give me that, I'll do it for you.
SPEAKER_01And uh he said guys have G spots guys have G spots. Chris, there's literally 1100 bottle openers right next to you. Yeah, there are. Guys have G spots. What do you think about that? I don't know, one day I might find one. Right now, never mind. No, finish it. Now you have to you gay fuck. I was gonna say mine's deep in the back of my girl's mouth.
SPEAKER_03Why is that bad?
SPEAKER_01Oh. But uh I I think I think you're being really paranoid over something really silly. Especially that what probably won't even happen. They'll probably tell you if it's it'll probably happen several times. He'll probably have to call somebody else in the room and be like, hey, I need a second opinion. Get the fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_03Now you're making me trying to feel worse. So the thing the whole fucking thing, the story I want to talk about is is it's we are like we're engineered.
SPEAKER_01We are like if you don't check the oil, if you don't technically, I think technically that is
“Check Your Oil” Meets Real Life
SPEAKER_01the homosexual term for that.
SPEAKER_02This is the worst podcast we've ever done.
SPEAKER_01Well, I don't know. That that's just what I've I've heard that term somewhere. So if if they're talking ask ask Siri, say what does it mean when a guy tells another guy he's gonna check his oil?
SPEAKER_03That's a good actually. Hey Siri. Oh my god. I'm going to show you. What does it mean when another guy asks another guy to check his oil? Siri won't tell you that shit.
SPEAKER_02Definitely. Oh god. Why do you ask Siri then?
SPEAKER_00It's usually a crude joke or a new endo. In slang, check his oil can refer to a gesture or act that mimics an invasive check, often used in sports like wrestling to throw someone off balance, or as a sexual joke implying anal contact.
SPEAKER_03Okay, well, that wasn't as funny as it should be. I think I've heard that on a movie or something. Well, I'm just saying that if you don't take care of your vehicle, your body, it breaks down faster. Like I don't I change my oil every 10,000 miles, and I think like my car's gonna die soon. And I only get 130,000 miles. How can that car last that long without changing oil? And everyone yells at me for that, but I feel like you shouldn't have to do it every 3,000 miles, like everyone says. Yeah, okay, right? Yeah, definitely. So if I okay, so I'm thinking this way, and if my car goes to 300,000 miles, who's wrong there? You or me?
SPEAKER_02We'll find out at the mile 2,999, Jay.
SPEAKER_03But I'm seriously, like I've every car I've ever had, I've only changed it 10 to 20,000 miles. Oil.
SPEAKER_01It goes up every time he says a number. I don't change my oil every 5,000 miles because I mean every 10 to 15,000 miles is when I change it. So at 20,000 miles, and it's time for me to change it. Yeah, I don't know, man. I you j you just you're being a bitch. I don't know why. I don't know what's been done to you. Whatever the doc's gotta do, the doc's gotta do. Can I ask this question to you? Just fucking let him go three knuckles deep. Can I ask ask him to hold up his hand and pick which finger? You can pick it based on length or girth.
unknownGet the fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_03Can I ask this question
Cosmos, Concerts, And Staying Sane
SPEAKER_03to you guys though? Yeah. When my dad talked about an engine in the car and humans being made by, you know, basically the same version of does that make sense to you, or is that just kind of like I mean it's a great way to analogize it, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_02What about the whole universe too? Every other object in the world? Well, every planet rotates at a certain way to keep every planet alive. Said some fucking human who said that that's what it looks like out there. True. You ever been the fuck out there?
SPEAKER_03No. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02But I I agree with you. I don't know what that shit looks like out there.
SPEAKER_03If one inch of the world's access changed, access? Access? Changed. I don't believe that. It would change it would it would completely change the whole flat earth would change the directory of everything in life. So how does this all like how is this all like it's all just there?
SPEAKER_02How does this work?
SPEAKER_03How does it work, Chris?
SPEAKER_02No one knows how it works. How's it work, Chris? All I know is that people should be the smart one here. People should be going to more music concerts. That's all I can tell you. That's how I take care of myself. Get out and get around some people.
SPEAKER_03But that's only taking care of your brain. That's not taking care of your body.
SPEAKER_02I'm grounded into the ground, I'm stretching, dancing, jamming.
SPEAKER_03I'll tell you right now, your brain, your brain doesn't keep your body alive. Your body keeps your brain alive.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Right? I somehow my heart's ticking. I think my brain's doing it.
SPEAKER_03No, your body doesn't. Your brain functions. Your body You do gotta take
Sponsor Plug And Closing Notes
SPEAKER_03care of yourself.
SPEAKER_02That's why I drink Nuclaris. Nuclearis Brewing is a new Top Shelf Stories podcast sponsor. Only available in Wisconsin. You can't get it anywhere else unless you're on Fishlock because people bring them there. That's actually pretty good. This is a Tailwagger Amber. It's new. Um get yourself some of that.
SPEAKER_03Is it a dark, dark beer? I believe it's an amber. And it comes in a dark bottle, which brown bottles keep your beer better. There you go, Chris. You don't want light-colored beers. The bottle, I mean, sorry.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, keep taking care of yourself, Jay. Get your butthole checked every 40 miles or whatever, Jay said. And uh keep listening to Top Shelf Stories Podcast. Tell your friends, it's on Tuesdays. They'll download it on any device. We even figured out a way for you to uh download it without an internet connection. So you can hit us up for that. We'll show you how it's kind of complex. Thanks for tuning in.
