Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
When Your Spine Squeezes Like A Jelly Donut
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We talk through Tony’s yearly herniated disc flare-ups, why the pain can feel impossible to describe, and how the usual medical options kept circling back to “inflammation.” Tony then shares the anti-inflammatory food plan he followed for five weeks and the surprising changes he noticed in pain, cravings, heartburn, and weight.
• what a neck herniated disc flare feels like and how it radiates into the arm and fingers
• chiropractor relief versus “fixing” the underlying problem
• the surgery pitch, the long-term success concerns, and why Tony walks away
• why pills and nerve blockers feel like the default answer and how addiction risk factors into the choice
• the anti-inflammatory diet experiment, the exact foods on the list, and what gets cut
• how processed food and vague ingredients like “natural flavors” shape what we crave
• real-life logistics of eating this way at events and around family meals
• what changes after a few weeks, including stiffness, joint pain, heartburn, and weight loss
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Welcome Back And The Annual Flare-Up
SPEAKER_02Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony.
SPEAKER_01And here we are again. Top shelf stories. Jay, Chris, and with us always, Tony. Little lighter. Little lighter on his feet.
When Neck Pain Comes From Nowhere
SPEAKER_00So today I think I'm going to talk about some nonsense that happens in my life every single year for the last six years. I have something that doctor medical doctors would refer to only as a herniated disc. It's in my neck. It's always there. It always lets me know that I'm over 40.
SPEAKER_02Did you dive into a five-gallon pail like the kid that they show not to dive into and ruin you?
SPEAKER_00No, I actually never done that. But I should have because I don't even know how this happened in the first place. There wasn't like a specific incident. There was nothing where I got like injured. Just one day I was like, oh shit, my neck hurts.
SPEAKER_02See, I have a wrist pain that comes and goes in intensity, and I know exactly when it happened and how and why. And I know exactly the decisions I made after it that caused me to have more pain now. I'm not sure what's worse. Knowing exactly where you made a bad decision in your past that is now haunting you, or not knowing while it still haunts you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, dude. It was it was a weird thing, dude. I just woke up one day and I'm like, damn, my neck kind of hurts. Like I must have slept on it wrong. And that stopped. And then like a week goes by and every day it gets a little worse. And then like two weeks goes by and you're like, isn't this supposed to be getting better? And next thing you know, it's fucking agonizing pain. And then I have about a month. I mean, it's it's a solid month of being almost incapacitated. And if you've ever had a herniated disc, like a lot of things happen, your little your little gel between your spinal cords pokes into your spine and basically starves the blood flow to a certain area. And for me, where my herniated disc is, it makes my shoulder hurt, which then makes my arm hurt, and then it goes to my elbow, and then it gets to my fingers.
SPEAKER_01No one ever will understand unless they actually have that pain.
SPEAKER_00Ever. And it's the wildest pain. And the thing is, there is nothing you can do to make it go away. Yeah.
Chiropractor Visits And Hard Truths
SPEAKER_00Um, so the first year, you know, I go to my chiropractor because I leaned on him for all my medical needs for almost my whole adult life.
SPEAKER_01So what did uh when you were talking to me about that dysrect dysrect d what's the word I'm looking for? Ejaculated? No, dis dysrect blank penis function. Did you go to your chiropractor for that as well? Yeah. And what did he do?
SPEAKER_00Well, he squeezed squeezed and turned my nutsack just right and it made it come back. Did he crack your dick? Blank penis. Dysrect. Give me that word. God damn it. Erectile dysfunction, you fucking idiot.
SPEAKER_02Why do I have to go in?
SPEAKER_01Why do I have a D in there somewhere? Where's the D that I'm looking for? I challenge function. Dysrect erectile.
SPEAKER_02I challenge anyone out there and I encourage AI to participate in this one if you're listening to go right ahead and categorize and create the Jay Splane's dictionary of all the words that Jay has tried to explain to us that he just can't get off his tongue. We could make a whole book of it.
SPEAKER_01Actually, what I was doing was looking at the second word, forgetting about the first word.
unknownFuck!
