Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Airbnb Dreams, Baseboard Weeds, And A Turtle Named Maybe
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We trade raw stories about first apartments, eviction scares, and the grind of growing up too soon. From moldy rice and baseboard weeds to party-house logistics and Airbnb math, the road from chaos to competence gets real, fast.
• escaping strict childhood rules for shaky independence
• living on restaurant leftovers and broken utilities
• cops at the door and lease lessons learned
• eviction, anger, and the cost of bad decisions
• dorms to full house parties and basement damage
• tiny first home at 19 and rapid resales
• three rentals in a year while building
• build-new patience versus old-home bones
• short-term rental strategy, insurance, and pricing
• the launch delay of modern teens and parental enabling
Thanks for listening. Top shelf stories. Listen everywhere. Tell your friends. We appreciate you. We know you're listening. We see you.
Opening Banter And Setup
SPEAKER_03Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony.
SPEAKER_02Gentlemen, gentlemen, and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_00Good intro.
First Moves Out And Childhood Constraints
SPEAKER_02What's up, guys? Hey, what's up, man? Uh, I'm your host, Jay. He's making me like Jay. Here, here, here always with with Tony and Chris, and uh, or bringing a new story, your your your earlobes. And um, I actually uh I did wanted to say, I wanted to say, uh, do you guys remember the when you moved out? What how old you were?
SPEAKER_03Out of the house for the first time?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, when you moved out of your house. I mean, not away from your wife, but like just your your your family. Your mom and dad. See, yeah, yeah. Okay. I do. So I moved out when I was 17. I moved out because I had a troubling childhood.
SPEAKER_00Doesn't sound voluntary.
SPEAKER_02I had a troubling childhood. I was a Jehovah's Witness. I had to get away from that shit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you were like, I need Christmas.
SPEAKER_02I I wanted to put up Christmas trees so bad. I used to go to my grandparents' house and I used to see theirs and I got jealous.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna guess though.
SPEAKER_02Well, your mom made you sit in the library. Well, that was during school. You know, and nowadays that's bullshit because nowadays parties can't be called Christmas parties, they can't be called Halloween parties.
SPEAKER_03They they're not, but most people don't, yeah.
SPEAKER_02They're not, they're called uh winter parties, uh fall parties, and I probably could have taken part in those.
SPEAKER_03I don't go to winter parties. What the hell is that? I don't know. Holiday parties is what they do in school. I'm okay with the inclusion of all holidays. You don't just have a winter party. No one likes the winter.
SPEAKER_02No shit. And the only kids like it for the fucking week, two weeks off.
SPEAKER_03So I'm gonna guess though, when you moved out, you moved out with your brother. No, no, did you move out before your brother?
The $550 One-Bedroom And Bike Commute
SPEAKER_02Yeah, uh well, here's the thing: my brother moved out, but he didn't move out into his own place. He moved out to my grandparents to my grandparents' place. Okay. Grandparents' house. So I moved out with my friend who was 18 because obviously they would not rent to a 17-year-old. And uh I was not on the lease or could not get on a it I couldn't get anywhere, obviously. So he had to get the place, and then I play I paid half the rent to live with him. What was it? I want to know what it was exactly. What what do you mean? Like where it was on 83rd in Oklahoma.
SPEAKER_03So it was in West Dallas as a duplex or something.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, it was studio uh apartment. So basically the kitchen I was in the Morgan Hills or whatever.
SPEAKER_03How do you know that? It was in the hills.
SPEAKER_02I th no, no, not the fucking giant uh the Morgan Oaks or whatever it's called now.
SPEAKER_03It's used to be called the Hills.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's not I know you're talking about it's not that. This was a four um four-family house place that we just found some some dudes.
SPEAKER_03Did you have a miniature stove or a full-size stove?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I was I don't think we even had a stove. Okay, we had to buy our own and plug it in. We had a a fridge that barely worked. The kitchen was basically the living room. There was one bedroom and a and a just a tiny bathroom. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, dude. And how much was your rent?
SPEAKER_02You're making me think. I think rent was like 500.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02550.
SPEAKER_03Not each total.
SPEAKER_02No, altogether.
SPEAKER_03You only had no bedroom.
