What Youth Sports Really Costs Families

We take Jay’s Florida trip from pre-flight anxiety to the brutal reality of a youth flag football “world championship” in Orlando. The tournament ends fast, Disney costs a fortune, and the real damage shows up after everyone gets home. 

• Jay’s travel anxiety and fear of flying before the trip 
• How the Orlando flag football world championship invite really works 
• Tournament fees plus the Disney 15-day stay requirement 
• The hidden costs of travel sports for families 
• Rule differences by state and getting blindsided on day one 
• Going 1-3 the first day and drawing a tough bracket 
• Losing on Saturday and processing the reality check 
• Coaching equal play time and tension with another parent coach 
• Disney Hollywood Studios and the pricey Star Wars lightsaber build 
• 3D and 4D rides, motion sickness, and tapping out of rides 
• Chris’s Universal Studios Harry Potter ride story with an unforgettable twist 
• Post-trip fallout as the quarterback leaves for a new team 

Transcript

Cold Open And Headphones

0:00

Top shelf stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony. Yeah. Tony won't be able to hear us if he doesn't put his headphones on. Put your headphones on, Tony. What the fuck? I can't hear you unless you have your headphones on. Hello, everyone. Hey Jay. Jay here. I uh I bring uh Tony and Chris here to tell my story about my travels to Florida. You went on a trip? I did. Interesting. Traveling's fun. You never know what's gonna happen when you go on a trip. Never. And I am a very anxious person, so I think the negative about the future all the time. So yes, I was very uh anxious about it. Especially the the uh the the plane ride. You're for sure gonna crash when you guys were flying for sure. Like I just you know the movie um oh shit, what's the name of that movie now? Never seen it. Snakes on a plane on air. Flight of the Navigator. The one where the guy uh predicts the death of everyone. Uh he gets them off the plane and they survive. I know what you did last summer? They survive, but they all die because they should have died at the plane. Is this the one where they all eat each other on the mountain after the plane crash? No carnivore one. Let's forget about it because I don't fucking remember it. Snakes on a plane. Final destination. Yes, Tony! Solid pickup. I'm not even paying attention. He's not. It's on his phone. So what was it? I know what you did last summer. Final destination. The first one. Okay, okay.

The Invitation To Orlando Worlds

1:58

So I uh I got invited to go to the World Championship, flag football world championship in Orlando, Florida. Your competitor? Not me. Oh trust me, not me. I am not in any shape. You're the water boy. You know what? If I told you that, you would fluffer. You would think I would be some type of uh backup guy for anyone in the flag football. Like if I say that to you, you'd be like, yeah. You're a backup punter? He's definitely not catching the ball. So it is for a 13U, which means 13 and under uh uh flag football championship. How'd you sneak into that division? My height, you fucker. He's doing high jokes on himself now. Tony, get off your fucking phone. Sorry, I'm I'm responding to an email. I just love his attention. A message that needed to be responded to. What is it? It's eight o'clock, eight thirty. Now I know what my wife feels like when she's telling me problems at work. When I'm like, yeah, I know exactly what you're saying. When I'm actually playing a video game. Yeah. I'll be right with you, sir. Jay was telling us about how he's getting extensions installed in his thighs and on his in his uh You're getting a BBL. Dude, that they do that in Japan. Yeah, make him a little taller. It's called BBLs. Yeah. No, no, no. Where it makes your legs taller. He had to get taller because he got stuck in a U-13 league playing flag football. It's girls. Or wait, maybe it wasn't boys. I don't know. Because the flags were dragging behind you. All right. So where were you