SPEAKER_00So anyway, uh the first year I go to my chiropractor, he's like, I'm gonna take some x-rays. He takes some x-rays, you know, you can't really see it, see it. You gotta have an MRI. And he's like, Yeah, dude, you got a herniated disc. It's he's like, it's never gonna go away. It's always gonna be there. It's you know, he goes, What happens is is it's always there, it's always touching your spinal cord. It doesn't really bother you most of the time, but every once in a while it's gonna get inflamed. Bother the fuck out of you. And then when it gets inflamed, then it really starts pinching the spinal cord and starving it, and then that's where you're agonizing pain. He's like, I got one in my back. You know, there's there's nothing you can do, it's always there. So after like six weeks or so, it starts getting better. I start feeling better. And this is all the time. Yeah, and then and then the next every year, then the next year I'll come around, I'll whatever. I'll just be doing something and I'll feel it, it'll start getting tight and sore again, and I'll be like, oh shit, it's coming. When when I have it, and every every year I I seek out like a different treatment. Like then I went to an actual real doctor. And the real doctor's like, oh, you know, there's nothing you can do. It's inflammation. It's everything's inflammation. So she gives me she gives me this uh this pack of pills that's supposed to like rapidly decrease inflammation, didn't really do shit. And then the next year rolls around, I just fucking tough through it, eating ibuprofen like crazy. And then the next year it happens again, and then I go see an orthopedic surgeon, and they send me in for MRIs, and they're like, Yeah, you got a herniated disc. In your neck?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I'm like, Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Like, what uh uh well when when someone uh says to you you have a herniated disc, like what does that even mean? When I think about it squish cartilage between your backbones, so hurt her herniated, herniate herniated let's do this herniated. So that meaning the uh the squishy part is gone and it so bone to bone?
SPEAKER_00What happens is if you if you think of your spinal cord in like a section, one of the one side the spacing goes from we're just gonna use a fucking dumb number, a half of an inch, which we're which is what it should be when you have the disc, the the cartilage between the discs, the cushion, that compresses down on one side down to we're gonna say a quarter of an inch. Yeah. And then it displaces it out the other end where it's still open.
SPEAKER_01So it's touching on one side and not on the other. Yeah. So that's where the pain comes from.
SPEAKER_02Think of it like a jelly donut and getting swished down and why you press on one side of the jelly donut and it comes shooting out of the other side. You can squish the jelly donut, but if you squish too much on one side, it causes it to burst out.
SPEAKER_01Is this how a chiropractor gets their business? Is they take that jelly donut. They stretch it out to get suck it back in. In my my eyes, maybe that's what you think, but in my eyes thinking is push that jelly back in and then unsquish that area where it's not squished. Yeah, but I mean, like, it really doesn't work like that.
SPEAKER_00Like they can like if it's not bad and it's not inflamed, like they can kind of relieve it for a short period of time, but they're not really changing what that what the bone is doing to that disc.
SPEAKER_01I think it's super interesting that if someone could explain chiropractory rework and like how they actually fix something like that, like how is that even possible?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I mean I don't think they actually fix it. I think they relieve it temporarily.
SPEAKER_01It's like taking But how can you relieve it when it comes like how can you I just I don't know. I just doesn't make sense. Well, I don't think you can answer that question.
SPEAKER_00They're not changing this the permanent spacing, they're just tweaking it for the time being, but not actually. But how can they tweak it when the the space is already gone? By by forcing your body in the opposite direction, causing the spacing to come back temporarily.
SPEAKER_01So you're walking in like left arm to the ground, and then you're walking back out with your right arm.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they pull you the other way to try to even you back out. Okay. But anyway, all right.
Surgery Options And Why They Scare
SPEAKER_00So I go see an orthopedic surgeon like three years ago. And and they're like, oh yeah, yeah, herniated disc. Um, we can fix that. So what we're gonna do Cut you open. We're gonna cut you in the front of your neck. Bind it all together with metal. We're gonna we're gonna reach back there, we're gonna trim away the part of your disc that's sticking out, and then we're gonna slap a metal plate over the top of it and screw it to each side of the spine. And that's gonna hold the remaining the remaining disc in place. It's not gonna be able to get past that metal plate. But there's still a gaping hole there, right? Yeah. So Well, and four screw holes into your bone. So you said no, right? Well, we started talking about it some more, and uh so some things happen, like there's a very low success rate on the surgery. Give me a percentage. 20. Yeah, that'd be no. It's like 60% up until seven years, and then it falls down to 20% because when they screw through the bones, it actually causes the same thing to happen to the disc above the plate and the disc below the plate. Well, Jesus Christ, you have a so then after about ten years, uh, they want you to come back, open you back up, and then put a bigger plate and fuse and fuse four of your uh four of the sections of your spine together instead of just two. You know what?
SPEAKER_01Uh I've seen Terminator before, and he got his ass whooped a lot. And and he came back every time. So you should just do that.
SPEAKER_00Here's the thing.
SPEAKER_02I know, I know or Wolverine it with the super general.
SPEAKER_01Well, Wolverine is a healing though.
SPEAKER_02He doesn't ever have to do regenerative healing.
SPEAKER_01I mean, he he drinks himself drunk and he wakes up two minutes later because he can't get drunk.
