Top Shelf Stories
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Top Shelf Stories
The Ranch Revolution
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The guys reunite after a brief hiatus to discuss one of their biggest dinner debacles ever, involving a Wing Stop order gone terribly wrong. They delve into the chaos that ensued when an order was mistakenly sent to a location 70 blocks away in a sketchy neighborhood.
• Debating whether boneless wings are actually wings or just glorified chicken nuggets
• Discussion of a lawsuit against BW3s for falsely advertising boneless wings
• Passionate debate about which restaurant chain has the superior ranch dressing
• Jay's claim that he "invented putting ranch on anything but a salad"
• Story about ordering a "large ranch" and receiving a comically huge container
• Tony's nightmare gas station experience with terrible customer service
• Shared frustrations about declining service quality at fast food restaurants
• Tales of Taco Bell's mysterious "cash only" policies and drive-thru priorities
Check out our merch and connect with us on Twitter @TShelfStories for more top shelf content!
Podcast Intro and Catch-up
Speaker 1Top Shelf Stories with Jay, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2Welcome, welcome, welcome. What's up everybody. How you doing, Chris Good? Hey, Jay, Haven't seen you for a little bit. Yeah, it's been a while, Tony how are you?
Speaker 3Dude, I'm fantastic.
Speaker 1For the listeners. We're coming into your ears here on a Tuesday for, like what, 40 episodes in a row. We've been doing this for 40 weeks in a row.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Is it about right? How many episodes are we in? We stopped doing seasons.
Speaker 2Now we don't know where the hell we are 30, 38, 30, maybe 36 in the thirties, high thirties. It's pretty impressive. No, I you know, every week, every time I try to, I upload a new one. I look at the last one.
Speaker 1I'm like, holy crap, we're already at 30. Soon it's going to be 100 top shelf stories with jay, chris and tony sounds like the beginning so I didn't know really what to talk about today, but I think I got an idea here.
The Wing Stop Dinner Debacle
Speaker 3I wanted well before we get into a subject I just got to bring up the fact that we had probably one of the biggest dinner debacles, uh, in the history of the show. For those of you that don't know, me and chris get dinner and we make jay watch us eat it yeah, it's really weird.
Speaker 1I don't know why we like having them watch us every week we're like pull up a chair. Jay, watch us eat and they wonder why I'm late we always ask him if if he wants any right, as it is almost gone yep, no, but the thing is they always have one or two wings left and like why don't you finish it?
Speaker 2I don't know, why don't you finish it. I can't, I can't breathe right now. Ain't too much?
Speaker 1that's a trick by the wing industry. They sell, sell packs and typically in an odd number. It can't be split very evenly. Yeah, you get like a 15 wings. Well, I had seven, he had seven, now there's the last one why do wings in the bone cost more than wings not boned?
Speaker 3supply and demand supply and demand is a real, easy answer, because it's not real.
Speaker 2Chicken well wing not boned isn't a wing demand.
Speaker 3Supply and demand.
Speaker 1Well, there's a real easy answer for that Because it's not real chicken. Well, wing, not boned isn't a wing, it's just a chicken, it's like chopped up whatever's left over.
Speaker 3It's mainly fillers.
Speaker 2It's hard to put fillers in a boned chicken Well isn't it supposed to be like the chicken you buy, but the bone's taken out and kind of no, then that's fucking a lie.
Speaker 1I just heard Someone is in the process. It is like a suit from 2022. He's suing BW3s because they call them boneless wings Really, and they're not from the chicken wing, it's just a chicken breast piece of meat.
Speaker 2That makes sense to me, and he's like this is false advertising.
Speaker 1You're putting out $7.99 wing all you can eat and I don't get any wings. I got chicken nuggets covered in barbecue sauce.
Speaker 2The reason why I'm so apprehensive to get them is because I think they're the actual meat that comes off the bone and they chew it up and fucking put it in. I've probably eaten like one or two in my entire life Bone in chicken, wing, bone out, I call it bone out.
Speaker 1So there's a whole level Sounds like Saturday night.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1There's a whole level of what these wings could be, these boneless wings. It could be just like your Tyson chicken nugget where it's like mechanically engineered, removed meat from the ends of pieces and tendons and whatever?
