Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Fantasy Football Feuds
Top shelf stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony. I'm going. Okay, I got it. I got it. Did you already turn on the microphones? Yeah, I did. My headphones aren't loud enough. Maybe they are. I just they're fine. Dude, every time I go home, my wife was like, What is all over you? I'm like, I was at the nastiest strip club you'll ever see instead of glitter that you say black fake leather.
SPEAKER_01:Leather.
SPEAKER_03:I was making out all night, honey. Sorry, with a fake cow.
SPEAKER_02:Synthetic cow. You totally lost me. I thought you were talking about the big thing.
SPEAKER_03:Dude, this black shit gets all over me from this place.
SPEAKER_01:We gotta bring my Asian furniture is actually pretty wild because what do you mean Asian furniture? Well, because you think it's leather. You think it's leather. When you buy it, they tell you it's leather. This is Menard's. But it's actually sprayed.
SPEAKER_02:So Tony's Tony has a couch in the podcast room and it's it's shedding. Spray it? It's shedding. Shut up. They don't spray it out.
SPEAKER_01:Sprayed it.
SPEAKER_02:Probably. It's not. And Tony's had sex on this thing how many times? Several. Today. So that's the reason why it's all you know grinded up. Because Tony's got some he's got some moves.
SPEAKER_03:Alright. Anyways, welcome to Top Shelf Stories, everybody. Today. I'm going to bring you in. I gotta go higher on the headphones, or I'm gonna keep yelling. God damn, I'm putting the back in the same spot you had. Alright, there it is. I had you. Today, I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna bring you in to the world of fantasy football. It's on everybody's mind right now. I like it. I have to do it. Everybody's talking about it. We all have varying ways of play here within this room. So I'm gonna start with Tony. Tony, I know the answer to this question. What's your experience and impression of people andor yourself playing fantasy football?
SPEAKER_01:So this is this is actually a a fun little story. Um so I currently am involved in a carpool type situation uh with my kid and three of his friends. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Just like for fun, no money.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they're all they're all involved in this, like, whatever. I don't know if it's club league or rec league or something, but some volleyball league, and they're the only four from their school that are on this team, and the practices are far away, and most of the parents in my area don't ever like to leave their zip code. So we all take turns driving all four kids, so um, so I had I had the two kids in the back, and they're 12 years old. And uh two of them were talking back and forth about the about their draft. And uh I go, what are you guys talking about? They said fantasy football. And I said, Oh, you guys are into gambling already? And uh they said, Well, it's not for money, it's just it's we're just in it. And and they're back there and they're making trades and listening to kids talk in their current like lingo they have. I don't know, is lingo the right word? Uh it's our word. But listen listening to them talk is so crazy. Like they're going through their trades and they're talking to the other two kids in the car, and you're like, I just finessed them, and uh, they just keep going back and forth like the amount of time and effort these kids put into fantasy football, I imagine it's the same time and effort uh the fucking adult dorks that do this.
SPEAKER_03:Forty fucking two years old, and I spend hours a week researching and looking at my fantasy football teams. But Tony, so you don't play fantasy football in any way. You don't do daily fantasy football, you don't I don't do anything. You don't wake up on Sunday, take your morning constitution while you flip through the greatest deal of the spread on this team and the other. Nothing. Nothing. But your kids are doing it now. You're hearing other kids at least.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Jay, what do you got? What's your game?
SPEAKER_02:So here's the thing. Five years ago, when someone said fantasy, like I'm uh I'm uh I'm sponsoring a fantasy football team or uh whatever. Um what's what's the word for managing one? Thank you. That's the word I was looking for. Managing a football team, a fantasy football team. I'm like, that may like what are you like somebody I should know?
SPEAKER_03:Like it seems like you thought they were actually involved in like the NFL in some fashion. You're asking for autographs.
SPEAKER_02:But there's there's a huge difference. So I uh now I'm I'm pretty much obsessed. I've watched this past week, the first week of NFL just started. Yeah, I watched every game. I have the NFL Pass, so I can watch every game.
SPEAKER_03:You just shut the family out, you put the cats back in their bedroom, bathroom thing, and you're like I'm watching football.