The Fees And The Fine Print

3:40

where? Jay was flying to Florida for flag football. I got yelled, I yelled at the ref for like, hey, you can't step on my flag. No, so my I I have a son that's um we've been playing for the past three or four years, and our team has been undefeated the entire time. And we got invited to this flag football championship, world championship in Orlando, Florida. Uh yeah, Orlando, Florida. By invite, it was free, right? I threw you off into carrying. You know what? It it's fine. I'm trying to make it sound cooler than it really is, Tony. But no, it's not free. You applied for it? But the whole team was able to make it? The whole yeah, the whole team was able to make it. Uh, it was $950 for the team. Per kid? No, it was the the entire the hot the entire team. So it's not that bad when you fly and hotels? No, no. For a week? God damn it for 22 kids? I wish. And their families? Fine. You know what? It's it's a money-making machine. You guys, you guys rented the spirit airplane for like fucking three-in-air boxes, stayed in it also. I was roped. It's like a bed. We'll see you guys in the morning. When the lady called and invited us to this thing, it was like I felt like we were the chosen few. Yeah, the chosen few. Yeah. And then Is this Mr. Wisnesky? No, it's Wisnisku. Yeah, Wisnewski. A thousand You've won. One thousand teams later, we were in Orlando, Florida. Wow. It costed $950 for each team. So take that. Take that times that's what what is that? What's nine hundred and fifty times a thousand? That's nine hundred and fifty thousand, right? $950,000, right? So they're making $950,000 just for admission fee. And then not to mention popcorn was $5. $5. It's more like fucking $15. Whoa. So they didn't. So after I got okay, so when this person called me and I agreed to the what she said, I was like, yes, I'm gonna get my team involved. I talked to the team, and everyone's excited. They're they're pumped up, like, yeah, let's do this. And before after Did any of the parents call you and be like, what the hell are you doing? Taking my kid and trying to make me spend this. Everyone was stoked. They didn't they no one ever said anything about you know I can't read people's minds. That's pretty good. So everyone was stoked. But the thing is, they didn't tell you after you sign up for it, you have to do a uh 15 stay 15-day stay in Orlando or uh in Disney because this this was held in Disney on Disney's uh grounds. So you had to you had to compile whatever you could with your team, any parents or any families had a day had to do a 15-day stay to uh qualify for this as well. So for us, it was like 15 could combined from everybody's from everybody's staying. Two nights here, one night by the game. Exactly. So we were gonna we were gonna stay six days anyway, so there's six out of the fifteen. Oh, so uh we had to make another nine. How many football games did you play? We only played five. Okay. We'll get into that a little later. But uh so the we we came up with the six, and then I had to tell the rest of the families that you know we need some more days from other people to accommodate this 15-day stay. And uh it was easy to do. But the thing is, uh it is all a money scheme. And when you're in the moment and someone tells you you're invited to this, and the top six of every age group gets into the UAA or whatever the fuck it is, uh junior Olympics, you're you're just like you lose your mind and you're kind of just like, let's fucking do it. I might get in the Olympics with the kids. So no one's thinking about the actual cost and all this shit. So we just sign up and we we get started. And this is like four or five months before it even happens. So we already put the money in, there's no money back, you have to go. So um we we were uh we started practicing, we started practicing outside with the team, we started uh, you know, I started making making plays, getting our team ready, getting more kids because I felt that um if it was just the uh the six that we started with with our flag football team, that it wasn't enough. I feel like this is Florida, kids are gonna get hot and they're gonna get tired. So I wanted to get more kids involved. So I got a team of nine. So we got three other kids and everything was going great. We were practicing once a week. Uh winter came, so we needed to find somewhere to practice, which was terrible because the only place to practice was at um churches which require an insurance, and we could not. I mean, who has fucking insurance for a flight football team? So we had to pay for plays uh places to practice. And then after you couldn't have just used that uh social room at your apartment complex, just move all the furniture out to the sides and set up a couple plays. I mean, six six three out of three practice, just get there to talk, you know. Isn't your apartment over two thousand feet? Yeah, and it actually is thirty feet tall. But yeah, you could practice punting, it's like volleyball. It's like you you can't you can't throw football. Interesting. Okay so we got all the shit ready, we're ready

Travel Anxiety And Plane Fear

9:58

to go. All right. So the time comes, and there's a week left to uh before we leave for Florida, and I'm freaking out, man. I'm I'm like, I don't know what it is. It's I have anxiety. I have you know, I have terrible anxiety. So I was freaking out getting on the plane. Not only for like being a coach for a flag football team in the world championship, but also for like how I said the words not only for that, but like for just like just being these young men onto championships inside of the world football tag football championship league. Not only that, but like just for getting on a plane. And I fucking hate planes, I hate them. I took a plane to uh well uh the worst plane trip I ever took was when I went to my honeymoon, and the fucking turbulence was in Spain. When the plane crashes, there's like a 90-95% chance you're gonna die anyway. I don't like those chances. That's good chance. I'd rather drive and have a like what's the chances of getting an active having seven days in a car with my family? That's so much more convenient. Well, to get to Orlando, that would only take like two hours and ten minutes. Where do you get it would take 22 hours? Where do you get homemade snacks and potato fries when you're on the road? Well, some of the families do not stay in Disney and they drove. So you had pores. What? What I would have drove. Fuck that. Not a chance. I don't think it's that bad. Driving's not that bad. It's terrible. So, okay, so uh plane rides