SPEAKER_02No, there was one bedroom. It was one bedroom. One bedroom. And then it was a kitchen, living room, dining room, all in one spot. So this was basically a 400, 500 square, maybe not even 400 square foot fucking place. And it was a four four uh family like house, like giant, not house, but I don't know. I don't know what you call it. A fucking ghetto shit. Um, but I moved out with him, and yeah, I was still working at the Kidob, and I didn't have a car. Did you still have an allowance though? Were you still getting the house? Yeah. I didn't I didn't have a car, so I had to take my bike from 83rd to 108th Street. So do the math. Like a mile and a quarter? I had to fucking leave an hour early for work. How slow do you pedal, bro? I don't know. Did it have square tires? I didn't have a great bike. I didn't have the best. I didn't have a fucking 10-speed.
Surviving On Qdoba And Broken Appliances
SPEAKER_03I had a fucking There was one summer I lived in my ma's basement or spare room when I was in between things. And I had to ride my bike from 102nd in Greenfield to like 190th in Cleveland. That's right. 170th in Cleveland or something. I took the fucking bike trail. That's fucking far. It was far. I got fired one day and it was fucking raining out. Or the guy got sent home early and then fired. He sent me home early and I'm like, you're gonna fucking send me home early when all these other fuckers are here. I gotta ride my bike in the fucking rain. You could have told me I wasn't gonna work today. Then he fired me. Bitch. I had to ride my bike home in the rain.
SPEAKER_02So what we lived off was Qdoba food.
SPEAKER_03Um that's why you can't eat it now.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. I bring I bring home giant fucking bags of rice, chicken, steak, and if we didn't eat, I mean, we had uh sounds awesome, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_03Like constantly having Qdoba in the fridge. Just tins and tins and bags and bags of it.
SPEAKER_00Well, at at certain points, I think the fridge were you taking it home like in bulk packaging? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like catering to his own giant bags. I imagined all the little like cardboard tins that the burrito bowls came in, half eaten with like a rolled up tortilla on top of it.
SPEAKER_02Well, it back then it was they didn't have all they didn't have the stuff they had now, so it didn't have those cardboard things.
SPEAKER_00It was a very different Q-Doba.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean it wrapped in a tin foil.
SPEAKER_03That was what you got.
SPEAKER_02That's it. And you just threw that shit in a bag. That was it. But you'd come to the point where the the fridge wasn't working properly, so the rice would be moldy. So you'd have to chop sections sections of the rice away to eat the the the the better parts. We didn't have anything else. Our toilet paper was those giant fucking commercial size rolls that I stole from Kudova.
SPEAKER_00I thought you were gonna say the tinfoil from Kdova. Dude, that would be like the butcher's paper.
SPEAKER_02The fucking landlord would come over. Why you clogging the fucking toilet? Why is this? Because we gotta use metal. I thought I thought you could flush tinfoil down the toilet. No, but I mean everything didn't work. And like, okay, so it didn't have central heating, it had the um metal baseboard? Yes, electric baseboard.
SPEAKER_00So like there'd be grass. Nothing says that that your house isn't supposed to be a rented out dwelling than a baseboard heater behind your couch.
SPEAKER_02Well, not only that, dude, there was grass and weeds growing out of the heaters. Uh for some reason, obviously it wasn't the foundation was fucked. So everything all the weeds and all this shit were growing into our apartment. So every time we turned the heat on, it's it it would free oxygen. It's it didn't really smell bad, but it was this is crazy. It was fucked up, it was it was terrible. So there's a um I only actually lived there for like eight months, and there was so many fucking crazy things.
SPEAKER_00Thank God you weren't on the lease.
SPEAKER_02I know exactly. There was a lot of crazy things that happened, and me not being on the lease was one of the best things. I'll tell you the story at the end why. But there was times where um a girl would uh there'd be a random chick knocking on our door because she got her ass kicked.
SPEAKER_00Trying to get free Qdoba.
Police Knocks And Lease Loopholes
SPEAKER_02Fuck out of here. She got her ass kicked by her boyfriend, she was all bloody and fucked up. And uh I mean there's uh I don't know.
SPEAKER_00There was so when you and your boy finished training on her, you guys were all cobbled.