SPEAKER_02:But here's the thing. No, well, yeah, on Sunday, I'm watching football and I'm watching like every game. I have four games going at once. But when I I re-watch every single game. Okay. So I'm an NFL network prop uh program, I can watch every single game in 40 about 30 to 40 minutes because they take away, yeah, they take away all the you know in between everything. They just go from play to play to play. So it takes about six hours.
SPEAKER_03:And you're watching them to research players so that you can beat the odds makers on daily fantasy.
SPEAKER_02:The first year I tried it.
SPEAKER_03:You like to pick the teams, you like to pick players and create a squad and go head to head and/or against a group of people each week. Each week. So I do you like to do the prop, like pick six players, this guy's gonna score over five points, this guy's gonna score over sixty yards, or I tried prop betting with basketball and I just it wasn't always lost. So you like to pick a team on one of the gambling sites who won't sponsor us, so we won't say their names. But we're listening, if you're listening, we're accepting sponsorships by any of these gambling sites. You go on these sites and you'll pick a squad each week. You might pick a bunch of different squads, enter a bunch of different tournaments for varying amounts of money from 10 cents to$20 each each team.
SPEAKER_02:So I'll give you the I'll give you a little example of what I did first first week. So the first before I get into that, the first year I played fantasy football, I got into it. I made about 30 grand.
SPEAKER_03:But you did it that way. You didn't play fantasy football the way I'm thinking about it, which I'll tell about is where you pick a team for the whole year.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, I didn't do that. I've done that before, but I'm into the weekly thing where I can just pick each team, change a team whenever I want. I'm not devoted to these certain amount of players for the whole season for the whole season or and trading and all that crap. So I made$30,000 the first time I ever played on FanDuel.
SPEAKER_03:Dude, I told you you're not gonna mention these places because they're not sponsoring us. There are great places all over the internet that you can participate in this said gaming that we're talking about. None of them sponsor us, none of them will be named. We will bleep that out.
SPEAKER_02:Here's the funny thing, too, is like the first year I won all that money. At the end of the tax time comes, I'm like, what the fuck is this? I get this in the mail.
SPEAKER_03:You had to pay like$14,000 to the man. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:It's like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03:Like I already spent that, I already lost half of that and spent the other half. I can't pay you any.
SPEAKER_02:That's how dumb I am. I'm like, shit, I thought all this money was mine. It should be. I just spent it all and I think I bought a couch, I bought a TV, you bought a bunch of four pairs of pants and the government took one-third of them. I bought a$600 stroller.
SPEAKER_03:See, that's the thing. You made that money from taxed money. You shouldn't have to pay taxes on it, but we can go on and I know we can go on that all day long.
SPEAKER_02:So this this first, or so this year I spent for the first week.
SPEAKER_03:So it's been six years so far. Six years. Yeah, this year starting the first He doesn't sleep, he just lives by the glow of NFL Network all night long watching Seahawks versus 49ers games that lasted. The game was a fucking blowout, nobody watched it.
SPEAKER_02:I'm trying to find the underdog, trying to find guys that people don't pick, the the cheap ones that will, you know, three or four X their value. But here's the thing: I spent$1,250 for the first week of NFL gambling.
SPEAKER_03:Did you know that you were gonna spend that much, or were you like, oh shit, I clicked okay that many times?
SPEAKER_01:You've been saving like$80 a week all year.
SPEAKER_03:He's actually keeping his pennies now selling socks at the vending machine next to Tony's total donations.
SPEAKER_02:No, I actually uh I always have a certain amount I start with. I started with two grand each year.
SPEAKER_03:And you win almost you went over half your load on the first week.
SPEAKER_02:No, uh I actually lost like almost everything this first week of. You did terribly. Yeah, I did very, very bad.
SPEAKER_01:But but I entered a a So if anybody's in the market for any clothes or anything, Jay's having a rubbish sale this weekend.
SPEAKER_02:Well, listen, I entered uh uh one of the uh one of the ones I entered into was a non non-lost bet. So basically they give you the money back.$750 were back into my thing. So I agree.
SPEAKER_03:But you have to gamble that. You can't withdraw it.