SPEAKER_00So over the years suck. I would hate not too much. I've bought I've boughtten everything. You bought I've bought everything that that is supposed to help with this. There's all these different pills, there's all these like fucking contraptions you hang over your door.
SPEAKER_01How many pills? Like, like how many pills did they say?
SPEAKER_00I got 15 different pills.
SPEAKER_01No, pills, P-I-L-L-S.
SPEAKER_00Oh, well, and that's the other thing. They'll get you hooked on them real easy. I will not take anything stronger than an alleve. No, I'm saying, I'm I'm saying they they offer me pain pills, they offer me nerve blockers, they offer me all this, all these fucking pills.
SPEAKER_01I'm asking, not something that blocks pain.
SPEAKER_00Um something like they did that you're trying to do is alleviate the uh inflammation, which would be uh organic, like so things like and on that that's they they do give you um and probably for the last three years, everything that's happens, they give me I think it's called a Meterol dose pack, and it's basically a seven-day pyramid of pills. And these are all like a bubble pack, and they're steroids, and uh the only thing they do is decrease inflammation. And yeah, that's all I ever hear every time this fucking happens, dude. It's it's it's all inflamed. It's inflammation, it's all inflammation. It's inflamed. And they're like the disc the it's always there. It's it's always going to be there. Wasn't that true? I'm looking it up. So this last time, this last time it happened, I woke up, I woke up about five weeks ago.
Inflammation As The Real Trigger
SPEAKER_00Wait, wait, you were asleep for five weeks? Yeah, I was asleep for five weeks ago. I woke up about five weeks ago, and I was like, I can feel that this is starting with my neck again. And I just thought back to everything I've been told over and over by everybody that this is all inflammation, right? So I make the decision, it was a Sunday morning. I'm like, well, if this is all inflammation, over the last year I've I've kind of been learning a little bit more about like the food we eat and like what it's doing to you, and all the oils we use and all the fucking bad shit they put in food that is I want to say slowly killing us, but I think it's more rapidly killing us.
SPEAKER_02In this thing I pulled up on the internet, I think they're calling what you're talking about developing chronic systemic inflammation.
SPEAKER_01And basically, well, I mean, I've seen it. I mean, I've seen every time you guys get these fast food orders when we're about to record on a podcast.
SPEAKER_02I can see the inflammation.
SPEAKER_01You fucking not see it turn into an inflammation vampire.
SPEAKER_00Get out of here. So I'm sitting, I wake up like five Sundays ago. That's why that's why I never ate with you guys. And I'm like, I'm like, if this, if this is what my chiropractor, my doctor, my orthopedic surgeon, uh, I had a cortisone shot, which which that is the only goal to this is to reduce inflammation. That's all it does. That's the pill he wants you to take. Um, no, that's where they fucking put you on an operating table and do a ultrasound guided gigantic needle into your spine and shoot apparently it's called cortisone into your into your fucking spine and around it, and that uh is supposed to rapidly reduce the inflammation, and honestly, it didn't do shit. You didn't it was fucking miserable. Um and you know, every fucking doctor I go to, they're like, oh, I'm gonna prescribe you gabapetin, I'm gonna prescribe you Vicadin, I'm gonna prescribe you, you know. Why would they prescribe that's their fucking answer for everything? Like, here, dude, munch on this bottle of fucking pills. Gabapetin is for seizures.
SPEAKER_02Or extremely acute inflammation.
SPEAKER_00It's it's a nerve blocker, is what it is. It's supposed to make this nerve pain that I can't even fucking describe. Like until until you experience it. Like it makes me it and this is what scares me the most about assistant because it's so bad at times. I've I've literally just been laying in my bed, you can't get comfortable, you can't do anything, and literally just started fucking crying, you know, like literally like a fucking baby who didn't get a fucking toy. I've had some pain like that before. And and there's nothing, there's nothing you can do to make it go away. And the doctors just push these pills on you, and it's dude, I fucking hundred percent understand how people get hooked on these pills because there's literally you would do anything to make it go away.
SPEAKER_02Well, and they have addictive components.
SPEAKER_00And I just made the decision based on my addictive personality that if I fucking start taking these pills, I will never stop. I I will be I will be the fucking person like you know, defaulting on my mortgage because I'm I'm buying fucking 200 Vicodins a week or whatever. Sure. I just I I fucking know this about myself, so I won't take this stuff. And this last time, dude, I was like, that I I don't know what else to do. Like there's nobody else I can go to. There's nobody that's gonna like fix this without me having a surgery that is ultimately gonna fail. So I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, I'm I'm fucking sore sitting on the couch, and I'm like, my next two months are fucked now.
SPEAKER_02Because you know you're because experience tells you you're gonna be a pain.