SPEAKER_02No, no, and there'd be there'd be police officers coming to our place all the time knocking at our door, and that's when I learned you don't have to open the door for a police officer, and you can make as much noise as you want. You'd be like, I'm here, I'm not open to the door. They'd pound, and you know when a cop knocks on a door, it's not just one, two, three, it's they don't stop, dude. It's the most annoying thing in the world. I learned that at 17. They learned that at seven, they try to intimidate you, try to scare you.
SPEAKER_03I learned that earlier than 17.
SPEAKER_02Well, then you're house parties. Yeah. I don't remember that knocking, though. Oh yeah. I don't remember that crazy fucking knocking. So for a multitude of uh months, I've been giving my half of the rent to my friend.
SPEAKER_03You never paid the rent.
SPEAKER_02I gave him my half of the money to my friend to pay the rent. And we were living there for probably about okay, so another fun fact too is I didn't get a key. But the door didn't really it wasn't really a great door. So how I opened the door was I used credit card and just slipped it through the the knob or the locking mechanism part and just pushed the door open. Sure. So I never even got a key because they only gave us one. He's like, I'm getting the key. I signed the lease. I'm like, fine, whatever, don't lock the door then.
SPEAKER_00There's no way you guys had ace hardware spare key money. I wanted almost a dollar for him.
SPEAKER_03They say do not duplicate on it. What are you supposed to do?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what it was, or the fact that we didn't even fucking we're dumb at 17, we didn't even think of it. But yeah, they probably didn't have a dollar. They didn't even think of it.
SPEAKER_03The dollar was for beer, man. Didn't think of it. They're on their own. Get spaghetti for a dollar.
SPEAKER_02So basically, what I would do all day is just play video games, fucking work, come home, play video games. Just I didn't do much. I wasn't I can't believe you didn't smoke pot during this time. I don't know. I don't I I wasn't a I never was a perfect time to be. I was a drinker, man. I was a drinker. I'd fucking be drink playing my video games and drinking be the best time of my life. Fair. No one to bother me.
SPEAKER_00My mom not the other one Christmas. There's just over there all the holidays decorated at all times.
SPEAKER_02I'm telling my buddy, hey, are we putting up a Christmas tree or what? You ever hear this thing called Valentine's Day?
SPEAKER_03I don't know what this is like to put up a tree. Like, where do we get them?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, do you got a real one or do you want to get a fake one? You buy your friend a birthday card. Look at this. We can celebrate birthdays freely.
Unpaid Rent And Eviction Spiral
SPEAKER_02So um, yeah, after months of giving him rent, um the uh landlord started knocking on the door, and I I knew him from when uh we signed a lease because I was there. I don't know why I was there.
SPEAKER_03And you remember how you don't have to answer the door when people are knocking. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02And you he can't get in there either. No, can't come in. So uh same thing. I pretend like no one was home. Because I didn't know he wasn't paying the rent with my half. I just didn't want to even talk to him because I'm not actually supposed to be there.
SPEAKER_00I didn't sign a lease and we brought you to the lease signing and said you were I don't know why. It's my kid. Oh, this little guy? That's my kid.
SPEAKER_03He's yeah, the beard. Doctors don't know, but he's been growing here since the womb.
SPEAKER_02I think he just said it was my friend just chilling with me. He's hanging out. I don't know why I was fucking there.
SPEAKER_03Landlord don't care.
SPEAKER_02Maybe I thought I could sign a lease. Maybe I thought, hey, you're 17. There's there might be a rule I don't know about. Or, you know, it doesn't even matter. I'm just gonna come here and we were going around checking out places to live. Yeah. So I was with him for that. Uh this is the only place that would actually rent to us.
SPEAKER_00And boy, did he regret it.
SPEAKER_02Well, he didn't fucking pay the rent. Ever. I don't know about ever. I mean, there has to have been at least one or two months of paid. So uh long story short, after a lot of weird confrontations in the the place we lived because of all the you know the dumb shit that we've invited there and or participated in. Uh long story short, we got evicted. And I was fucking irate pissed off at my friend for not paying the rent and having to move back home.
SPEAKER_03Because you had nowhere else to go. Now that you have to like ask your parents if your friend can also live there.
