Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
A Glimpse into the World of Degenerate Gamblers
Gambling, while often associated with big wins, comes with its fair share of regrets and realities. In this episode, we discuss our personal gambling experiences, the highs and lows at various casinos, strategies for slots and blackjack, and the captivating psychology behind why we keep playing, despite the odds.
• Exploring personal experiences at casinos
• Discussing strategies and secrets of slot machines
• Defining what it means to be a 'degenerate gambler'
• The psychology behind gambling and internal rules
• Sharing humorous and cautionary blackjack tales
• Notable takeaways on gambling and human experiences
thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining us in another one of our top shelf stories. Top Shelf Stories. I'm your main host, tony. These are my side hosts, jay and Chris, but once again, I'm the main host.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Tony, for having us here. I appreciate it. Yeah, tony, it's great to have you, no problem. So, as you guys know, I'm Tony.
Speaker 1:Which one of you are Jay and which one are Chris? Let me check my notes.
Speaker 2:The voice that sounds a little less normal is Jay.
Speaker 1:All right, and I'm Chris. All right, nice to meet you guys. Nice to meet you guys.
Speaker 3:Thanks for having us to your podcast so.
Speaker 1:Jay, I hear you want to come on my podcast and talk about being a Holocaust denier.
Speaker 2:No, but I really wanted to do okay. So when's the last guy, when's the last time you guys been to, uh, pottawatomie, we're, uh, we're um so so this, this podcast, is actually worldwide.
Speaker 1:Jay, I know this is your first time on a show. Okay, it's hard for you to understand that. Like you're using a very, very local reference, I think what you meant to say was when was the last time you were at a native american casino?
Speaker 2:there you go when's the last time you were at a casino last week, a casino that actually gives you money?
Speaker 3:it's been a while since I've been to the casino probably over a year, okay so what's the reason why you don't go to that often, Chris? I gamble all my monies on shit coins in the cryptocurrency casinos that are on my phone.
Speaker 2:But then you're not an immediate gambler, basically.
Speaker 3:Oh no, you haven't been playing Solana. Shit coins that can go from zero to a hundred or a hundred to zero in a nanosecond.
Speaker 2:That's true, but I was just recently at pot of water.
Speaker 1:You can get a rush while you're taking a dump at work with these things bro are we talking about this one that I've been hearing about so so frequently?
Speaker 3:we're not going to talk about that.
Speaker 1:We're not talking about crypto Any particular coins right now we're talking about casinos. Casinos. Okay, we're talking about casinos, not pork.
Speaker 2:All right, so we're from the Pork Lower state of Wisconsin. We're from Milwaukee.
Speaker 1:I believe it's like almost the uppermost state.
Speaker 2:I'm saying lower part of the state Okay Of Wisconsin, milwaukee, like almost the uppermost state. I'm saying lower part of of the state okay of wisconsin milwaukee. We live in a major metropolitan area of milwaukee, wisconsin yeah, so they have the possibly the worst casino ever created by I disagree, yeah, why?
Speaker 3:do you think it's bad?
Speaker 2:okay. So, uh, the last six times I've been there, okay, I play fine. Stop playing penny spinners. I play slots. That's fine, you know, I mean it's it's like the worst thing to play.
Speaker 1:You lose the most well, that's for the word yeah, that's for the.
Speaker 2:I am a novice. That's for old biddies. Hey, I do have three chips in my hands that's, that's the old blue hairs.
Speaker 1:They go in there and they put their $10 in Blue hairs.
Speaker 2:Blue hairs, so like the old women that dye their hair white but it turns out blue, mm-hmm. Okay, I get it. No, I lose a lot of money there, and I lost, I don't know, a couple hundred last time I was there, which was this past weekend.
Speaker 3:So hundred. Last time I was there, which was this past weekend. So what's your slot strategy? You like bang it all into one? Do you like to do like 10 spins and then move, or do you have like pure emotional? I'm up, I'm down?
Speaker 1:well, chris j has a tried and true strategy. I would almost call it a system listen, this is a system.
Speaker 2:Okay, I go in there there with as many 20s as it possibly can get and I go to each machine.
Speaker 3:So a small bill $20 bill.
Speaker 2:Throw it into the first one. Usually I stick with the quarter machines or the ones that don't have as much shit on it, like those machines that have all those characters and all those.
Speaker 1:You do the three wheels.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't deal with the fucking, crazy, fucking panda, bears and alligators that come out at you I do you want to feel like you're in a casino in the? 1920s, exactly the ones where you used to get the fucking uh shit, they would. It would come out at you and you have a bucket of change instead of having a ticket.
Speaker 1:They actually still have that in a couple of the casinos in Las Vegas and it's actually crazy, dude. Them coins actually have a smell to them.
Speaker 2:Dude, there's nothing better than winning $100 in coins and hearing them dent the shit out of the thing that holds them.
Speaker 1:I need another bucket.
Speaker 2:That was the most like that was when I first started. First uh casino ever went to. I won like I don't like 500 bucks you were hooked coins. It was like you, you, yeah, you just had your first house pallet jack.
Speaker 2:Yes, so what I? What my strategy always was and always is, is $20 in a thing. If I get above $20, if I at least double it, I take that slip out that you get, put it in my back pocket and go to the next machine with another $20. And I keep doing that until I build up enough of the slips to get over what I came there with.
Speaker 3:So you don't want to put a slip back in the machine? No, I never put a slip back in the machine.
Speaker 2:Why? Because that's my winnings, so I go up above 20. Say, I put a 20 in the machine and then I hit like I don't know, I win 40 bucks. But other machines, the 20 busts you just let it bust, then I leave, then I go to another machine, so basically I won. Okay, so maybe I won $100 on one with a $20. So then I have $80 more where I could lose $60 and still be ahead because I still have that $20. And basically the odds of me losing are less Huge.