SPEAKER_00I already know what's gonna happen. I'm gonna be fucking sitting there and I'm not gonna be able to do shit. I'm not gonna go into work for a month, I'm it's gonna be miserable. Because every time it's like slightly worse than the last time. So I'm like, well, everybody keeps telling me this is only caused by inflammation. And the more I've been learning about food, the more I realize that all the inflammation caused in your body is due to the food we eat.
SPEAKER_02Well, it makes sense. I mean, the things you put in the car engine is what makes the car go. The things you put in the body is what makes the body go.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
Googling Anti-Inflammatory Foods For Relief
SPEAKER_00So I go on this mission and I just start Googling what are the best foods to fight inflammation? What top 20 anti-inflammatory foods, and I started making a fucking huge list. And then I started narrowing it down. Was there only 20? No, I that's just like the range I was going. I didn't want to I didn't want to overcomplicate this.
SPEAKER_01Actually, my question was what actually my mark, my the better question would be like what uh help with anti-institution.
SPEAKER_00Dude, I I did like 95 different Googles. I wrote down hundreds of things.
SPEAKER_01Is there a lot is there a lot of foods that help with the the uh and the the reverse of it? Like did if I went to the grocery store, could I find a lot of shit? Do I have to like research or and or uh really like get down to the nitty-gritty to find where I'm gonna get these food from?
SPEAKER_00So I narrowed it down to like 20-something things. I I just whittled away at this list, came up with like 25 things.
SPEAKER_02Let me hear the 25 things. You didn't focus on the things that were causing harm. You went to find the things that could potentially increase.
SPEAKER_01Okay, let me hear that. Can can I can't do you have that list in front of you? I got the list in front of you. Can it I would love to get that list?
SPEAKER_00So for the last five weeks, I I have not veered off of this list. Hold on. Unless it was absolutely necessary. Hold on.
SPEAKER_02I want to prop preface this list with why is the food that's mass presented and available to us so fucking bad? Like, why is it so bad? Because because the list he's gonna give you is not what we normally eat. Like the things that he I've I've just I haven't seen the list. I don't. I heard three or four things he said that were all somewhat common items, but there's probably things on this list that are things that we just don't think to ever eat. Well, uh not think to they're not like there for us. Almost like what you were saying, you go in the store and get it. Like how come we can't? Why is it not presented in a way you think healthier food is available?
SPEAKER_01Are you saying like what you're presenting here now is what you're saying is because they want us to be sick?
SPEAKER_02The they whoever the fuck they are, maybe, but like why is it? Yeah. I I don't know how to preface it. But I I I don't want to cut off. He's gonna go through the list. But like why is it? I don't know. We'll we'll talk about it later.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. It's gonna come up.
Why Processed Food Keeps Winning
SPEAKER_00It has to it has to do with these companies becoming monopolies and making it and making things with as little so if you're make if you're making something right and it needs because I I I literally just watched a video about this today. So let's just say you're a chocolate company and then so what what's the main ingredient you need to make chocolate? I believe it's cocoa beans. Cocoa beans or cacao and and sugar and you mix that shit together and you make chocolate. Well, you actually have to grow these beans, and that slows down and limits how fast they can produce chocolate. And when you see any fucking food that has multiple ingredients, it's not a single source thing, and you see and you see the words in there natural flavors, you should fucking avoid it at all cost. Because they can actually put whatever they want in it. Natural flavors is not is is something that doesn't have to be listed on what it actually is.
SPEAKER_02Well, like red five is crushed up bud bugs or something.
SPEAKER_00Um yeah, citric acid is a derivative of black mold, and citric acid is in everything we fucking eat. And then people wonder why we're always sick. Like they've fucking turned black mold into something that everybody consumes on almost a daily basis. Like you fucking turn around anything and read the ingredients, and there's citric acid in it. Not all citric acids are well. I I would agree with the the uh natural flavors, everything has the but the natural flavors is actually a fucking chemical that makes you crave that particular item. It can be anything though. They don't have that uh you think natural flavors, you're like, okay, so they're squeezing a lemon in here. No, I never thought that sounds like a good thing.
SPEAKER_01Every time we talked about this, like I've talked about about this with my father and my brother, we know that it's something that's not good. And it's always the last of the list. So whenever you look at an ingredients list, the first thing is the most the biggest thing in the the thing you're consuming, by the way.
SPEAKER_00Yes, it is, it has to be. So these companies, like the the one specifically they were talking about in this video was was Kinder.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's a big one in Europe. Which Kinder like they make the little fucking egg that all the kids like my kids fucking beg for kick cat looking things with the milk filling in them.