Disney Sports Complex Arrival

11:48

over. We're in Disney. We're in the um ESPN Disney's fucking The Thunderdome? I don't know what it is. It's ESPN. Is this aired on the Ocho? No, no, we were in the ESPN or not ESPN. We were in the Disney's sports fucking arena fucking hotel area. So everything was like it was either uh there was one section of hotel rooms that were footballs, giant footballs, one were fucking tennis, one was one was uh uh another sport, another sport. So we were in the the tennis one for some reason. I don't know. It was a cheaper one. So we got there on Wednesday, the first games were Thursday. So the rest of the team, we I mean, everyone else is somewhere else. So we had to meet up. Uh actually the first day I had to get everyone's flags, everyone's credentials, and I had to take an Uber ride to the actual place that we were playing, which was uh off Disney's resort, but still kind of close. So I did take an Uber ride to get it. So they made you stay at Disney and this shit wasn't even at Disney? Yeah, yeah. But we still got free shuttle rides to the games when the games were being taken place. But the day before I had to take a pot or uh an Uber ride.

Rules Shock And First Day Games

13:16

Okay. So the day of the games, there's four games the first the first day. And uh this this however you do in these four games um depicts your seating for the championship on Saturday. So our first game, we have we've never played flag football out of the state. These kids, most of the kids are from Florida, obviously, because I mean they live, it's in Florida, it's easier to get there, blah blah blah. So I mean, the first game sounds like you're leading us into you guys had your first loss. So the first game, uh it was like a roller coaster from hell. We had no idea how so there's rules to flag football, and every rule to flag football is different in every state. It's fucking weird. There's different rules for lateraling, uh, for who can you know get the ball. There's there's I mean kickoffs, there's no kickoffs sometimes. So anyway, the first game we started the we started it off, the kids just we just so they they they throw the ball, so a kickoff in football, they kick it off, right? And this they throw it off on the five-yard line. And every one of these kids could throw it 70 fucking yards. So if you do not get the ball within the field, you get it at the five-yard line. All of my kids could only throw the ball 40 or 50 yards. So when they got the ball, they could actually catch it and return it. And then our kids couldn't pull flags, and then the kids would almost get a touchdown every time. So when they threw the ball off, we were always starting at the five-yard line. So we started the five-yard line for the first game, and we got crushed the first game. The kids were doing some crazy laterals, they were fucking they were blitzing, they were they were they were intercepting, they were pick sixing, they were playing good football. Well, flag football. Because in flag football it is totally different than anything else. Because like these kids were dropping to their almost to their knees before the knees touch the ground, because if your knees touch the ground, you're down. They would drop to the ground before their knees touch so that you can't grab their flag and jump back up in the air and drop back down to the ground before the knees touch. So they would be doing these crazy aerobatic fucking gymnastic fucking moves to knock. No, like I'm like, what the fuck are these kids? What are these kids? They're kids who play professional flag football. And not to mention, not to mention who go to world championships. Not to mention, when I first got there off the plane, I saw all these kids uh just just I knew they were playing football. And I'd be like, I'd walk up to some kids and I'm like I'd ask them, I'm like, are you guys in the world? Are you playing with the the uh the flag football championship thing? Yeah, yeah. These kids are like 6'2, 6'3, and I'm like, they're probably like 17 U, 16 U, maybe. I was like, well, uh, what age group are you guys in? 13U. Like, what? You're in you're in box. These are the professional kids that are coming across the country to come play in the world championship. Six, two, six fucking three. You what'd you guys have on the sidelines for desserts or for for uh snacks at halftime desserts? You don't do that. If you do that, you will get banned from the world championship. You there's no snacks after the game or before. Not even a cutie orange? No. No. Damn. Okay, so did you get to wear ones that are all fucking hopped up on growth hormone? Did you get to wear a headset? No, you're not allowed to talk to any players. As a coach? Uh, as far as communicating through uh any type of uh electronics. Well, you can stand on the sideline and yellow get your fucking ass in gear. So you're on the sidelines yelling out plays, but you cannot uh electronically communicate. Wow, not allowed you to do that. So were they using all these complex codes for their plays too? Like and you guys are. I never heard that other I'm I'm so focused on what I'm doing, calling plays, getting kids subbed in, subbed out, that I have no idea what the other culture is doing. But he didn't have to do much. I don't think he did. I don't think he did most of the time. And like these kids were like after the first two games, they're f they were flabbergasted about see. I remember, yeah, I remember when I played flag football, it was like in grade school, I think, maybe yeah, grade school. And there was always like the three or four kids who were really, really athletic who were just way better than everyone else, and they were just the quarterbacks and they would just run or pass for touchdowns every play. Yeah. But I remember like uh there, yeah, there was always just a couple kids. So I imagine the ones that are in the world championships are the ones that are like the state, then like they're like, oh, all of these kids from Louisiana all go and play on this team for state. Not like the team from home, it's like a new team. Well, yeah, the all-star team. Well, most teams were from Florida because they were so close, they could get into the fucking thing so easy. And play year-round outside. Yeah, and put in practice year-round outside. And the other teams were uh, yeah, I'm I'm assuming that what you just said was probably what it was. There was teams from Mexico, the hall from all-stars. From Canada. From there was people speaking different fucking language. I didn't understand. I didn't know. So, did you guys how many games did you win in the first day of the four games?