Speaker 1They hydrate it, dehydrate it, add a bunch of flavoring, smash it up into a shape, call it a wing and then deep fry it and then cover it in sauce. Sometimes it's like literally a chicken tender, which you want, or breast meat cut into pieces that are then called boneless wings, and that makes a little more sense because the wings are part of the chicken breast. Can we, can we agree? We can agree on that.
Speaker 1So if you want to call that part of the wing cause it's like the muscle part of the wing kind of fine.
Speaker 2At what age did you actually understand that it's not an actual buffalo?
Speaker 1Well, it sounds like you just found out today that it's not pieces of the wing. No, I found that out today Because if someone deboned my wings and fried them, for me that would actually be pretty fucking delicious. That's what I'm saying, like if they pre-deboned it and then they deep fried it. It would still look like a flat, but there's no bone in it and you can eat it like a cordial. It's chocolate.
Speaker 2It's kind of like taking the meat out of the crab, like they're trying to do nowadays, and I actually bought that just recently. That's fake crab meat too, though.
Speaker 1A lot of times they mix that shit with.
Speaker 2Not the fake ones. It's an actual seafood company that has crab legs in a concealed container that is out of the shell dude. You never seen those commercials on on facebook and it's fully cooked.
Speaker 3They're like wild alaska or something. Yeah, yeah, something like that freeze dry and they're just lock them and send them to your door I remember once upon a time me and you driving together having an argument about imitation crab leg what where the fuck you don't remember this?
Speaker 2was it dirt? Was it the day we went to the guns? Gun, no, this we were.
Speaker 3We were in racine and we were driving together I don't know if we were heading to lunch or something, oh, for work. Yeah, went back when we used to work together and, uh, we had like a half hour argument about what imitation crab meats made out of. What did I say? Because I don't remember you thought it was real crab? No, I didn't. You thought it was real crab, ground up and reshaped which some of that they do.
Speaker 1Do that, I think it's mostly no, it's pollock. So then also they make it out of fish and then they color it to look and taste.
Speaker 3Pollock is a fish and they grind up its meat because it's a shit fish to eat. It doesn't taste bad. No, they grind up its meat. They add flavor to it to make it taste like crap. They add a thousand things to it, put it in a gigantic sheet. Roll it up like a joint.
Speaker 2It's like seafood string cheese. It is Exactly the same thing.
Speaker 1But some of them can be better than the original. Like I had some lobster recently, it was not that good.
Speaker 2I had some lobster too, you're right, I didn't really enjoy it.
Speaker 1Mine was not disgusting.
Speaker 2Mine was not that great, I couldn't eat it. I got it at one of those where they cook in front of you, At a hibachi Hibachi. Chop it up, lobster. And I'm like, yes, and I took a bite of it and I'm like this isn't lobster, what he took it out of the thing it was lobster.
Speaker 1It's disgusting. Okay, tony, before we get started here, what happened today with dinner?
Speaker 3well, first off, something got fucked up with the ordering. Uh, I I actually I ordered and sent chris to go get it, which?
Speaker 1is, which is a practice that occurs because I'm driving.
Speaker 2It happens man, it happens you always send him a receipt because we kind of take turns a picture receipt into our our facebook chat group always yeah, well, I read it.
Speaker 1That's ever since he'd been doing that, ever since I went in there and was asking for an order for tony, but he used his legal name anthony and the lady and I had it out until I finally realized it was anthony yeah, so I send over the receipt and so when you order on the line, you remind me of the never mind when you order on the, it makes you put in your zip code.
Speaker 3So I put the zip code of the establishment we are in right now.
Speaker 1Which would make sense.
Speaker 3So my orders automatically would go to the wing stop that's directly across the street it's literally on the same street, like almost the same street yeah, like jog there and back and wouldn't be bad yeah, if you cut through one fucking, it would be
Speaker 1faster to walk than drive to.
Speaker 3It's so close, pretty much, pretty much so so every time I've ever ordered wing stop, it's automatically gone to that location because of the zip code.
Speaker 2And you've got a zip code, you guys have gotten that shoot a lot, yeah, a bunch of times, lots of times.
Speaker 3I mean, for some reason, more than I can count the order went to a place, to a different location that's almost 70 blocks away.