Drunken Return And Apartment Vandalism
SPEAKER_02No, I just had to go back home. I was irate, pissed off that I had to leave and go go home. Uh, my other friend and I were like, fuck it. We were drunk one day at Summerfest. I was like, uh, let's go back to my uh old apartment because this was actually a couple days after we were evicted, broke in there. And uh we had a six pack of beer. Maybe it wasn't a good idea in hindsight, but we were pouring beer everywhere, pissing on the walls, you know, doing everything I could to to to taint the apartment, why and just because I was pissed at him for not paying rent. But again, this you know, it wasn't the landlord's fault. It was my friend's fault. But we were we f we were punching holes in the wall, uh kicking things over, fucking we didn't break any windows, thank God, but we fucked it up badly. And the uh the my my friend called me, I think like two three or three days later saying you need to get all your stuff on here because my stuff was still there. Again, I'm 17, I'm not thinking straight. I'm fucking peeing on my own shit. You know, I'm dumb. Uh I had to go there actually. The only thing I had was a fucking um fold-out couch thingy. So my dad and I went there original Nintendo. My dad and I went there just blinking the reset red light. My dad and I went there to pick up the couch, took it back to his van, and he's like, Did you sign anything? I was like, no. He's like, All right, let's get the fuck out of here. There was fucking holes like when I said we were drunk punching holes in the walls, I I was like underestimating what we actually did because I didn't even know every fucking wall had like three or four holes in it. Not only that, it stunk like shit. I don't think I shit in there, but it stunk like shit.
SPEAKER_03You're evil. It was you're lucky the statute of limitations is over.
SPEAKER_02My my hey, I gave that dude like thousands of dollars. Okay, maybe not thousands. I gave that dude like maybe over a thousand dollars, and he stole from me. So fuck him. He was there with his dad cleaning all this shit up, filling the holes, dude. All his shit. I just walked in.
SPEAKER_03So your buddy did get phone.
SPEAKER_02At this at the same time when I took the couch out, he was there with his dad doing all the fucking fixing shit.
SPEAKER_03So he wouldn't be like, let's fucking jet.
SPEAKER_02And my dad, my dad's like, You didn't sign anything, let's get the fuck out of here. And I was like, Sounds good to me. Why do we even come here with the couch? I don't even think you want it. It smells like piss. It was pissed on many times. So I moved out when I was 17 and then uh came back home eight months later, and after that, I didn't move out again until I was like uh I had a kid and I was like 23 or 24.
SPEAKER_03See, I uh I went to college for a year, and I got I lived in the dorms, so that was my first experience not at home, was in a dormitory room. Smart guy half the size of this room.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, where do you get all the money from? My parents said you have to pay for the room.
SPEAKER_03So my I had to pay half. My dad paid, I took a student loan out, and my dad and my par my mom and dad paid for I think it was first semester's tuition or something like that. So I did pay some of it, but they paid some of it. But it wasn't that expensive to live on campus like that. And that was alright. Did all things you do, and then after a year of college in Whitewater, I was like, this ain't for me. I can't afford this shit. I was driving home every weekend to work. I don't want to go into debt, but I do want to keep going to school. So I moved back home with my dad, lived in the basement, went to UWM for a semester. Then after the first semester, I was like, dude, I want to get into actual classes to be an architect. And they're like, well, you still have to take more Greek mythology in general education. So I'm like, well, I don't have that kind of money, so I can't do that. So I quit school. I was working, and then I eventually did get an apartment, or not an apartment, uh a first house. It was with my two friends, it was a full house on Murray Street, or was it Murray?
SPEAKER_02And you probably played dirt like nothing.