SPEAKER_02:You have to gamble it, you can't withdraw. No, it's so weird. But that's fine with me because we're gonna gamble it anyway.
SPEAKER_03:Right. It was part of your budgeting.
SPEAKER_02:That's why I spent so much on the first.
SPEAKER_03:You didn't really win any of your hands. No, I lost everything. How many lineups?
SPEAKER_02:Uh I don't actually care. Probably 1,500 at least. Different lineups. Oh, different. I usually go with one, but uh you put it all on a biscuit. You risk it all on one biscuit. I keep it in one basket. I keep all my eggs in one basket. You got a hedge. No, that's not wrong because if it if it that one basket wins, so much money.
SPEAKER_03:If two of your best players get fucking hurt, you're fucked out in the first 30 seconds. That's why I start crying. All right. So there's different levels of fantasy football, and everyone's into this shit. So I've been in I like to do the season long.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Like you just in the beginning of the year, you all get together at the same time and you all pick these players and you put them on your team, and you have this roster built, and you start different players, and some are on your bench. Well, I've been doing this for a long time now.
SPEAKER_02:I think before you before they even invented the pay as you go sports stuff. Before you go on further, I think the funnest part is actually just the drafting. Oh, that's the best part. That's like the only part I like.
SPEAKER_03:So this, so I was gonna say, so yeah, we've done I've done live ones. You do it on the phone, you do it together, you have a couple people with you, a couple people over there, whatever. Well, I'm in this one, it's a dynasty. So, like for five years now, we picked all of our players one year, and then each year we just pick from the rookies because we keep all our players, just like the regular NFC.
SPEAKER_02:What happens if one retires?
SPEAKER_03:You fucking lose your player, and you better fail your roster.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, so I've heard people talk about that. I never I don't have no idea what it is. Sure. I've heard people talk about it. Now it makes a little bit more sense.
SPEAKER_03:So you take a team at first, ten guys get five years ago, and you pick from a list of all the player names, and you start picking players, you take turns, you built your little roster, and then the years go on and people retire and you make trades.
SPEAKER_02:So you did one team five years ago, right? What was your team? Oh, I don't remember now. It was five years ago. Name one that you really fucked up on, one player.
SPEAKER_03:I just was talking about this. There was a wide receiver, I drafted them like third overall, or I don't remember. But yeah, you lose on these players, and you're like, oh crap, that was a terrible play. But we've been doing this for years, right? So this last this is the fifth year. Each year, you got all these players on your roster, and then this over the offseason the NFL draft happens, and then you have your little mini rookie draft where you pick the rookies before they even seen the field. You're picking players. You're making money off these? So you end up like with all these players, and we expand our rosters in the offseason, right? So I guess so I'm kind of losing. I think I've already lost Tony over here. He's gone. Tony's thinking about his team. But so so the the team, you build this team, and then in the offseason, so it gets kind of intense, right? You've been holding these same players, same with these playing with these same guys and these same managers, if you will, year after year. So we always talk shit. Well, this year we decided you need to cut your rosters at the end of the year, just like before the season starts, just like the end of the players you get. So you started with 20 guys on your bench, you gotta narrow it down to 16. So you gotta cut four players. But you just drafted four players in the rookie draft that was four rounds long. So you have to cut, unless someone retired or got hurt or whatever, you gotta cut some players off your roster. And do you dynam in Dynasty? Do you trade? Lots of trades because you have such a big team kind of thing, there's like no one on the benches. They're on the waiver wire to pick up.
SPEAKER_02:Tony has no idea what you're talking about. Waiver wire.
SPEAKER_03:So they're so we're sitting here with these teams and we gotta cut rosters. This is the point.
SPEAKER_01:I thought he was having a seizure. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02:No, go, I know exactly what it's on there.