Championship Bracket And Quick Exit

19:21

So we played four games on the first day. Two of the first games we lost by a touchdown or two. The third game, we won by one touchdown. And the fourth game, we got Were you playing Canada? On which game? When you won. No, it was Mexican team. You beat the Mexicans? Yes, we did. Probably too busy looking for ice. They just they just know soccer better. If we played soccer against them, they would have destroyed us. No, in the f in the last game, we got our asses kicked. We couldn't even we couldn't even score. We couldn't do anything. So uh it was uh one win, four uh three losses for the first day. And then we got a day off on Friday, and then our championship was Saturday. And that's when they figured out our um where we were placed in the uh the group group stages. So uh we were yeah, we we were on a we played another team. So you can see the stats through the app. You can see everyone's losses, wins, scores, how much how many points they got uh scored on or against or uh for or against. And we played a team. Our our first championship game was uh against a team that was pretty much exactly the same stats we had. They had one win, they had the same points for and against. And uh we we they I mean this fucking these kids were fucking giants again. They were from uh shit. I think they were from Tennessee or something, and these kids were giant, they were throwing the ball out of the end zone for uh kickoffs, couldn't do anything in the beginning, the end, got pick sixes, interceptions, and we lost by two touchdowns. We still got a touchdown, but we lost by two, and then we're done. It was over, it was over on Saturday, we were done. So, how much of the prize money did you guys get to split? Prize money. There's no prize. I thought you guys paid into like a like a like a like a tournament where uh there's prize money you made to championship. So as far as championship Saturday, dude. As far as kids and coaches go as

Coaching Choices And Sideline Conflict

21:40

far as kids and coaches go, I had uh two coaches by my side. I had my dad, which he he just helped out. He didn't really shave, I heard. He's teaching football. He didn't really care, he just wanted he said, Fuck it, I'll just help you out because no one else is gonna, no one else is going to. And the quarterback coach, the quarterback's dad, excuse me, uh helped coach out as well. And he I had problems with him before and we had problems there too. I don't want to talk about you find a kid to not let play like your kid had to on the other football team? I because it's a bench player. I give every I want to and I I try to give every kid equal play time. I don't I don't I don't discriminate. I don't even at the world championships? No, I don't care. Don't you think that's why you ended up one in four? You're only as good as your one in five. You're only as good as your worst player. Not if he just rides the pine the whole time he doesn't play. Then you're just as good as your second worst kid. True true true true true. So uh we we finished the game we were done game's over we're well that sucks. Were the kids at least good sports everyone had fun or what? Everyone had fun yeah kids weren't great sports no they they're freaking out the last game throwing shit around screaming swearing but you know what whatever you know it I I did not have high hopes going to the into this at all. Obviously they did but I knew what we were up against. And I knew then why'd you even put them kids through that gotta teach them a lesson Tony. You gotta you gotta show them that they're not the best you might be undefeated in the rural Milwaukee for fight we were undefeated in uh fucking uh what's Brookfield and you go to fucking world whatever this isn't the county fair this is the world's fairly you get your ass killed and we I mean we didn't really get our asses wiped except for one game and the actual the the the fourth team that okay so let me break this down first two the first team we played when I told you that like it was like unpredictable the shit that they did they won last year they were the champions of last year and then the fourth team we played the first day so the first team the first team we played the first day they were the champions of last year. The fourth team we played the first day they won the whole thing too this year. So we played the champions of last year and this year.