SPEAKER_00And they've eliminated they've eliminated the use of cocoa in their stuff, and now all their and now all their chocolate is all fucking made in a lab. And uh they were talking about that they spent like 350 million dollars to develop it, to develop a synthetic chocolate so that they could make more of this product because there's not enough beans available to keep up. The worst part about it is it probably tastes better. Fucking awesome too. Yeah, fucking awesome.
SPEAKER_01It probably tastes way better.
SPEAKER_00So I I picked out these 20-something foods based on the fact that they are all known for eliminating inflammation. Okay, okay. So I'm gonna go through the list real quick, and it's kinda it's kind of crazy.
The Five-Week Food List Breakdown
SPEAKER_02And to preface people, he told me this is all you have ate for five weeks.
SPEAKER_00So only these two I've cheated on this diet like three times based on the fact that I happened to be someplace and I was I was hungry, and not one thing on this list was available. All right. I'm here. One was like at a at a Milwaukee Bucks sporting event, like I'm fucking starving in public where we paid thousands of dollars to be there. There was not one fucking thing that complied with this diet. Let's hear the list. Let's hear a list. So so the the diet consists of I I just have written down salmon. Okay. But it's salmon mackerel or um uh the the fucking little fish in a tin. Sardines. So those three Wild caught. Wild caught. I can't have anything, any meat that's farm raised. I can only have by your own discretion, by my own discretion for the diet that I created for the goal of making the symptoms of my herniated disc better. Okay. So salmon, sardines, mackerel. Okay. I got that as one thing, blueberries, um a combination, uh, and and I've just drinking it a couple times, but a com combination of turmeric, ginger, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, and black pepper.
SPEAKER_01Let me ask you this real quick. How do you get all these things into one uh concoction?
SPEAKER_02Uh you you make you make apple cider vinegar or something.
SPEAKER_00You make that like you would tea, basically.
SPEAKER_01So you put you put so where do you get these these ingredients? You take seasonings? Yeah or yeah, you don't take actual ginger from its own.
SPEAKER_00Well, the ginger, the ginger I use as actual ginger. I cut that up. Turmeric, I actually I did cut some up. I also use it as a spice, but the cayenne and the cinnamon sticks I use is all cinnamon sticks.
SPEAKER_01So I'm I I make like uh fresh like smoothies sometimes, and I cut my own turmeric up and I didn't use gloves. Your hands are so yellow for a fucking week. My fucking fingers were for a week.
SPEAKER_00Orange it wasn't yellow, it was orange. Yeah. Um, I can have real olive oil, okay, which finding out that's not quite as easy as it sounds.
SPEAKER_01Well, uh, there's cold pressed, there is uh so obviously you get cold press. I got cold pressed. It destroys all the ingredients if you do not have it. Extra virgin from Italy. I mean, you can go people can go from fucking one thing to the next and say this is the best fucking virgin oil you can or uh uh get. Extra virgin. And then you go for one thing to the next. You don't know what the best is for you. That's the problem.
SPEAKER_00Spinach, spinach, walnuts, okay, broccoli, avocados, cherries, dark chocolate over 78%. Cacao. Kale. Tomatoes. You're eating tomatoes like apples? Yeah. I love that. Almonds. Okay. Almonds. Garlic. Okay. Any variety of pepper. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Apples. I like them. Beets. Never really got into that. I love beets.
SPEAKER_00Like the jellied ones and it wasn't heartburn. No, just straight fucking beets. Give me heartburn, man. Okay. Um, celery, which I ain't fucking touching with a ton of. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_01Wait. Did you actually eat celery? I did not. Okay, so why the fuck's that on the list?
SPEAKER_02I watched guy eat because I watched a guy on a YouTube video eat an entire bundle or whatever of celery, and he's like, it'll take me 17 minutes, I bet. And they showed himself cutting in and out. It took like a five-minute, four-minute video or whatever. Eating this fucking celery. He ate the whole fucking thing, including the knot at the bottom. It took him 22 and hours.
SPEAKER_01Was he choking on the like the word? The uh you know the strings.
SPEAKER_02Was he eating it like a sub sandwich? Like the whole fucking rock.
SPEAKER_00But I put it on the list because I was like, well, maybe I give it a try because it has no taste or smell.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what you're probably fucking weird.
SPEAKER_00It's extremely anti-inflammatory and anti-parasitic. Can't you simmer it down into a stew, like a sauce? I don't know. I just I don't like the taste of it, man.
SPEAKER_02Could you beat broth some beets and celery broth?
SPEAKER_01I'm making oxtail soup, and one of the ingredients is celery. There you go. They dissolved into nothing. Yeah, you could just make an onion. It's it's like just melts in your mouth.
SPEAKER_00But then I got lemon and limes. Okay. Okay. Brussels sprouts. Ugh. No, those are can be good if you're. I fucking love Brussels sprouts, so I was excited that those were on the list. Okay. Cabbage, obviously, because Brussels sprouts are just so cabbage.