Speaker 1But your zip code where you are here does actually have an odd shape. I'd imagine, and probably could be, could have been that one.
Speaker 2So hey, chris, when you went in there, you're like order for Tony. Well, I was in there.
Speaker 1Yeah, I said, hey, I got an order for Anthony, pick up Anthony. Well, I was in there. Yeah I said hey, uh, I got an order for anthony, pick up anthony. And and she's like okay, she starts pulling checking bags. There's like 10 bags lined up. She starts checking bags and she's like okay. And then she looks at this board, which is a new thing. There's a tv screen with all these names and your order number and if you're on the board, that means you're either in or it's coming in, or cooked and ready to go. She looks at it a couple times and she's like I don't know, I can check my main computer. And I'm like, wow, okay, check the main computer. And as she's doing that, I pulled out my order number and I look at it and I'm like yeah, it says Anthony. I showed it to her. She's like, hmm, okay.
Speaker 2Did you have the same picture and receipt that he sent you?
Speaker 1Yeah, and then I started looking at it and I'm like oh, this son of a bitch ordered on the one that's at 5400 this street, not 12400 this street.
Speaker 2So you saw the actual address.
Speaker 1They're on the same street. They're just 70 blocks away. This happens to be 70 blocks into the heart Well, not quite the heart, but towards the parts of the city. You don't necessarily want to be 70 blocks into the heart well, not quite the heart, but into towards the parts of the city.
Speaker 2You don't necessarily want to be in. When I saw that reply from tony the receipt, I'm like why would he send? Was chris over in the in the in the bad part of town right now getting food?
Speaker 1why is he? Sending it down there he even asked he's like you want to pick it up at the one that's by your house there and the one over here, and I'm like the one you know, he's like obviously the one over here, right, and I said yeah, and that's that other one's not by my house either, necessarily any closer well, I know you have gone to there to pick up because you feel like it's the better of the two, I think that it also gives me the opportunity to just grab it before I go home and everything.
Speaker 1It's right off the freeway and then choo, choo, choo. But yeah, that is a better window.
Speaker 3So you get here, I don't know 40 minutes late, with ice cold food.
Speaker 1Well, so today, yeah, I get to this place and she's like, yeah, it's not there, and then I notice it's the other one. So then I leave and then the lady who I was in the way of while she patiently waited for me to talk to this lady well, because she couldn't get at the straw can. Then she's outside getting in her car and I'm like, well, I now have to wait for this lady, because I made her wait for the damn straws inside while I was in her way. She was in her way putting her food into her car. Then I drive, I get there, get to this place and they don't they have this like drive-thru. I'm like wingstop doesn't have a drive-thru, but I'm like going through this thing though so I go through it.
Speaker 1There's a person in front of me and it's it's radio silence for like three or four or five minutes as this lady's just in the line and no one's come to the window or nothing, and it's like this bulletproof glass window with the bulletproof glass food service circle thing, you know, and yeah. So then she, finally the lady, comes, gives this lady like six bags of wing stop and like three containers of cups, and she takes off and goes into the line for the uh drive-thru at taco bell because apparently this woman's food wasn't enough. But I pull up and there's like I'll show you guys now, now that we've ate. I don't know if this would have grossed you out, tony, but as I was waiting there, I'll send this in the chat here so you can look at it on your own devices. There's a piece of a wig on the floor outside of it. Sure, wasn't a head attached?
Speaker 2to that wig.
Speaker 1But anyway.
Speaker 2So then I finally get my food Looks like a rat.
Speaker 1And yeah, I drive back all the way over here and instead of being there at 6.30, I was here at 7. And the food was ice cold and it was at an even lesser quality.
Speaker 2Ew, there's two pieces of wig.
Speaker 1Wingstop is probably one of the lesser quality ones you could possibly go to.
Speaker 2So when you order from wingstop you got to pay ahead of time, right? Yeah, oh, so you, because tony did say when chris said hey, you fucker, this is on 56th street 100 fucking blocks away.
Speaker 1He was ready to give up and abandon it he's like abandon the order, go to taco bell.
Speaker 2He didn't want me to die in the ghetto.