Disney Starts With Lightsabers

24:21

You got put in the wrong division exactly but it didn't matter it doesn't matter you you have to win it doesn't matter when it comes down to what bracket you're in at the end you still have to win okay so now you're done with the tournament I want to hear about your rest of your four days in Disney three days we were done with that so I was like fine we're done with that my anxiety's done let's go fucking Disney you send all the pores home in their cars and their Chevy chalets everyone's gone yeah you better start driving well's on Monday and it's Sunday so get moving uh we uh do you like Disney do you have a good time with Mickey Mouse we we had two days planned of Disney and I was looking forward to that there was a lot of fun stuff involved splash mountain uh and I'd never been to Disney in my life I I never been to any of them and the first one we went to was the you Hollywood Hollywood is that what it's called Hollywood Studios that's my favorite of all Disney the Star Wars and uh what else is there? Did you go to Light Saber Storyland in there? Yeah yeah yeah so the kids wanted to do the build the lightsaber Tony do you know about this yeah I think uh yeah I I mean my kids never seen Star Wars nor have I so that was not on our bucket list for Disney but a lot of my friends that have gone they've ponied up to like 400 bucks to do it. So yes this is not cheap build your own lightsaber at the whatever fucking builder's shop it's called it is 300 almost three it's like 280 whatever dollars a person to build a lightsaber yikes tax is about 300 yikes every one of my kids wanted to do it even the adult one yes that's nine hundred dollars drop in the bucket to build lightsabers and I think for for that core 32 minute memory worth it every time 32 what the fuck 32 you talking about that was like a five minute fucking build every kid wanted to do it so you know me I can't say no we all fucking did it you're over you did it too you're over there selling bitcoin trying to get the money yeah you guys take Bitcoin or Doge uh every kid did it and we walked in there and it was like a five minute ordeal of this guy uh acting about oh my god this lightsaber's been giving down from you from the the whatever you know I don't even know how to man there's gotta be a story behind everything it was a weird fucking story and I was just weirded out the whole time yeah did you walk through the little the little room where you uh meet the characters no no no I don't uh that part was probably free it was it was actually yeah there's like a Star Wars building and uh for some reason we ended up there uh two different times that we've been to Disney and uh you wait in line you get to there's like a little fucking I don't know what they are the little robots from Star Wars and you go meet them and they're fucking talking you know there's somebody talking and it's going through this little like voice thing and then you go meet uh Chewbacca and I don't know there was somebody else I didn't get that experience. Yeah it was pretty cool because the kids liked it yeah what the fuck yeah one of the only free things there. What the fuck? It's the only reason we did it twice. Well that's bullshit damn didn't get that free experience but I did get the the $900 lights light spirit light lights lightsaber they don't let building experience or they don't let you take them home on the plane three lightsabers uh how many of them are still intact oh the the they take care of them oh they're priced possessions yes I didn't think you'd be able to take them back on the plane because they're a weapon so if someone opened it up and shot through the window so the hilt the hilt the hilt and the the saber part you can take apart and the hilt you put into a checked bag and then the the saber part it comes in a bag and you just take it on the on the plane. Anyway so uh yeah it was like a fucking five minute ordeal of putting a lightsaber together all the kids were they were excited about it kind of I think you get these little crystal things that changes the color of the blade blah blah blah and uh I the first time at Disney I'm like fuck it this Scott build one so this is what happened uh he bragged uh his his his grandson which he takes care of yeah and he said no he didn't want to do it at first but then when the kids my my kids started doing it he started freaking out and crying like screaming on the side and then my dad's like fuck it fuck I'll do it then like scream it screaming at him so after we got done doing it yeah he he paid for another thing so I did we had a way for him to yeah he went to wait four extra minutes for Papa Scott yeah yeah yeah yeah so he so what was one of them because I imagine they're all a little different is there one of them that's like stand out cooler than everybody else's so there's four different things you can choose from like elements fucking light dark uh and all this shit most of the kids uh two of my kids picked the dark side and one one of my one of my kids picked like element thing that was like a golden silver type blade but the other kids picked like dark like black silver like red blades and just want to kill you type shit so no none of them are very cool no I mean they're they're pretty cool they're they're made of metal I mean I didn't I didn't have a problem with them and then it's kind of funny like they try to act out this shit about like at the end of it they're like don't take these lightsabers around in the Disney uh place because they're illegal you'll get in trouble and then you're so they give you a bag for it too and then you put it around your shoulder carry it around and then you walk around and you see some uh some guy working there that works for uh the Stowers area and they're like that's illegal you can't have that here like pointing at you and then just walk by and like every like 15 or 20 minutes you'll see a guy again you can't have that that's illegal you can't have can't have lightsabers in they're trying to make the fucking the shit real I don't fucking know oh because only a Jedi is supposed to have a I don't I it's illegal to have a lightsaber it's illegal in Disney weird it's weird it's kind of weird but at the same time the kids liked it they pulled a lightsaber out and then like smacked him in the face I should have like you stab him in the dick. It's pretty crazy.