SPEAKER_03:Who gives a shit about it? So here we wait to a lot of people. We're bitching and battering back and forth, us 10 team managers, about how many players we're supposed to cut this year. And the the commissioners, there's two commissioners to the league, so ever they give we give them their money and they uphold the rules. There's a commissioners, right? Do they tax either? So we have this fucking no. We have this cutoff of time. It had to be the day after the NFL rosters got cut. We were supposed to cut our rosters. If you didn't, your team got locked. You couldn't make any lineup changes, right? That was the punishment. So the first games played, and I noticed on Friday that the team I'm playing against has two more players on his team than I do. He didn't make all the cuts. Cheater. So I'm thinking to myself, what the shit is this? I made the sacrifices, I had to cut these players I didn't want to let go. Why didn't this guy do it? So I send a little message to the team chat. Hey, commissioners, I notice there's a couple teams that don't have all their fucking rosters cut down. What's the deal? And they're like, Well, the rosters are locked. I'm like, Well, that's still bullshit. The games are playing now, like we're in the season. Is it? Like, I get that's what the app can do. Is it best ball? No, but you have to keep these players on your rosters like rookies in case they become something in two years. You know what I mean? Like you're stuck holding on to scrubs that you don't know about names, you don't even know their names yet. They've never seen the NFL football field, but they're on your team. And you had to cut some of them fucking players. Some of the other guys weren't doing it. And then the guys are like, it's no big deal. They're getting punished because their rosters are locked. I'm like, well, that's still bullshit. And they're like, and then I noticed, wait a minute, you fucking two commissioners of the four of there's ten teams, and four teams didn't cut their rosters, and two of those teams are the fucking guys who are supposed to hold the rules, man. Oh my god. How much money's involved in this? And it became a whole five. How much money is involved in this? It's like 200 bucks a guy or 300 bucks, maybe a guy. That's kind of a lie. It's a big one because we do it every year, and like we have a party, we have a fucking trophy, we have punishment, we have the whole fucking. Wait, wait, wait. You have a punishment? We just implemented it. We're gonna do that.
SPEAKER_02:So it's just last place.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So, anyways. So what is what's the punishment? We'll see. We haven't figured it out. So who knows if these fucking flakes are great, I like it. So these guys are the the fucking rule makers and rule. We voted on it, and they're the rule holder guys. They decided to just like bend the rule. And they're like, it's no big deal. Stop making a big deal out of it. I'm like, you guys are fucking lame. That's not fair. This is solely stupid. I can't believe this. I can't believe I'm having this fucking discussion. You guys are the rule holders. Like, can I get back to the punishment? And so I questioned on the chat. I said, I questioned, I basically questioned their integrity as league managers. Integrity. I said, you and then they were like, Well, do you speed in case you don't get caught? I'm like, we're not talking about driving cars. I'm talking about you guys are the fucking guys that are supposed to hold this up and you're not. So how you wait, so then do you know what happened? They dropped their players. What they I mean, and they're like, I can't believe you question my integrity. We're fucking friends. Why are you doing this? And I said, I did it because it fucking worked. You guys knew you were in the wrong, and it fucking worked, and then they dropped their players. Well, then it was all fucking salty in the chat. They're all mad. Then some are on my side, some are on the other side, but the whole chat, they're like, Oh, that was a fun league for one game, now it's ruined because you fucking complained. Let me ask you. And they were all salty.
SPEAKER_02:Let me ask you this: someone drops out. How do you get someone back in the dynasty of Kentucky? We got a guy doing it now.
SPEAKER_03:We got a guy that just came in, I'll tell you about it.
SPEAKER_01:Because of the league holders' integrity.