SPEAKER_01I cannot eat cooked cabbage. I like raw cabbage. Mushrooms.
SPEAKER_00Sure. Pumpkin seeds. Okay. Carrots and squash. Boiled eggs, Irish butter, pink salt, and venison or any other wild game meat. And the the most the most anti-inflammatory wild game meat there is is rabbit. And I just don't have a way to get at rabbit right now. Gross. Girls. I went to Pat Cole.
SPEAKER_02I don't sell them to me for eating. I threw a rabbit in the trash that was pre-rigamortis. My dog captured.
SPEAKER_01I want to know what what okay. Tell me what are these meals you've made with this, with this uh the whatever you just fucking
Meals, Mercury Concerns, And Cutting Sugar
SPEAKER_01said? Broccoli. Tell me a meal you got full on.
SPEAKER_02Tell me a meal you got full on with this. Broccoli with the seasoned with garlic and turmeric with a side of ras or blueberries and then an apple for dessert.
SPEAKER_01So you're saying he ate a meal of broccoli to fill them up for a month.
SPEAKER_00So no way. Carrots? So there's been several times. You're eating a lot of salmon then. So I I do actually eat a ton of salmon. That's risky too. That carries its own risk.
SPEAKER_02The hard metals. Carries its own risk.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna fuck around with that mercury. Mercury? You have heard of mercury?
SPEAKER_02I'm eating Alaskan sockeye. I got a salmon guy, actually. I can hook you up with the salmon guy.
SPEAKER_00Only if you ask sockeye. All right, stop.
SPEAKER_02I won't fuck with anything else. Oh, this is I got a guy I'm gonna do. Tell me.
SPEAKER_01Tell me the last meal that fucking filled you up like you couldn't believe. And tell me what it was.
SPEAKER_00So uh yesterday for dinner when I got done watching my whole family eat fast food. Um I went home, I took my glass baking dish, I threw a little hunk of salmon in there, I threw a couple pieces of broccoli in there, and two of the the sweet uh yellow, a yellow and a red pepper, threw it in the oven for fucking.
SPEAKER_01That wasn't on your list.
SPEAKER_00What? Any peppers. Any peppers. I didn't hear peppers. Yeah, okay. Any pepper. I'm sorry I didn't hear it. Um I threw that in the oven, took it out, ate it right out of the dish I baked it in, and it's it's fucking amazing. I don't know if you'd have to eat it.
SPEAKER_01Olive oil on tap right now. I feel like you'd have to do that every single meal. You'd have to have that exactly like Chris just said, the exact same thing.
SPEAKER_00Every meal So here's the thing. I'm gonna go for it for breakfast. I don't eat for breakfast. So I don't eat breakfast or something. What do you do for lunch? I don't eat breakfast or what do you do for lunch? Do you drink black coffee? Black black coffee actually is on the list, but I used to- Where are you getting your coffee? Folgers?
SPEAKER_02No. What? What do you mean? No, you laugh. That's the prime. Um I was gonna say Maxwell House.
SPEAKER_01I said folgers. Which is the one the commercial you wake up in the morning to smell of coffee?
SPEAKER_00The best part of waking up Folgers Maxwell House in your Folgers in your house.
SPEAKER_01No, Maxwell House is not big enough.
SPEAKER_02Maxwell House is good to the last drop.
SPEAKER_01Is that the best one?
SPEAKER_02But Folgers is the best.
SPEAKER_00That's the commercial we're just saying. Yeah. So I took I took that dairy out of my coffee that I normally immediately. Um, so yeah, I basically I basically have cut all sugar, all carbs, um, all dairy out of my diet. The only thing dairy I still eat is the grass-fed butter. Which, I mean, we talked about that on a different episode.
SPEAKER_02It is m magical that they can get this butter to eat grass, but go on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. No, that's it's bizarre to me too, but um, it's definitely I didn't even know my butter needed to be fed.
SPEAKER_02I just put it inside its little glass cage in my refrigerator. The only thing in the fridge that gets a cage, and I put it in there and it don't feed it anything, and it's there. I don't know. No, I if you don't feed your butter, it will start. I heard it has to be Irish grass too. Or is it Irish butter that eats the grass?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um Irish butter eats the grass.
SPEAKER_00I'm telling you, if you start using it, you'll never want to use the regular fucking shitty butter. They come in, they come in bars, uh dairy. Half pound sticks. Sticks, sticks, okay. But I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you some of the things that have changed in my life. Uh one, I crave nothing anymore. It doesn't sound fun. I I don't so the only thing that still fucks with me.