Speaker 1And then chris, for some reasons, like I'll, I'll this this way stop is in the shopping center that is holding on for dear life. I don't know why it still exists, but it does it's like a hundred dollars a month it's all subsidized and been revamped and it looks beautiful. It's a great little area there's also a starbucks in that. There's all kinds of things in there. There's every store you can imagine a midtown center.
Speaker 2You shouldn't be like hey, since you're down there, I think there's a starbucks there too. Can you grab me a, a nice latte, but like I don't know.
Speaker 1It's a higher crime area and it's a place. When you get into a place of town where no one's taking care of their own yards, you know you're in trouble. That's where I, that's where I grade it like if you're not picking up trash garbage everywhere in front of your own house. Yeah, then what is what is going on in your neighborhood? Like that's a telltale sign of a broken up losing it.
Speaker 3If I need to know if I'm in a safe neighborhood or not, I go to a gas station and swipe my card at the pump, and if it asks me for my zip code, I just fucking keep driving no, that's just bps no you go to a gas station and if you have to hold what you're buying up to the fucking glass for them to scan it, that's when you know you're at a bad neighborhood.
Speaker 2No doubt, like I'm holding everything I'm buying. I got like six chips. I got a fucking couple sodas. He's like, okay, pick that one up.
Speaker 1Pick that one up, but I'll tell you throughout this whole experience and this is where I'll go with the story I was gonna tell a different story, but I'll tell this one.
Speaker 3I I actually received pretty good customer service overall, like the woman who had the first gas there the first probably figured that you were a secret shopper in upper management because you're the only white person that's ever been to that wing stop well, not the other one we got a white guy coming through at the other wing stop when I was totally wrong like somebody's boss is at the door. I don't.
Speaker 1Yeah, I don't know, but even at the other wing stop I was totally just disrupted their day for no damn good reason for a minute and a half until I figured out my life and left Like I didn't help them either. And they were polite. This woman, after she finally came to the window, she was polite. She was clearly overworked. It seemed that she was the only one in there. There was all these people inside. They had bulletproof glass on the inside and on the outside.
Speaker 2Half of them were like dancing to music.
Speaker 1Half of them were working. I don't know, but the food was fine it was fine it was cold, because it was.
Speaker 3I picked it up 20 minutes late and then he put in his trunk 10 minutes here so there was a little when I was ordering because I usually don't do shit on the interwebs uh, I got into this debacle about ranch. So normally when I order on wing stop, you select which type of dressing you would like, which I mean is how he's ranch at wing stop. They got the best ranch in the game they do have the best ranch.
Speaker 3No liars, liar buffalo, wild wings. That shit's not even a real ranch. I don't give a shit. It's better it's not. It's not even a real ranch. I don't give a shit. It's better, it's not it's not even close.
Speaker 2It could be made of little babies, bro, if I and I don't care it tastes delicious.
Speaker 3If I blind taste tested you, you would never pick Buffalo, I guarantee. Then do it. We should do that, I guarantee.
Speaker 2I would know it immediately, because that taste, it's just like it wakes me up it like wakes me up.
Speaker 3It's like caffeine. This is totally like oh, my dad's a ford guy, I'm a ford guy, my kids are gonna be ford guys no see, you're just stuck on buffalo wild wings because you like shitty food and cheap wings.
Speaker 2Uh, not taking into consideration the quality that wingstop brings, I order way more ranch, always like fucking giant amounts of ranch just because I know I'm gonna use it, because later on a different meal.
Speaker 3Well, that's because buffalo wild wings ranch is better than that ultra processed, shitty hidden valley you got in your refrigerator I think it is the hidden valley no, no, not even close, but but wing stop is like what ranch was designed to taste like. Yeah, I would agree.
Speaker 2I had it before and it's not. I still think.
Speaker 1We should do it. It'll be a top shelf stories. Presents a three dimes taste test. Throw back three dimes taste test.
Speaker 2I guarantee 100%. I'll even put $100 down. I will be able to Depict the Buffalo Wild Wings If you go on YouTube.
Speaker 1If you go on YouTube right now and search three dimes reviews, you can find us Tasting and rating all Fast food Dipping sauces.
Speaker 2That was like four years ago.
Speaker 3It's true. So typically when I order Wingstop we get the little cups of ranch and we get two a person.