SPEAKER_03It was on the full house. God damn it, what street was on? I don't remember what street was on. It was there was a bar in the corner that had Thursday night, one dollar, ten dollar cover, one dollar pitchers, one dollar pizzas on Thursdays.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
Basement Chaos, Afterparties, And Cops
SPEAKER_03But it was right on the east side. It was fucking awesome, dude. Three it was three bedrooms, and we had a whole attic area, and it was a whole fucking house, driveway, no garage, I don't think. But like we moved in, it was really weird. There was someone just moving out, and he's like, Oh, I'm gonna come back for the rest of this stuff later. And like the basement, we weren't able to go in the basement at first. It was still being painted and stuff, it was a real sketchy, and it was cheap. It was like nine hundred bucks a month, so we're each paying three hundred bucks. Nine Cambridge, Cambridge Avenue. That's what it was. The landlord was fucking chill at first. We paid our like first month's rent and security and shit. We had fucking parties, dude. But the first the guy wasn't moving out. And then like we eventually went down in the basement after like a month and a half. And we found a turtle in a cage. There was bags of trash and everything everywhere. We cleaned all this shit out. Was the turtle alive? Yeah. We named him. I guess Carl? No. I don't remember the name of the turtle. But yes, we we brought it back to life and had it out. We had fucking parties, dude, at this house like crazy. I lived in the attic portion of the house. We had like a foosball table. What's the best place to be the attic? It was so awesome. We didn't have no maybe that wasn't my first. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was, I think. But yeah, man. Uh we we we lived there for quite a bit, and then uh we trashed the fuck out of the basement for sure. Like one night we had a party and people were throwing barrels through the walls of like the basement. Like, you know, like recreational basement area, like half-studded walls and shit. Gone. We had like after parties sometimes. We would hand out flyers at the rave and have the DJs play after parties at our house. It's pretty legit. One time we got busted by the cops there. We had a party with like five barrels, and the neighbor had a party with like four barrels of beer. And like both parties got busted out. But yeah, we didn't have no money, we didn't have no food. We were all working. And then I think after that, me and my other buddy moved out and were like, fuck that, and we got a really nice apartment.
SPEAKER_02If I tried to have a party at the place I lived at at seven at when I was 17, I'd fit eight people in there and be crowded.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, this was a huge house, dude. We could have we'd had hundreds of people in that place. It was crazy. I remember one time my dad came over, and it was like just a few months after I had lived at this place. I hadn't really been talking much to my parents at the time, so it was a big deal. And my brother was with them, and I was 20, 8, 19, or something, you know. And my brother's like 17 or whatever, and they come down and we're we're gonna go to lunch or something, or they just showed up, or I don't remember. But they sit in a living room, and there's just beer cans on every level surface, half drinking, pig pong balls here, fucking cigarette butts put out there, fucking ashtrays everywhere.
SPEAKER_00Just fucking condoms on every vertical surface. Fucking wrecked.
Upgrades, Cheap Rents, And The Ex-Bar Loft
SPEAKER_03Three dudes living different schedules, all having their friends over all the time. We're like the only kids that had the fucking house and all this other shit, you know. And my dad looks around, he's like, he's sitting on the couch. I can see it in my brain. He's sitting on the couch, and I'm standing there. He's like, Chris, I'm disappointed. I'm so disappointed. I'm like, oh, here it comes, you know. The drinking, the underage, like, what am I doing with my, you know? He goes, All these beer cans half full, like you're letting people just waste all this fucking beer. And I was like, Oh, thank God. But then uh yeah, then I had a really nice apartment for like a year. And again, we didn't have any furniture in it, we had no money. Maybe that was my first one. This is a really nice apartment I thought I could afford. It was twelve hundred dollars a month, me and my buddy, huge, awesome apartment by Brewers Point apartments. It was by Lakefront Brewery down on the east side. I don't know. But yeah, then I had like uh a couple other shitty apartments with a couple other guys, another guy that was pretty legit. It was a guy I met in college. This apartment was was legit. We had it was above what used to be a bar. So we had a nice two-bedroom apartment upstairs, all the little furnishings. It was only like 600 bucks a month. It's a nice little place, fucking sweet, actually. But then the downstairs used to be a bar. So it's just this big open area with tile floors, two bathrooms, and no bar in it anymore, no tables in it anymore, just a big open space, and then a basement, and we threw fucking parties like clockwork.
SPEAKER_02That sounds amazing.
SPEAKER_03That was really cool because that was when I think we were over 21 at that point. We were fucking we would throw parties in like phases, like we'd tell everyone the beer was gone and then shut it down and like bring like 10 people to the upstairs to like you can stay, you can stay, you can stay. Everyone would clear out and then we'd fucking bring them back, make new phone calls, charge again, get out to the Marquette and be like, the Marquette kids, here's the fucking party. It was awesome. Uh, but then yeah, failure in life. Ended up back at home, back in the parents' basement again. What year? Well, how old are you? I feel like I lived in my mom's and my dad's different times through early twenties. Then I think I got an apartment with a girl. And then I think I moved back home after that for a little while. And then uh moved out to McGuanego. And I lived with another friend of his, my uh mine and his girlfriend in a two-bedroom. I lived out there with them for like two years. Then uh Yeah, and then I don't know where I was living when I met my wife. Uh maybe with my brother downtown. Yeah, I was living with my brother downtown then. But I had to make it back home. Like, you can't make it your first fucking try.