SPEAKER_03:Well, they were dropping. In fact, they kicked this other guy out and they referenced my complaint to me being like him. And I was like, fuck you. So it's all salty in the chat. Well, here's what happened, dude. I couldn't be happier. The reason I wanted to tell this story because fantasy football is all about the glory, right? Whether it's money you're spending, whether it's your kids in the backseat talking about finessing their friends, right? It's all about the glory. It doesn't matter how much money you play. It does maybe in the daily stuff. It's a little different. Because it's not like camaraderie, but it's all about the money. The league long, the season long shit, it's all about building a relationship, maintaining relationships with people you might not see all that often, but every year there's football every week to comment with them every third week or whatever. You line up against someone you don't talk to, except for when you're against them every year, and then you talk shit and then about golf or whatever you want. So these guys are like, I'm there, I'm like, fuck. I made this big fucking stink. It's actually not that big a deal, but they think I think it's a big fucking deal. I just did it for fun. Now I'm the bad guy. Then my team, all my bench players scored because I forgot to set my lineman up. I was so fucking flustered. And I could tell that there was radio silence across the chat. I could tell they were all like, oh, look at that fucking idiot. He was complaining about all these players and who has players and what, and all his bench players scored all these 20, sturdy points. So then Sunday rolls around, and my team kept rolling. Every one of my starters, every one of the players that they're like, You got all these crappy players you can drop. That's why you don't care, and blah, blah, blah. All of them rolled. All of them did great. And I beat them all. I beat them all by fucking 40 points. I was the top scoring team of the week. Everyone did, and I went back up in that chat that you can't search to, and I fucking scrolled through it, and I found that comment where he said, Oh, you could drop six of your crappy players and it's easy for you. And I fucking replied to that comment and said, What six players?
SPEAKER_02:I really want to know who you had because no one really did good this time.
SPEAKER_03:I had all the fucking players. Huge Johnson, fucking the wide receiver from Kansas City, the wide receiver from the Chargers. I had everybody that's doing Michael Penix. I had Fortin Johnson. I had his ass. I had Lenin Allen. I had fucking Michael Pittman. I had them fucking all dude. I had all the guys. Yeah, Pivots. You need to come to me if you want to make money on Daily Fantasy. I was never gonna do good besides that first week. I put a hundred dollar budget in. I spent 20 of it, and I'm up 25 bucks on my daily fantasy. Let me tell you right now, you play that again second week, it's gonna do shit. I've already traded away some of these players with these fucking fools. Dude, it couldn't be better. These guys, I've been five years, six years I've been playing with them. I came into their league as a newbie. I picked fucking adopted a team. No, we redrafted.
SPEAKER_02:Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. It's full PPR. What was your score?
SPEAKER_03:Like 170 something. Okay, that's yeah, it's decent. There was a low scoring week this year. It was very low, very low. I fucking nailed everything, dude. Full PPR, right? Yeah, everything I did was fucking great at this in this fucking league. I could I couldn't have been happier. I waited. I tried to craft the perfect fucking Monday morning response. What running backs did you have? Uh I don't even know. Aaron Jones. Uh he didn't do that good. He's good enough, dude. I have his top scoring team. Uh and one other. Did you have did you have uh Robbie? Stevenson, maybe. No, I had them in other leagues. But this fucking league, dude. I was so happy, dude.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, so we won't talk about the um the boring parts about hold on, let's yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But I got a quick question here, as somebody who doesn't know shit about shit.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:So you say you had 16 players, everybody had 20, you had the trim four, got you down to 16.
SPEAKER_03:On my bench, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And then and then everybody else was supposed to also trim four, yeah, but only trim two. Some of them did.
SPEAKER_03:Some of them trimmed two, some of them didn't trim any, some of them only one of the guys trimmed. So how does this benefit them? Because if that player scores, it's on their bench, but so like it's the first week of the year, right? And we just drafted in the in the offseason, we drafted rookies, so our rosters expanded these four new guys you put on your team. What rookies did you get? Well, so week one, they set their lineup so their starters are all in there. Because week one, who knows? There's nothing to go on. You're gonna put the guy in there that you drafted first, right? Your best, right? Whatever. So you put him in there and you have these bench players. Well, let's say like there's two running backs on one team, and the consensus around the league is that they might timeshare, one might play, the other one might play. Well, if you're making roster cuts, you might cut the guy who ends up being the starter because you didn't know. But if you get to keep him on your team and you get to see if he's the starter, it and he's not, he's a flop, or the other guy gets injured and he becomes a stud, you would know now, because you cheated and kept your roster too big, that the guy that you have saved on your team is gonna be good or isn't gonna be good so easily to cut.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:You get what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:So you had to do the cuts before you could see them perform.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly. So everybody gets performed last year.
SPEAKER_01:Now everybody gets to see him perform this year, and then they can make their decision. So yes.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, so the guys who kept more guys the guy the team managers who kept more guys on their team and had an opportunity to see the player that they were like, eh, I don't really know, but he's a rookie, or I don't know, he just got traded to this new team. Or Tony I read an article that he's gonna be the greatest tight end since sliced bread. You can keep him on your bench.