SPEAKER_02Guy dreams in white on white.
SPEAKER_00The only thing that still fucks with me a little bit that bottle of eagle rare is the smell of fucking chicken. Fried chicken. Fried chicken. So chicken's not on the list. Chicken's not on the list. Is crawfish boils on the list? Because I got camping can so chicken, chicken's kind of considered neutral. It's not inflammatory, and it's not anti-inflammatory.
SPEAKER_02But you're not fucking with that right now. But I'm not fucking with that right now.
SPEAKER_01But again, you can't you don't fuck with it right now because you're on the diet. But you will do it. Oh, yeah. Uh, what do you call it? Um, you know, uh increments, yeah very slow increments where you can just still eat what you're doing now and then just throw the chicken in there every once in a while.
SPEAKER_00No, I and I'm not on this diet as like a forever thing. I'm on it strictly because of my herniated disc to see to see if this would it's like a last stitch effort to see if this'll help. That's the problem with diets though. So let me tell you, let me tell you since I started this, the things that have changed in
What Changed In Pain And Cravings
SPEAKER_00my life. Okay. All right. For one, I wake up every morning and I'm fucking stiff. I'm stiff everywhere. Your boner? Yeah. Especially that. But all my joints are blood flowing like a rhino. All my joints are stiff. Why are you? And that's not a good thing. That's not a good thing. It's caused because of, and Jay can attest to this, what we do for a living. I I'm fucking filled with arthritis, right? Yes. You know, my legs, my fucking back, every everything on me is arthritic. Like I feel like I'm stiff as a fucking board when I wake up. All that after like two weeks went away. I I wake up and I just feel like fucking normal. It's crazy. My back doesn't hurt anymore. My fucking ankles don't hurt. My my ankles, so back when I used to skateboard, I've broken my left ankle according to the last time I broke it more than eight times. Now I never went to the doctor except once for this. Yeah. But he's like, I used to be like, but he's like, your ankle has been broken. My ankle clicks when I walk up or downstairs. It just click pop, click pop, click pop. That stopped. Uh my fucking for some reason I noticed I've been cutting my nails twice a week. Like they're growing like fucking crazy. My my pedicurist is like my pedicure budget has doubled since I've been on this. Um every everything about my fucking like overall well-being the way I feel has changed so substantially, it doesn't even make sense. Really? And and every year for the last six years, when this disc starts acting up, I got like a one-week period where it's sore and tight, and then I have a month where it's fucking unbearable.
SPEAKER_01It comes back to the same fucking thing. You are what you eat. Yeah. You eat fucking fast food, you're gonna feel fast terrible. I don't I I mean, you eat fucking vegetables, you're gonna feel amazing.
SPEAKER_00So usually, usually for four straight weeks, my neck is so unbearable, and that causes other problems. That causes my muscles around that area to to guard and protect the injury that's in my neck. And basically what ends up happening is those muscles end up getting so strained that once my neck starts feeling better, then my shoulder and what what's that called? Like your trap muscle up on top of your shoulder is just hard as a rock for a fucking month because it can't calm down. And I'm five weeks into this to this neck flare-up, and uh my neck bothered me for about two weeks, and it's normally a month. It never got it never got to the point of complete agony, and right now it's I don't know how you say it, on the mend, where my neck isn't hurting anymore, and my shoulder just needs some time to loosen back up. And I'm five weeks into it, and usually that's what I I am where it usually is after about seven weeks right now. So whatever the fuck was happening in my neck, and I don't know if I can attribute this completely to this diet, but I can't think of anything else it could be. It's it's cut down these problems so substantially, it's fucking crazy.
Heartburn Relief And Rapid Weight Loss
SPEAKER_00Well, and then the other thing I've struggled with my entire life, my entire adult life, has been heartburn. I was on I was on uh um what's that called? Omeprzole. Omeprzole. Um what's the name brand word for it? Whatever. I was on I was on omeprzole from the time I've been 17 until two years ago.
SPEAKER_01Wait, wait, wait. You take it you you you do what everyone knows, you take it every morning, right? Yep, I take it every morning. And then what, why you just uh decided to stop taking it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so my brother That's not how it works. My brother had the same thing, and my brother stopped taking it like three years ago, and we were hunting two years ago, and I forgot. To bring my omeprazole and I asked him for one because I knew he had been on it for 20 plus years. And he goes, Oh, I stopped taking them last year. It was crazy. My gut just kind of healed itself. So I stopped taking it. Well, how did he get all out of it? I don't know. But I stopped taking omeprazole, and then instead of taking like a once-a-day, all-day thing, I started using Pepsidaces. And I I would just take them when I got heartburn. So that was typically twice a day, at least once a day, but sometimes three times a day.
