Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Snow Wars
We dive deep into the psychology and tactics of snow removal, exploring everything from avoiding responsibility to neighborhood snow-clearing dynamics. Our lighthearted debate reveals how something as simple as clearing a driveway can expose personality traits, living situations, and neighborly relationships.
• Different approaches to snow removal based on housing situation
• The struggle with heavy, packed snow left by municipal plows
• Battery-powered snow tools and their effectiveness for different snow types
• Snowblower maintenance and usage strategies
• The unspoken pressure of maintaining snow-cleared property near professionally serviced homes
• Extending snow removal efforts to help neighbors
• The contrast between minimal effort (single paths) and maximum clearing (widened driveways)
Just admit it You're afraid of snow. So, if you prepare for snow, what do you do at your house, as far as like if you just wait for all the snow to come down and then plow, shovel your driveway, or do you do it in like?
Speaker 3:For the people at home, Jay. Doesn't have a driveway, lives in a fucking apartment like a teenager.
Speaker 1:I don't need to cut my grass, I don't need to blow my snow away. I don't need to do anything outside.
Speaker 2:I don't do any of that either oh yeah, you have that's right.
Speaker 1:You have people that do it for you. You got in-house living groundskeepers yeah, groundskeepers that that take care of your house and surroundings.
Speaker 3:I have someone who takes care of the snow for me too yeah fucking mother nature you ever heard of her gets warm out soon you have like an ice rink in your, in your driveway for months it's always so bad just one path along your sidewalk. Dude it's so bad I get. If I get the snowblower running I'll clean it up real nice. And then I make my driveway like wisconsin gigantic driveway where half my side like because I'll plow the snow three foot off each side.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just make it bigger the world's largest driveway you see the news.
Speaker 1:The new plow thing is you can get like battery powered. Almost look like weed whackers are you watching infomercials again? I watch them all the time I'm never gonna get it because they don't have a driveway. But have you seen those? Do you think those actually work?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they do.
Speaker 3:For like drifting snow.
Speaker 2:Until you get a real Wisconsin packy snow.
Speaker 3:So what I keep clean is the end of the driveway where the fucking plow plows it in every time, so the plow comes through the street and then I got the fucking plow plows it in every time, so the plow comes through the street and then I got the heaviest snow bank, the heaviest salt snow mix.
Speaker 1:It won't go through the blower, so then I'm out there with the fucking shovel does that turn into a giant speed bump for you when you get driving into your driveway?
Speaker 2:well, that's what that can also turn into a fence. It's the ultimate.
Speaker 3:It's the ultimate, I mean you have to make a decision. One thing that happens is I know my wife's gonna get home before me if it snows like during the day and the plows come through and I know that's just ramming speed. She's just gonna ramming speed in there could tear off the rear bumper.
Speaker 1:Who knows what'll happen once you drive over it, walk over it, whatever, then it turns to shit ice and you're fucked.
Speaker 3:Well, this is stuff. At the end of the road it's all like, yeah, then you're mixed in with all the salt and it's like a slush it won't go through the snowblower.
Speaker 2:So you gotta like shovel it yeah, but your, your 24 volt broom you're trying to buy would probably handle it pretty good I've used one of those things.
Speaker 3:Actually, let me guess Amy's got one At my grandpa's house. He's got hundreds of everything. It was like a battery plug in the wall. I think it was plugged in the wall, powered though, but it was super lightweight and it was all the drifts. Grandpa's got a bit of land there and the snow drifts up against the house and you couldn't go on the back patio, you couldn't even go out the back door. So I was down there just cutting it like hair and making shelves like layers as I was going down and it was chucking the snow. But it was like dry, airy, yeah, yeah, still like something. These they're. What do they call them power shovels?
Speaker 1:yeah, I don't fucking know I call them something I don't need.
Speaker 2:That's got to be a tough product to advertise, like you got to wait for just the right snow that it works on well, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I mean, if you got after it, it would take care of it, like if you lived in an area where it's not good for. Here, though, we might get 17 inches of heavy packing snow overnight, one night Like maybe not that many, but and then there's no way you bought enough batteries to make it through that.
Speaker 3:Well, I'll tell you, the old man, he's got the battery operated. I forget I got the same easy go or whatever the green big batteries. He's got a whole bank of batteries. It runs off a bank of batteries, my God. And he's got the weed whacker, blower, snow blower. The snow blower is mean dude. It takes double battery, I think, and it runs like anything battery, I think and it runs like it'll anything it works as well as my uh menards brand aaron's snowblower, whatever the menards brand is do that thing.
Speaker 3:I haven't changed the spark plug in it, I haven't changed the oil, I just put gas in it and it starts four poles every every time I got a, I got a toro that does that. You know I don't use it very often, it's only when my plow lady's sick, I end up using my like once every other year well, it hasn't been snowing that that month.
Speaker 1:Mine still tucked away.
Speaker 3:I don't if I don't hear eight to ten inches, I'm not bringing it out. And even even that, if I'm not home, I mean it's just going to sit there.
Speaker 1:You just let that shit melt.
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, got to get the sidewalk though but Just one path.
Speaker 2:That's all you're obligated to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just enough to get your feet through Single file, two for each wheel For the vehicle On the sidewalk.
Speaker 3:No, I thought you meant the actual driveway. But if I do fire that thing up, the whole block's getting their shit done. I do it all. I'll run it until I'm out of fuel. Every time I start that thing, pretty much I'm running it till it's out of fuel. Here comes chris with the snowblower up. I going to go operate the snowblower. I'll load up like two podcasts. Get the ears, get ready.
Speaker 2:Backpack.
Speaker 3:I'll get the corners both Cause I'm near a corner.
Speaker 1:I'll get the corner and then they do the same thing when you're cutting in the grass too. No, you're like I'll just start cutting, I'll start cutting someone's lawn and like partially cut it. And like partially cut it.
Speaker 3:Now the house next to me, though it makes me look bad. Before it was another guy who just kind of like yeah, take care of a little bit of the snow for us people to come around. But now there's, they sold the house and someone else hasn't moved in yet, which is flipping odd to me. It's been like eight months, 10 months, something like this, but they haven't moved in yet. Yeah, but there's always, oh, one weekend there's someone in there tearing out. This One weekend there's another guy in there doing this. They have the other thing, but they have landscapers, and so every time it snows, those money, grubby snow guys are like, yep, one inch down, yeah, we'll go plow you out. They charge you so they come out and they do a great job, but they stop right at the plot line. They don't go any further. And then there's my stretch Fascinating stuff.
Speaker 3:This all came up because it's going to snow. This is a mini episode.
Speaker 2:Why don't you stop it, so we can start a real podcast?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just get a little banter on.