3D Rides And Motion Sickness

31:38

But the second day was uh the uh what's the what's the Magic Kingdom yes how'd you know where I was those are the two okay so that one was fucking Animal Kingdom was my favorite uh Epcot is fucking lame uh Magic Kingdom is great for for kids like 12 and under it's like the best one of the one with the princess in the parades that's that's magic and then that's the one I went to Hollywood Studios is is kind of I think the best all around and then they got the the the fifth property is like the the mall thing. The Magic Kingdom was fucking retarded bro did you guys stay at night and see what they do with that fucking castle at night it's legit no there's a parade it it's one of these amazing things I saw when I was like 23 years old I saw the parade they light it all up and shit so that 3D characters come out of the windows. It's it's like 20 years ago it's like uh it's gotta be some kind of projector that makes the thing look like a fucking hologram and they change like the building looks like it's changing in front of your face it's like they black parts of it out and make it look like different buildings and uh it's all different colors and they're fucking like the dude it's pretty rad. I don't know did you ride It's a small world I didn't do any of the rides so uh uh I was gonna say too at the um Hollywood studios you didn't throw a helmet on the kid and get the fast pass no because at the Hollywood studios we well when you stay in the the uh rooms in Disney you you're allowed to go in there a half hour hour early so you we got all the rides the the most popular rides right away out of out of the way there was all the Star Wars Star Wars rides so the first one was fine it was like the the thing where you're in this this this uh cart uh car thing and it drives around and then the the other two were fucking 3D things and almost everything's a 3D ride I fucking the first 3D ride dude I almost vomited I can't handle that shit that makes me dizzy makes me want to vomit I what is 3D man I told me do you put glasses on or you don't sometimes they're not glasses. Yeah it's it's not even glasses most of the time the first one what is it the first one we went into was like a fucking uh cargo ship thing where you sit into a but what makes it 3D like everything in the room right now is 3D I'll show you when you're sitting what the fuck are you guys talking about they're 4D bro okay when you're sitting in the seat at you too you sit in this fucking seat and it electronically moves around to the picture the the the movie in front of you and you're like driving this fucking thing and you're you're hitting the bombs and make making it steer around these little obstacles and they're like you're the pilot you're the shooter you're this you're that like fine okay I almost vomited on that one and then when then we went to the next one it was like uh Star Wars visit thing or whatever it was called Star Wars tours Star Wars tours it was okay I was like good this is not a 3D thing I'm gonna fucking sit on the this thing and just watch this shit go around what do you mean I sat in this room with these glasses and I'm like fuck this is not a 3D thing I sat in this entire room this entire fucking uh uh there was like 40 people here we sit in this room like no way this is gonna move there's no way this entire room is gonna move and it started fucking shaking and then like every fucking thing that happened like I had to close my I closed my eyes the entire time because I thought I was gonna vomit again. Sounds like a good I'm like I'm done time and money I'm sweating my palms are fucking sweating my head is sweating I'm gonna pass out no more rides for me and I was done I didn't go in another ride again the whole Disney trip. Damn I'm gonna tell you the only ride out of all them parks that I actually liked was in Universal Studios and it was the Harry Potter ride it is it's fucking life changing. Like I'm not fucking down with these rides. Is it 3D? I don't want 3D why do you keep saying 3D because it makes you dizzy and you fucking hate it. They give you glasses most of the time basically the the main focus of the ride is a screen instead of like a roller coaster. The whole ride is a screen. So you just sit there like those VR little things that used to be a theme park that you just sat in it. Chris Chris if you close your eyes you just feel like bumping and jolting. You don't see the screen so you're like that's what that's the only reason I is that 3D that is only the only reason I got the call yeah it's like 4D because there's wind blowing four dimension what does that mean there's wind blowing on you and sometimes they missed you with something and then there's a screen terrible so it's like an odd in the moon reality. Yeah okay okay that makes more sense so the wildest I don't understand 3D is this Harry Potter ride. Now if you want I'll tell you the tell this story because it was kind of a great little story.