SPEAKER_02No, yeah, no way. No, and and and again, that's crazy that you moved in with like I I thought like I'd be living with my brother at some point in my life, and I never did.
SPEAKER_03Those were one some of my favorite times because it's there's something different about a brother. Like, you're not worried about nothing with your brother.
SPEAKER_02Well, because you've already lived your fucking life with them. Whole life with them. And if you weren't rich and had your own room, you had to share a certain space with him as well. Yeah, and you you got to know his lifestyle, so you already knew what you're gonna move into with. I didn't know that when I moved in with this fucking guy, and he stole all the rent and he was a piece of sh. And I barely even saw him, literally, when I was 17. I barely even saw him. I didn't even know he fucking moved lived there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I lived with the guy I barely knew for a while too. Actually, now I think about it, was working at a restaurant and I moved in with him. I must have been living with my mom at the time or my dad, and then moved out and moved live with this guy in his apartment. And it was like that. We're like, this is fucking weird, man. I don't even fucking know you. We don't ever spend any time like doing shit together, we don't have mutual friends or nothing. It's so fucking weird. That is really weird. Uh, did you ever have that, Tony? Where you lived with someone you like barely knew?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Michelle, my wife. She's the only person I ever lived with.
Tony Buys Tiny House At 19
SPEAKER_03Oh man, it's that's such an experience to live with weird people.
SPEAKER_02How old were you when you when you moved in with lived with her?
SPEAKER_00Uh so my moving out of my parents' house journey was uh a little different than your guys's. So when I was 18 and a half, uh my mom bought her first house. Um house my my youngest brother lives in currently uh just a couple blocks away from Chris's house. I know the house.
SPEAKER_03I can never remember which house it is.
SPEAKER_00It's the one that has no garage. Doesn't really um but my mom bought her first house and uh uh I never moved into that house with her. It was too small for all three of us kids and her. So you never got to enjoy a house. So and I moved in with my uncle.
SPEAKER_03Not the fake uncle who did the mushroom thing for the last thing.
SPEAKER_00Not the fake uncle, a real uncle. Okay I moved in with him for about three, four months uh while I looked for a place.
SPEAKER_03Is your ma's brother?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And uh I ended up uh buying a house right before I turned 19. That's wow.
SPEAKER_03And uh we've heard this couple of the stories on some of the podcasts already about that house, too.
SPEAKER_00It's super tiny. It was all I could afford. It was uh um super tiny to you, I think is a normal house. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, what was it like five thousand square feet? No, it was uh just over six it was like six eighty.
SPEAKER_03That's pretty small.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, now now I won't rent a hotel room that small. Right. Um I think I paid sixty-eight thousand for it.
SPEAKER_03In the days you could afford a home.
SPEAKER_00And then uh I lived in that place for like two years with Michelle and we sold it uh to pretty much our our best friends. Is that the fuck house? What do you mean?
SPEAKER_02Like you guys fucked everywhere? Yeah, like stained the walls.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_02Did you have to repaint?
Year Of Three Rentals During Build
SPEAKER_00No. The walls were fucking glazed. I didn't didn't have to paint. It was a glossy tile. I just hosed them down and it re emulsified. God damn. Um we sold that house and then uh started construction on a new construction house af when we were about 22. And uh while that house was being built was the only time in my life I ever rented. I r we rented for about a year while we were building our house.
SPEAKER_03What kind of a place was that? Two places.
SPEAKER_00Uh it was split up between three places in that year. Uh we we moved into an apartment complex. Um I remember the street name. You had to move your shit in three years. Whitney three times.