Speaker 1Yeah, is this the proper amount of ranch? I think one each. One each I think it's one, each it's either one, maybe two, I don't know.
Speaker 3Something like that.
Speaker 1I might get an extra.
Speaker 3But I had the option in the screen I was in to only choose one. I couldn't up my order of ranch to two or four cups, I could only get one. So I'm scrolling through the options and there was an option for a large ranch and I'm like, okay, well, I'll just get the large. And since I can't get two smalls, and, uh, I get to the the checkout screen and and then it gives me an option for add-on.
Speaker 3So I'm like, oh shit, I'll get one more ranch cupped in how much does your ranch cost come to, didn't say well so the little one was like a buck 50 or something wow, you ordered a like half quart.
Gas Station Customer Service Nightmare
Speaker 1Yes, it was a half quart of ranch, it was a half I'm looking at this, you know, yeah, from from fucking people normally get like a pasta salad for a for a potluck lunch.
Speaker 2It was like a custard full ice cream container of ranch A pint.
Speaker 3If you fucking poured it into a measuring cup, it would be a cup and a half of ranch. Yes, like who the fuck?
Speaker 2I would love. I'll take it every day. I'd be happy, I'd be excited. It'd be like a birthday present.
Speaker 1See, I've ordered extra cups of ranch and it's not. I never got the big fucking cup I get it pw3s big cup.
Speaker 2It was just too much, but this was a comical amount yeah, that was more than I've ever seen, more than I thought you ordered soup.
Speaker 3so now I I texted my wife and I said you got to come up with some recipes for the rest of the week that involve a lot of ranch Dude. There's no, we need ranch recipes. I got to go through this ranch.
Speaker 2I could take that container of ranch out in two meals. Easy, that's how much ranch I mean. I douse my shit. Well, it's in the fridge, you can take it home with you or drink it on the ride home. I don't know. It's not BWG, it's not the same.
Speaker 3You'll find out, you'll be like oh shit, I do remember you telling me how you invented putting ranch on pizza.
Speaker 2On everything. Yeah, I invented putting it on anything but a salad. I was an inventor because I've been alive for 40-some years. Ranch has only been around for 38. This kid was Right. When it came out I'm like, wow, this stuff is so good, let's just start putting it on other things.
Speaker 1Jay's taking his little jars with the pears and the fucking refried beans and stuff and he's dipping it in ranch before he's eating his. My mama could never get me to eat but I told her about the ranch and ever since then I didn't even need the airplane.
Speaker 2I used to cut up different blocks of cheese into a fucking bite size snack strips and dip it in ranch. There's a lot of things that would do so you're telling me before you invented dipping things in ranch.
Speaker 1All the veggie trays that were sold in supermarkets just came plain.
Speaker 3Cream cheese. Those were the full block.
Speaker 1Cut open veggies that have been sitting on the counter for two and a half days, you take it home and you got no dip. I guess Jay didn't invent dipping shit yet.
Speaker 2No, the dipping shit for vegetables was always a dill product. It was a dill made dip that had this really long green shit in it. That's how vegetables used to be with dips Ranch, until I started talking about it around my mainstream peoples. They're like whoa great idea, let's put it in. We are the force of fact.
Speaker 1Don't forget to give your veggies a ranch. We're out. Thanks for coming to our show.
Speaker 2You got to look at it, man. It started in Milwaukee. I would do it when I'm on stage. I'd be like watch this Take a slice of pizza from the back.
Speaker 1Look at this broccoli. We'll play your venue, but here's what we're going to need. We're going to need some see-through cups of ranch and slices of pizza from last night's order. It's very important it's yesterday's pizza.
Speaker 2I mean, I'm telling you that's how it happened. Okay, that's how I got popular.
Speaker 1So we ended up getting ranch sauce from the ghettoist wing stop I think is in the city. There's probably like 29 locations in the city. This had to be the worst one.
Speaker 3The thing is, though, is I don't know that if I ordered a large ranch from any other wing stop, it would come that big, that it would be that size.
Speaker 1Why else would a wing stop have that cup? Maybe they don't serve?
Speaker 2soup. Maybe they ran out of the cups, the bigger size portions they get ranch and they're like grab a soup cup.