SPEAKER_01So you took that instead of meprazol.
SPEAKER_00Yes. How long? For how long? For like the last two years, I've been taking pepsidaces.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that is totally different than we forgot them all. At least at least four four times. That's totally that's totally different than stopping a meprazol because meprazol uh reduces the acids uh in your stomach, and you can't just stop taking. But I would still get heartburn on a meprazole all the time. I know, but it's different than okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well this is this isn't this isn't I know this isn't a talk about my 30-year fucking bout with omeprazole. This is a talk of since I've stopped taking omeprazole, I've been using these pepsids, which are a lot closer to like what a Tums is. Like a quick chew 'em up, fucking it reduces your heartburn for until it comes back again.
SPEAKER_02Until it comes back again.
SPEAKER_00So I I've been taking these pepsids forever, and since I started this diet in five weeks, I've taken them uh the pepsids only two times. All my fucking heartburn that I've been dealing with since I was fucking eating like shit since I've been 17 years old has all went away. Like I I don't I'm not getting heartburn at all. Like my body is literally fucking curing itself, which is crazy. And I I only did this for the sake of my neck, but all the side effects it's had on me has been so wildly positive. I think you're gonna inspire a lot of people here. And and the craziest thing, the craziest thing that's happened through this whole thing is I've lost almost a pound a day. Yeah, because what are you like 6'2? Um 6'2. You always hit the button a little early. Like five five weeks ago when I started this.
SPEAKER_01You can hear this for like 25 minutes. I weigh.
SPEAKER_00I weighed myself in and I was like 246 pounds. And that's kind of where I've been at for the last year or two. And right now, this morning I was like 214.8. Like I've lost in track. I've lost I weigh myself once a week. Fair enough. And uh like I I'm just rapidly losing weight, which does let me know that the food companies are intentionally trying to kill us. Oh, dude, no one told you that before think about the fucking hot boy summer it's gonna be if I get if I start losing this cancer weight. Oh my god, dude, you won't be able to keep a shirt on me this summer.
SPEAKER_01I uh I I I I I've taken diets in my life, but if you can stick to this, Tony, I commend you because it's not like something you can just change.
Making It A Lifestyle Then Closing
SPEAKER_01Because first off, you your your family stop the fucking music, dude.
SPEAKER_00We're still talking, and now I'm being distracted. I can't listen to what you're trying to say.
SPEAKER_01Your family is still eating the same way that you did. Yeah. So how can you do that? Easy. No, I'm just saying it doesn't last that long.
SPEAKER_00So I'm over I'm over a month into this, and what I'm watching my family eat literally makes me disgusted now. It like it doesn't make me want it.
SPEAKER_02Like, you're gonna have to get divorced and get married to that.
SPEAKER_00I sat in a fast food restaurant and watched six people that I fucking love, like truly love in my life, eat shit that was making me fucking dry heave. And seven weeks ago, I would have fucking finished all their plates. Like it's like I I look at this shit and I don't even want it anymore. But I'm gonna I'm just hoping that this shit lasts. The first thing, the first thing I eat when I get off of this is gonna be some ratchet ass hot wings from fucking Wing Stop. That's your problem.
SPEAKER_01You're thinking about what you're gonna eat after you're done with your diet. A diet is not something you do for a little time, it's something it's like a lifestyle change. Well, and that this is the thing. It's not even about what you're gonna do after it has been. It's a lifestyle change, it's a complete lifestyle change. Right. Your lifestyle is done. Whatever you had before. Shut it down, it's done. Shut it down. You have to do it now for the rest of your life. Yeah, it's not a diet.
SPEAKER_00And you know the thing is, is I don't even fucking care because it's not a diet. I'm literally just eating how we're supposed to eat. I'm gonna turn a music back and I'm gonna turn it up. That's all I'm doing, is doing exactly what my body's designed to do. It sounds like you're going right back to the body isn't fucking designed for keybler and craft.
SPEAKER_02Craft foods is all we were built to eat, dude.
SPEAKER_00They're literally trying to kill us.
SPEAKER_02I don't know what you're talking about on next week's episode. Me and Jay talk about all the crap we eat. I'm the worst. I'm gonna get in on some good shit I got down on over the weekend.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Chris!
SPEAKER_00And I'll still go out to eat with both of you guys and watch you guys eat whatever the fuck you want and not give a fuck about it. But if it is chicken wings, I probably will have a part of it. I'll peer pressure you into it. And on next week. I'm easily swayed, so we should probably do that.
SPEAKER_02Top shelf stories every week in your ears. Thanks for tuning in. Tell your friends, hit that like button, subscribe, all that kind of crap. Help us in the algorithm. Eat your blueberries and your mackerel.