SPEAKER_03Dude, I moved so many times. In one year. Yeah, I just remembered a stage, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00So we moved to Hale's Corners in this uh, I remember the street name was Cortez Circle. Um always on them cul de sacs, bro. No, it was uh all all complexes, uh buildings, you know, like like Jay's, but only shittier. Um and we signed a month-to-month lease because we didn't know how long we were gonna be there. I don't think they do this anymore. I moved into this apartment, this little one-bedroom apartment, and I could not fucking deal with having somebody above me and on each side of me. It was fucking crazy. Like I could not listen to the, you know, smell what they're cooking, fucking hear what they're doing, listen to their TV show. So we moved out of there and we moved out to McGuanegal. We may have lived in McGuanegal at the same time. Um, so I moved out to McGuanegal in a side-by-side um duplex, and we were in there for about two months, and the place got sold, and we we got asked to move out, move out because we didn't have a lease. Um because the owner was gonna occupy our side. So we only lived there for like three months, and then we moved to another place in Delafield, another side-by-side con uh not condo, side-by-side, you know, townhouse, and we lived there until our house was done. And that was my only experience with renting ever.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's a pretty bad experience if you have to move three times in one year.
SPEAKER_00But we had everything in in storage because we knew.
SPEAKER_02Wait, what you have to move something, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it was a couple boxes, a couch, and a bed, you know.
SPEAKER_02A couple boxes, yeah. So you guys can fit all of your clothing when we were a couple of things.
Moving Etiquette And The Cost Of Help
SPEAKER_03When we were 22, yeah. I've I used to not have much stuff either.
SPEAKER_02My kid is nine, he can't fit half of his clothes in a couple boxes. You got too much stuff for it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's your fault, not his.
SPEAKER_02No, that's your fault.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I remember yeah, man, moving out, man. All the shit I did, I man, I should have written this shit down. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02My my my sister and my uh brother-in-law are building a house now. My sister texts me, can you help us move February 7th?
SPEAKER_03I'm out of the moving game.
SPEAKER_02And I didn't respond for like four days, and my wife is like, uh, your sister is texting me warning why you're not responding to her.
SPEAKER_03I'm like, what you should just send her back a Venmo of 80 bucks and say, hire someone for my spot.
SPEAKER_02I just said, I don't know, I might have to work.
SPEAKER_03Send my excuse a check for everything. Venmo her a hundred bucks and say I don't do it anymore. Pizzas on me. Yeah, fuck that moving shit, dude. Hire a mover.
SPEAKER_02You just built up.
SPEAKER_03I've never hired movers. I'll probably ask people to help me move, but I'm not helping nobody. I've helped my I'll help family, family only.
SPEAKER_02Send me text, I might help you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, I doubt it. Okay, you haven't helped me enjoy any of things I've ever told you to come do that'll be fun. Why would you come move if you won't even do it for your sister? You're not moving. I'm not texting you to help me move since I only have so many little things.
SPEAKER_02Send me a DM on Facebook. Maybe I'll respond to that. Make sure it's my personal Facebook and not my business page. Yeah, it goes filtered.
SPEAKER_03I don't know about I think I want to move. I want to buy another house, yeah, and get it to fuck.
SPEAKER_02I think you should build a house, Chris. You have money for it. And I'm building. Oh, you that's right. Chris doesn't buy anything older or newer than uh 99.
SPEAKER_03Dude, it'll make anything like they used to.
SPEAKER_02He has to get a house older than 2000. If it's old, if it's newer than that, he knows that it's not built right. Or not sure. Built with the question with the right structure. It's questionable. He doesn't want things built with foam.
SPEAKER_03It's questionable builds.
SPEAKER_00They all are. There used to be there. Used to be uh um a builder around here. They were a Christian-based company that built miracles. Man, they built trash houses. And uh their claim to fame was they were building$139,000 miracle homes. And they were all styrofoam exterior. The siding was attached to styrofoam, and and their benefit to it, that their claim to the R rating? It boosted the R rating. You had the most efficient house on the market, and then the motherfuckers are blown over.