Speaker 3It was so big and there was so much liquid in it they had to tape the lid on you think it was for, like, the catering orders, and they're like, oh crap, just give them that, that's probably what they give you, because you can order like a dozen little corn cobs. That's probably what they come in. I don't know about that. I don't know. It was fucking comical.
Speaker 1Well, I was going to tell you guys in this story, although I think our story trailing off is better. This is okay. I went to the gas station. I don't really go to the gas station very much, but I'm like I need something quick. I went to the gas station. I don't really go to the gas station very much, but I'm like I need something quick. I'm going to grab a slice of pizza or something that's rolling on those little rolling vacation beach benches or whatever they're called the rollers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go into the gas station. Place is a mess, it's a fucking mess. What?
Speaker 2gas station, a Speedway, obviously not a quick trip. It was a mess.
Speaker 1Everything's for sale, everything's on sale, and there's stuff on every angle of every.
Speaker 1they got like six tables with discount you can't even see her, the cashier, when she called me that she was ready for me. So I just heard a voice from the other side of the car Exactly, and she's like where are you? Okay, over here. So I get my stuff Right. And I had two rollers, three that was three dollars. Then I bought a one dollar candy bar for my kid and I bought some nicotine pouches that were three for 199. So my total was six dollars plus tax.
Speaker 1So she's doing the thing and I gotta like punch in my phone number to get the discount on the things, and then I gotta not contribute to the christian miracle foundation or whatever they want you to round up to, I put pennies and then you gotta like press a button that you don't want to pay with points or do want to pay with points for whatever thing that you got or whatever. And then she's like okay, and I put my and I and I can't there's no total. No, I put my little thing, beep ding. She's like you want a slip and I said sure, so she gives me a slip and I look it's $11,. I'm like wait a minute this doesn't add up.
Speaker 1I'm like I only got $6 worth of stuff here. She goes oh, those, that's an old sign on those nicotine pouches. I'm like, oh, that's interesting, I don't okay. She's like, well, see, and then she shows me the receipt. She's like look, see, you got $4 off of this because it's supposed to be $11. Now you got this off of this and four of this and whatever. I'm like that's great that you're showing me this on the receipt. But I ordered these things. They there's $6 worth of things and I paid $11. Like, can we just fix it quick? She's like well, so you don't want these things. I'm like, no, I want exactly what I got. That's shown on the shelf of what I got. She's like okay, whatever. And then the phone rings. She goes to reach for the phone. But luckily some other lady grabbed the phone. You ran out. No, but I'm standing there. I paid $11.
Speaker 1I'm waiting for my change. And then she's like punching in all this stuff and scanning all these things and it's been like a minute, two minutes. She's trying to figure this out and I was ready to just be like whatever, I'm just going to go. Then this lady who answered the phone is frolicking in the back, whispering in all these drawers, and she's like yelling and like this is I don't know where it is, and this and the other thing. And so then she calls my cashier over hey, where are all those credit cards? And then they're over there for, like I don't know felt like a long time, but it's probably like 30 seconds, and I'm still standing here. She's got my stuff now because she was re-scanning it or something. So I got nothing and I paid 11 bucks and I'm just standing there and I'm like, uh, excuse me, can your cashier finish with me? And then do that. And she's like, listen, we got a emergency on our hands. I'm like cracker. And I said that's great, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1But the phone rang after she was already doing my crap and I've been standing here and she goes, I don't care. And I'm like, well, that's fine, she goes, I'm the fucking manager and I don't give a shit. Or she didn't say shit, but she did say fuck. I'm like wow, well, they're not gonna care when you give me your business card and I let the speedway know about your service and the cashier comes back and she's like fixing the thing and the lady's like I don't care if you call the management. I really think it don't. She's crashing all this stuff in Jesus. She's, she's what dude? She's yelling back at me more in this other thing. And then the cashier figured it out and she gives me six dollars and oh yeah, $6 and change back.
Speaker 2From what.
Speaker 1Well, I gave her $11. My total should have been $6 plus tax, but she gave me $6 back, which was more than I should have got back. She gave it to me in cash, even though I paid with my credit card.
Speaker 3And.