SPEAKER_02:Another thing, too, too, Tony, is uh you have what how many guys all together, even on your bench, starting bench, whatever. 30? Yeah, something like that. So you make a team of like 10 or whatever, 10 players out of your 30. To start. To start. So if you got a player you don't start and he does awesome, you're fucked. You don't get those points. And then basically you want more players because you want more to choose from.
SPEAKER_01:And it wasn't necessary. Pick your lineup as I want these 10 people. Yeah, is it 10 people that you play a week?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you get a quarterback, two wide receivers, two running backs, three wide receivers. There's different forms.
SPEAKER_01:So the starter means that that is the player that you get the points from for that whole week. That week just that week.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Okay. And then if you got a guy on your bench that does amazing, you don't get those points.
SPEAKER_03:So like if a quarterback throws a core a touchdown for 20 yards, well, the 20 yards would get him like a half of a point, and then the touchdown will get him four points or six points, depends. And then like the receiver would get six points for catching it, plus twenty yards, two points for the yards he made. Yeah, so that's how you like accumulate a score, is how good that player performs. Okay, so it throws in interceptions, it's negative points, it's exactly how I imagine it in my head.
SPEAKER_02:I'm still not interested. So the only thing you get negative for is fumbling or interceptions. Or running backwards. Obviously, you're not going to get interception from a running back, you'll get negative from a fumble. So basically, all you have to worry about is yardage and touchdowns, which basically, if you can get the guy that gets the most I mean, and then it's kind of obvious, but gets the most touchdowns, you won already.
SPEAKER_03:So basically, the moral of the story of fantasy football is that it's great because you get opportunities to talk shit to your friends, then be proven right, and then whoop their ass on the field, if you will, where you win the week and then you get to have a podcast and talk about it. That's the moral of the story.
SPEAKER_02:But here's the thing though, Chris plays something totally different than I do.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, there's a lot of different formats.
SPEAKER_02:I don't give a fuck who I'm winning, be winning or losing to. I just care if I win money. So it can be I can go into a tournament, pay one dollar to enter it. There's three hundred thousand people in it. If I get first place, I win five grand. Uh there's another league where it's nine dollars to enter. I have a team that I fill out with a certain salary cap. If I win that, I win a million dollars. But I have to beat probably six or seven hundred thousand people. Sounds doable.
SPEAKER_03:It's really gambling. It really is.
SPEAKER_02:It is a the better, it's a way better chance of doing that than winning the fucking Powerball that was just at 1.8 billion billion dollars.
SPEAKER_03:It's it's creeped quite into just pure fandom. Like if you just want to be a fan of the NFL, I don't think it's as bad in basketball or baseball, but in NFL football, if you want to be a fan and watch tell you will become a gambler. I guarantee. I guarantee if you feel because they advertise the hell out of the fucking shows.
SPEAKER_02:If you put$100 down for one week and you made a lineup, you would want to watch every fucking game. That's part of it, too. Guaranteed. It's like a symbiont relationship. And you'd want to know what happened in the other games. And the reason why you didn't get this guy didn't do that, or that guy didn't do that, because you didn't get those points that he should have had.
SPEAKER_03:You're like handicapping at like a horse race person, duel. I just kind of look at it and go like, oh, well, the Chargers are good at defense against wide receivers, so I'm not going to pick anyone who's playing against them, but the Jacksonville Jaguars are terrible against defensive wide receivers, so I'll just there's so many things to look at.
SPEAKER_02:There's look at look at DB's.
SPEAKER_03:It's like handicapping horses. A wide receiver, how is this DB lineup? I just pick whatever pick K Adams from TV tells me to pick. Because that's what it's become, dude. They have whole segments on the pregame. Those guys are the worst. They literally put Wi-Fi in NFL Stadiums because of fantasy football.
SPEAKER_02:That totally makes sense. Yeah, but those guys literally they don't know shit. And they're always wrong. They're never right.