The Harry Potter Ride Poop Story

37:16

But uh so we went there when Chase was about seven maybe maybe eight I don't know and Chase is was and probably always will be slightly slightly afraid of rides he'll he'll go on he'll go on he'll go on most things that aren't a roller coaster. Like his too like 3D rides he'll go on all of those so we roll up to this Harry Potter we don't me and the kid don't know shit about Harry Potter. We've never seen a fucking movie we don't know what it is I thought it was about gardening I have no idea so we roll up to the line and it's this fucking castle like it is a 15 story castle and we're like I I don't know what the fuck this is or whatever. So Chase goes up to the guy who's Dumbledore so the guy goes up to the uh Chase goes up to the guy who works there and he goes is this ride scary and the guy goes no this ride's the best and he's like does it go upside down and the guy's like no it doesn't and he's like what do you do on it? He's like I can't even explain it okay he's like it's amazing and he goes the guy goes I would go on this ride a hundred times a day if they let me and uh Chase goes I don't know and the kid goes I didn't sell him on it and the kid goes I'll tell you what because there it was like a two hour wait to get onto it maybe more Christ and the guy goes I'll tell you what and he goes on his little walkie talk and he's like hey Jonathan come up to the entrance here so this dude fucking pops out of nowhere comes to the entrance and he goes I'm gonna take this kid on this ride he goes here kid follow me and we went through the exit right and we're going through this exit it's like a half mile walk through this fucking castle you're going through it it's fucking crazy like it's 40 feet ceilings and it's all these huge pictures on the wall of all these characters and they're all like they're their faces are moving how did you kid plug into this just by being inquisitive just by being inquisitive and obscure so this dude takes us up you know up the up the exit and we go up and we skip the whole fucking line. Just you two me him and the kid who works there. And the kid who's working there is gonna ride with us and we get up there and we get we get up to the part where you start shuffling into the little cattle gates and uh we're one line becomes nine or whatever. Yeah we skip we skip uh we skip this family who thinks they're getting on and we just fucking cut in front of them and we get into the little cattle gate and chase is like freaking out and he's like I don't want to do it and I'm like it's too late and uh I grab his hand and we're walking and so this thing never stops it keeps moving. So there's this point you get on this fucking uh conveyor belt that's moving the same pace as yeah yeah as these carts. Yeah so you go you walk on you get walk onto the conveyor belt you turn around and you sit on this hanging chair and we sit we are walking the eight steps from the corral to the ride to get onto the conveyor belt and Chase go he looks at me and we're walking I'm holding his hand I'm going to throw him on this on this seat so they can clasp us down and Chase goes I pooped in my pants and I was like nothing we can do about it now threw him on the ride flipped him in what we sit on this we sit on this ride and he shit himself scared himself scared getting onto this ride. He was probably more scared to tell you he wasn't gonna go than he was of the actual ride brother I can't even fucking explain this but you you get on this thing and it's moving sideways right how could you do that to your son it this thing's moving sideways and you get on they fucking strap you in and then you get to the end of the conveyor straps you in in the big poof of poof smell and pops into the air and the three or four carts that you're on changes direction it moves forward and then it tilts so you're flying okay and and it is it is basically a roller coaster that you're hanging from and you're on your quidditch broomstick I I don't know like but but the whole time you're going you're basically in a tunnel of IMAX theater sweet so you're going through this there's wind blowing on you there's like dragons popping out and there's this little fucking dorky kid with these John Lennon glasses and he's flying next to you while you're going and talking to you it's it is the fucking craziest thing I've ever been on. It was absolutely it was worth the two and a half hours of wait we didn't have to we walked right up the back so we get off we get off this ride and uh you guys smell like shit Chase was like that was amazing and I'm like yep we get off we go find Michelle Michelle at the time so Chase was seven because Michelle was pregnant with Logan so Michelle's sitting outside waiting for us and I said Michelle that was the most amazing thing I ever been on the kids your kid shit in pants you go take care of that I'm gonna go back on the ride and I got right back in line I went on it one more time by myself and uh it was like the best day of my life. Really? Yeah you get sat next to some other nine year old kids I didn't give a fuck he shit himself too I don't even care. Were these double seats situation I think they were they were either three or four. I I want to say they were three did the guy say anything about the smell of kid no he didn't the kid shit like just a little I don't know I sharted his mother so I don't know if it was just a little squeeze out or if there were Actual like pellets. Did she keep the underpants in her purse or throw them away? That's what I want to know. Do they they do that a lot? I think he freeballed the rest of the time we were there. So she threw them away. A lot of the rides in Disney they do the same thing. They have a conveyor belt to get on to the where you sit to keep up with the ride to smooth it out to make it like faster for everyone to get on. Yeah.