Speaker 1I told her. I said sorry, lady. Thank you so much for your help. I'm sorry you have to work for this psychotic woman.
Speaker 2There's no way that you were not yelling back at the girl yelling at you.
Speaker 1Oh, no way was I. Why would I be yelling?
Speaker 2Because she wanted to get you out of there, so she gave it more change.
Speaker 1No, I wasn't yelling at the cashier, no, not the cashier, the other manager, oh, the manager lady never came by me, she, me, she was still screaming and yelling and you just scream out loud back to her.
Speaker 2No, I didn't I.
Speaker 1the only time I did is when she called her cashier over, and then I was waiting and I'm like, excuse me, can your cashier please just finish what I'm doing here and I can get out of here? Listen, we got a freaking emergency here. So the moral of that story although I rushed it a little bit is that the customer service in this world is dead man. Oh yeah, oh, for real, go to any Burger King next to you.
Speaker 2Burger Kings have gone downhill Burger Kings. Burger Kings have gone way downhill.
Speaker 3I don't think Burger Kings were ever on the hill. Yeah, they can't go downhill. I think they just fell to where they should be.
Speaker 1They somehow get some money.
Speaker 3They like rebrand and put new paint jobs and different like logos on the seats, and then the stores are just still terrible. So I've never been to a good bk, so I'm uh, you know, I got this thing where I tend to go in places I I don't like going through you sound like exactly like going in fucking dad. Go through the drive-thru, it's fucking faster well it is, and there's nothing that makes me more angry than when I take the time to park my car. Walk in, go, go, order my shit.
Speaker 2They're helping everybody and they help everybody in the drive instead of you, because they're timed.
Speaker 1They do that shit on the bay at the banks too then tony get with.
Speaker 3the fucking times Go through the goddamn drive-thru, and then a couple times I've actually had to say something and ask why I'm being penalized for not being a lazy piece of shit.
Speaker 2It's not being lazy, you just want more control in your life. So you go inside and you want to make sure you're looking at these people in the face, letting them know this is what I want.
Speaker 1I want a number one extra cheese but you gotta think all them cars are like people that were in front of you in line when you got in the store.
Speaker 3If it's just one person usually not, they're still taking orders, you know. But yeah, shit like that. Or when they answer the phone and fucking start something while they're in the middle of helping you, it's, it's the most annoying thing ever I was with this burger kings or somewhere else, anywhere, it happens everywhere, man burger kings, mainly burkings, are the worst, though I I I cannot disagree with you at all I went through a drive-thru on taco bell two days ago.
Speaker 2Kfccs are pretty bad I don't.
Speaker 3I didn't know there were any lots.
Speaker 2I went through a drive-thru on taco bell the other day and I went through it and I started ordering and all I heard was I'm sorry, we're closed. Middle of the day I'm like, fine, I'm glad I didn't get it anyway, because getting a little fat they're not gonna give you a taco bell if their mentality is to say that, trust me, I'm not going to argue with them to make me a meal, because I don't want spit with my cheese. I don't want spit with my soda.
Speaker 3I don't go to Taco Bell pretty much ever. Yeah, it sucks. I legitimately get sick every time any of their food but it clears you out it clears your body. It's like I don't get.
Speaker 2I don't get diarrhea it's like spraying afrin in your nose when you get a nose infection I feel like that's just some weird stereotype like how asians can't drive.
Fast Food Horror Stories
Speaker 3You're the one I didn't start that. I wasn't the originator of that. I wasn't like you with ranch you might have been, you just don't know it but uh, every time I've ever been to taco bell and it's always been this one that's out in a good neighborhood, it's not like some rundown piece of shit like a lot of them they tell me that they are only accepting cash at this time they talk about cash scam which, uh, which I find to be mildly suspicious yeah, I like when they ask cash card, how much is it?
Speaker 1you order your food at the window and you say, oh, I get this, that and the other thing. You're like all right, first window please. And you're like well, how much was it cash?
Speaker 2or charge uh cash we'll do it for 14. It's always even. It's always an even number when it's cash dude five. Even it's got to be exact change, see put it, put it in this cup and then put a lid on it and then give it back to me.
Speaker 3Yeah, when they ask you cash or card and they ask how much you got what are you packing?