Build New Or Buy Old Debate
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I get I couldn't be patient enough, I don't think, for a home build. I like to move in. I want to move in. I don't want to do shit. My house, I didn't have to do anything. We painted a few things, ended up ripping the carpet out a few years later. Like, we didn't have to do anything. I'm not I'm not about it. Like, I'm worried I'm gonna have to do a roof pretty soon. And I'm like, I don't even want to have the roofers over, and they can do that shit in like a day. I couldn't imagine having like the kitchen remodeling. Do a kitchen remod. You've been through that shit. Oh yeah? I'm not doing a kitchen remodel. I want to reorganize the kitchen, I don't want to fucking deal with it shit. It's a lot of shit. Not about it. But I do realize that the house next to me is probably an Airbnb, and they're probably making hand over fist way better returns than I am living in my house. So I want to live in, I want to move to a smaller house or a same-size house in a different neighborhood nearby, and then rent my house as an Airbnb. Well, yeah, you're close to the bus line, so it probably Well, they have like the Pettit had all these speed skater trials at the Pettit recently, and dude, there was like 20 people living next door.
SPEAKER_00That's crazy for the weekend.
SPEAKER_03And then everything I read was about how it all sold out and all sold out. I bet you they rented it out for two grand a fucking weekend.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, probably.
SPEAKER_03Like any state fair weekend, state fair week, I could probably get two grand a night for my house in Airbnb.
SPEAKER_02Why don't you like go to the hotel then?
SPEAKER_03I'm thinking I want to buy another house to go live at and just have this be the Airbnb.
SPEAKER_02Mommy, for like state fair, just go to hotel.
SPEAKER_03I mean, what, to live somewhere else to make 60 bucks?
SPEAKER_02Wait, you just said how much are hotels now? No, no, what did you say again?
SPEAKER_03How much are hotels a night? I'm thinking 80. Where are you getting an$80 hotel? Motel 6. Taking your family to Motel Six for the weekend? Okay.
SPEAKER_02But if you're making money.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, in theory, what you're saying makes sense. Go live with your dad for a weekend. But then you get you when you start the Airbnb thing, you gotta be set up. You gotta like all your personal shit away and all that other stuff.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you get so it's not worth it.
SPEAKER_03You should live in the fucking house, it's not worth it.
SPEAKER_02There's also insurance involved because I've been in an insurance problem with an Airbnb that I rented. It wasn't my fault. Tony was there, turned out.
SPEAKER_03Hey, composite chair.
SPEAKER_02I put it back together though. After it was taken out of the fire.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, man, all these kids are gonna move out when they think they're 18 and ready to go. They're not ready to go. How many times do you think your kids are gonna move out?
SPEAKER_02I have no idea. I'm gonna tell you right now, the kids nowadays your kids living with yours at 19. Yeah, but the kids nowadays don't want to move out. They want to stay at home, want to play video games, and not do anything. Don't they work?
SPEAKER_03Don't they want money?
Airbnb Math And Neighborhood Demand
SPEAKER_02Yeah, my my son is almost 19. Uh he he works at Cousins, and I get him to work for me, and I can't wake him up half the time, and I'm not waiting for him because I'm already late. You know, at my Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I wouldn't want to work for my dad.
SPEAKER_02I I'm like, get up, get up. I tell him 20 times to get up, and I'm not gonna fucking drag him out of this fucking bed. So I leave and then I it just I'm it's dumb. It's dumb. If kids are spoiled, and I and it's it's my fault, my fault too, because I spoiled them. Yeah, I'm not saying it's not my fault.
SPEAKER_00It's only your fault.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's only my fault. But the thing about it is when do you grow up? At what age? I mean, I I can't make you grow up.
SPEAKER_03Tony grew up at 13 when he went deer hunting. I heard a story about it. Maybe you will hear a top shelf story.
SPEAKER_02I saw my first set of tits.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and see that on other top shelf stories.
SPEAKER_02You ever seen a you ever seen a tiny dick up? Pick up a quarter. Keep listening to three dots. Oh my god. I just said flashback. Whoops, top shelf. You'll fucking know it.
SPEAKER_00Alright, guys. I think this story's run its course.
SPEAKER_02Are you sure?
SPEAKER_00And it's time for me to go home. Okay, Tony.
SPEAKER_02I appreciate you guys coming. Thanks for listening. We always enjoy doing this shit, don't we? Yeah, yeah, it's a good time. Chris, lead us out. You're the best one at it.
SPEAKER_03Top shelf stories. Listen everywhere. Tell your friends. We appreciate you. We know you're listening. We see you.
unknownShh.