SPEAKER_03:The best part about fantasy football for me is that I'm in four different leagues. They all have different formats, but they're with four different groups of people. And these are people who I don't talk to on a regular basis. And I only talk to them during the football season typically. Or we might get together a couple times. Other than that, we see that. But I might not I would probably in my adult life not remain friends with that many people or communicating with that many people.
SPEAKER_02:So basically, you have friends because of the NFL.
SPEAKER_03:Remain friends, I would say. You don't start a league with strangers.
SPEAKER_02:Some of us are friends. Necessarily. So these friends are NFL friends.
SPEAKER_03:And by the way, we did have a player who traded away his whole team over the last three years and then fucking got kicked out of the league, and someone had to take over his terrible team. Really? Yeah. But we paid his league dues this year. I'll do it. Well, the commissioners.
SPEAKER_02:I'd beat all your asses.
SPEAKER_03:See? You'd be up for the challenge. Listen. So he's been trading away his whole team for draft picks. He's gonna start all over.
SPEAKER_02:I I w I okay. So Tony, you remember the carpenter that uh you work with? Mm-hmm. Chad. I didn't want to say his name, so but anyway, uh he asked me to do his fantasy football league just like Chris, but it was a little a little different, not the the uh long term one, just a yearly one. I did it the first time I did it, I won. I beat everyone that he was that uh we were with. And he didn't invite me back. I'm like, yeah, it's fine. I understand. I'm not saying that I'm amazing at it, kinda good, but it's just like I'd rather play the the weekly one because you can win so much more money. Yeah, so much more money than you can with the the uh yearly one. So much more.
SPEAKER_03:So that's our little run at top shelf stories talking about fantasy football. We don't really talk about sports very much, but I think this episode exemplifies what this pods cast is great for. We don't three different dudes who are somewhat similar, but have completely different perspectives on almost every topic. I don't think we've ever been three and all on one topic. We've always had an outsider or three completely different opinions. That's why you listen to Top Shelf Stories podcasts with Chris, Jay, and Tony. Beautiful.
SPEAKER_02:And then that's the reason why Tony didn't talk very much today because he has no the fucking idea what's going on. But he's connecting with his kids. I see his neighbors. Did you learn something? Did you learn something today, Tony?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that everything's really expensive at the stadium.
SPEAKER_02:No, we didn't talk about the stadium. I'm saying did you learn something from Chris today?
SPEAKER_01:I did. Will you consider it sounds like I really gotta watch managers if I ever get into fantasy football?
SPEAKER_03:You gotta know who the commissioner is, man.
SPEAKER_02:Chris, you know it'd be amazing if us three did a fantasy football league and just I want to Tony would be so obsessed with it. He would get so serious and obsessed with it.
SPEAKER_03:Fantasy football is so popular that if we advertised to have the listeners to play the league with us, we'd probably fill it.
SPEAKER_02:So, so here's it'd be the most listeners, all 12 of them. Yeah. This is called this episode's called fantasy football.
SPEAKER_01:I bet you're I would be willing to do a fantasy football league with you guys, but there would have to be parameters, okay? What parameters? So you don't get to pick your players. We so that's defeats the whole purpose of fantasy management. No, listen to me. Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead. We each get 10 players, we fill out the 30 best players in the NFL. You can make the list. Okay, and then we have a random number generator, assign them all a number between one and three, and then one of us, each one of us gets our lineup picked at random out of the top players. But that's just that's that's like chance.
SPEAKER_02:Fantasy football has to do with strategy, uh thinking, and wise management.
SPEAKER_01:Well, then it wouldn't be something I would be interested in because you are a manager. There's no way I would be willing to watch be competitive football.
SPEAKER_02:Tony, you don't have to watch the football, you just have to pay attention to what your guys do.
SPEAKER_03:I'm in one league with my wife, my brother's wife, my brother's wife's friend. Can you do like mid-season ones for fun?
SPEAKER_02:No money. Sure. We should just do for fun, us three. I bet you Tony would do good. I get Dan Marino. Dan Marino!
SPEAKER_03:I'll get Brett Favre then. This shit's never gonna make it on the pod. Turn that thing off. We gotta go. See ya later.