Speaker 2can I see open your wall?
Speaker 2if you got cash, well how much you got, I'll just take that. Yeah, right there, that 20 It'll cover your $46 meal. Yeah, taco Bell is not my favorite place, but a gas station story real quick is. I told this before to you too is like one of the times I pull up to a. It was a quick trip, so they're really strict there nowadays and they do things right. Yeah, good neighborhood, clean, friendly service. And it was one of those days where you just you feel like you want to just get everything. So you get a shopping cart not a shopping cart, but like one of those whole basket basket. So you go in there and I mean I picked out two or three different sodas, a couple chips, you know, like a hot dog, one of my little special drinks, and then something you know, something I think I filled out a half gallon ice cream just quick snack and some Pepsi.
Speaker 2You know, I threw it all in there, I put it up to the tender and I forgot I didn't have my wallet on me. So I'm like, oh shit, I have $38 in food here standing right in front of you just on your counter and I'm like I'll be right back, I'll get my wallet in my car, go to my car. It's not there, take off, would you guys take off as well? You just left. You didn't tell her you're coming back. I said I was coming back in the store yeah, you didn't tell her you're not no, I said I'll be right back.
Speaker 1I think I left my how many of your items were perishable.
Speaker 3All of them.
Speaker 1Like the sodas are fine. Those can go back in the cooler the hot dog.
Speaker 2you can't the hot dog's ruined.
Speaker 1You're done.
Speaker 3They probably would have given you the hot dog if you would have had, Especially since you picked it up off the hot dog roller with mouth the drink, the drink I I poured, yeah, that's paired.
Speaker 2So like I didn't go back to that quick trip for like five months because I thought you know, maybe you had to outlast the employees yes, there's always new employees.
Speaker 3There's a fucking picture of you walking out the door by the fucking tape measure.
Speaker 2He didn't steal anything, but he didn't pay for his shit and didn't come back yeah, wasn't that the quick trip that's like at the end of your block?
Speaker 3yeah, yeah, yeah. So now you had to drive like four miles out of your way to get to a quick trip there's a quick, which doesn't matter. As somebody who used to employ you, I know you're not in a hurry to get to work they're like bars in wisconsin quick trips under every fucking corner dude they can build a quick trip faster than they can do anything.
Speaker 2Also, I look at this fucking gas station I thought it was something else and it says kt. I'm like the hell's k.
Speaker 1Oh, it's another quick trip yeah, you go in it, you drive past it. One day you see like a concrete truck there and you're like, oh, I guess I didn't even realize they sold that corner plot it. I must not have been by here in a while. Look pouring concrete already. Wow they, I wonder what's going in. And then you come home from work and there's a line to get gas at the fucking quick trip.
Speaker 2You're like what the imagine how much this motherfucker that made this.
Speaker 1He just made gas stations more elegant eloquent, it's a franchise bro anybody can buy a quick trip every, every area of town has its like top of the line gas station but unfortunately not town, but like it's a speedway in your neighborhood. No, I'm saying the country like quick trips taking over this area, although but there. But have you ever been to Casey General's store country?
Speaker 3Those are great stores Sometimes they can be a little gangster. They're owned by 7-Eleven.
Speaker 1Are they now, or they probably sold out. They used to be originals.
Speaker 2I always thought that Speedway was the best because they gave you the best points.
Speaker 1No, they were. Super America was the best when it was Super America.
Speaker 2Oh my god remember Super America.
Speaker 1Yeah, Super Mom's food, Super Mom's donuts, Super Mom's ice cream, Super Mom's candies it was the best.
Speaker 3Yeah, super America, super America, we never stop.
Speaker 1Dude TV commercials for them?
Speaker 2Do you even remember the slogan, the ringtone, what's it called?
Episode Wrap-up
Speaker 1Yep, so that was another episode of Top Shelf Stories. We're going to round it out here. We like to keep it under an hour. I don't know where we're at now 38. Thanks for listening. Keep telling your friends about it. We got t-shirts. If you find a way to reach out to us, you should do that. We're on the Twitter under T Shelf Stories. You've got to search the letter T Shelf Stories and that's about it. Thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you later. Huh, do this again, huh.
Speaker 2Never forget your local quick trip.