Losing The Quarterback After Florida

44:24

So to uh to to end my story, which isn't a happy ending. Well, you guys lost the tournament. All my parents are pissed because they're broke. Driving home Sunday night to go to work Monday morning. Because they had to get down there Wednesday night to use your stupid Disney's days. And they stayed at the holiday ends the rest of the week. Well, I didn't think about that way, so thank you, Chris. No, but well, I I was there from Wednesday to Wednesday, so I had two other two uh three fucking three more fucking days to to think about the the losses and shit. And the uh the father that I was I was coaching with is the father of the the quarterback. Yeah, who obviously pulled this kid out of your organization. He texts me, he texts me when I'm in still in Florida. He's like I'm gonna have to uh I'm sorry, I no disrespect, but I'm gonna have to uh mm I'm take my kid and I need he needs he needs change, he needs a new team. It's not he needs him, he needs a new coach, he need he needs to be in a new organization all altogether. So Did you say fine? He's cut. You caught him? Did you cut him? I'm like, okay. I'm like, I'm a dad. He now plays for Tennessee Tac. I'm a dad helping my son out, coaching his team just to have fun. Well, I mean, what the fuck do you think this is? Fucking the junior Olympics right now? I mean it was world champs. It could have been if there was a little bit better coaching happening. So the the worst part about it was is like he uh my son and the quarterback, his son, are like great friends, and now they don't talk. Yeah. Because they're on different teams. Were now I I don't know I don't know what's going on. Yeah, so it was Damn. What an asshole, that guy. I know it was so you came home with no money and one less QB. So who's gonna be your QB next year? Now Jay, that's why Jay's clean shaven. I'm gonna stand in the U13. I think I still have to try out for that though. I don't think I'm I don't think I just walk in there and throw the I can't even throw a spiral, man. Get the fuck out of here. You could probably get it out of the back of the end zone, though. On the kickoff. You'd be the kickoff guy. No, I still don't think I could do that either. I don't I don't think I

Closing Thoughts On Disney And Losses

47:08

do either. But hey, uh I I appreciate you guys listening to my fucking Disney story. I'm glad you guys take a trip, man. It sounds like overall it was a good time. This is the first vacation in fucking five years. Since Sanibel has been destroyed by the city. Sanibel got destroyed. Jay hasn't hunted a shark. Don't worry, man. One day your kid will be talking about this to his therapist. And I'll tell you what, I would not recommend Disney to anyone because it sucks. I I really think it sucks. I don't like it. I could just see him now sitting on the couch going, There's this one time my dad made me go all the way to Florida to get my ass bad. Whooped. Well, you know what? It's not only him that lost. Everyone lost. Thank you guys. Appreciate it. See you next time.