Speaker 3:But what if you start 0 for $4 and you down 80 bucks but usually a cool 80 gone?
Speaker 2:but for some reason I always find that one machine. I just I put it in you always play the max.
Speaker 2:Sounds like you've played every machine there yeah, you always play the max and, uh, if you don't get it, if you don't get it within 20, you're not gonna get it. You go to the next one. Really, so usually I always come out ahead. But then when I go to the casino with someone like my wife or friend, I for some reason I always just feel like throwing hundreds in and then I play that machine until my hundred is gone.
Speaker 3:It's usually gone pretty quick. You don't know how to walk away with a slip not in profit. Yes, unless I'm by myself. You can't go down a loser at the machine. Yeah, no, because I like to play the slots too, but I like the ones that have all the fucking wheels and fancy and this and that and I jump from one to the other. Normally I do 10 spins each machine.
Speaker 2:I don't understand those. If it doesn't hit 10, spins.
Speaker 3:I'm on to the next. What is there to understand? You just hit the fucking button.
Speaker 2:There's so many stupid things Like you could have one bet that's $50. You have no idea what you just bet and it's like gone like that.
Speaker 3:Why are you?
Speaker 2:betting 50 bucks. No, I'm saying you go to a penny machine and for some reason, you hit the max bet of 200 lines and fucking this and that, and then all of a sudden it's a $50 bet $73 in pennies, yeah, I'm like I've done that. I'm like what the fuck? I only get two fucking rolls off 100?. What happened? It was a penny machine. That's bullshit. Penny machines are full of shit.
Speaker 1:I hate them. They're a scam. They're made to trick old people.
Speaker 2:I don't know man, but you can gamble with one penny, but you're never going to win anything.
Speaker 3:You can't. And you can sit there all day long drinking free soda. You can't. You can spend one line, you can spend one line 100%.
Speaker 2:You cannot. I don't think you can spend one penny, but you can spend one line.
Speaker 1:The lowest amount you can bet is 75 cents.
Speaker 2:Is this 75 cents.
Speaker 3:Are you sure? I don't believe you.
Speaker 2:He might be right. I was just there. I don't believe you. So Chris you, I don't believe you. So, chris, you like those crazy penny machines With all the fucking weird shit on it.
Speaker 3:I take. My strategy is to go with as much Cash as I can get a hands on, get on down there and I'll spin a machine. I'll pick a row and normally I like to start with the pennies, maybe nickels. Depends how many shekels I can manage to get down there.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? A row?
Speaker 3:Like a row, like there's 15 machines in a row.
Speaker 1:He doesn't like to spread himself around.
Speaker 3:All these machines are right here. I'll go and I'll put my $100 bill in and I'll spin every line for one cent. So it'll be like Tony says, like 75 cents or a dollar and a quarter spin or something or whatever. Two bucks a spin. Tap that shit 10 times. Then I'll take my ticket out and move to the next one. Tap that shit 10 times. Move to the next.
Speaker 2:Tap that shit 10 times Tap that shit 10 times. That's a strategy, but I'll walk for 15 minutes before I sit down and put another 20 in. I don't play around Sometimes.
Speaker 3:Then I'll go A lot of times. I like to go to the video roulette machines. Yeah, so it's just you and the roulette table, with a bunch of other people playing too. But they're all on their machine and you can throw. I think the lowest you can go is 50 cents 50 cents on the table, Maybe a dollar. You got to go like a dollar on the inside dollar on the outside.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to play Ouellette.
Speaker 3:I know the answer to this, but you can just play like you can hedge your bet, so you could like put $5 on red and $5 on some random numbers on the inside and then, if one of your random numbers on the inside hits, boom back to the machines. 10 smaps on that, 10 smaps on that. Sometimes I like to play poker, video poker that's Tony's game, but that also does require you to like. All right, I'm going to sit here for a minute, I'm going to chill out, I'm going to just play this hands. You got to play like 100 hands to make sense, in my opinion.
Speaker 1:So does anybody know? And then I do blackjack.
Speaker 3:The textbook definition of degenerate yeah, well, we have these devices here right at the table in the podcasting, without looking at a phone.
Speaker 2:Let me just give you my okay dictionary uh equivalents. It's what did you say? Again, what was the word degenerate? Degenerate can you put it in a sentence? Someone that takes your money without uh doing something else in exchange for I doubt that's webster's official uh, basically sucking a dick without asking for money I don't think that's it yeah that's probably wrong.
Speaker 3:I just scrolled a bit and I did not see anything like that on the definitions here, but I will tell you that the first thing that popped up from Oxford Languages is degenerate, having lost the physical, mental or moral qualities considered normal and desirable, showing evidence of decline are we talking about your dad now, or something, tony?
Speaker 2:no, that's how I gamble, you gamble like a degenerate.
Speaker 1:I've been told I'm a degenerate.
Speaker 3:I don't know what that means lacking some property or order or distinctness why are? You not wearing structure previously or usually present.
Speaker 1:See this tattoo I got about 18 years ago, ridiculous. It's a video poker machine. That's what I love.
Speaker 2:He's rubbing his thigh right now. I got a lucky horseshoe.
Speaker 1:Weird moans and I got a welcome to Milwaukee in the same style as the welcome to Las Vegas sign.
Speaker 2:Do you see that you got on your leg, which actually was a good choice. Not many people can see it.
Speaker 1:I fucking love to gamble.
Speaker 3:So what does it mean to be a degenerate gambler?
Speaker 2:Tony will tell you he is one.
Speaker 3:A degenerate gambler is another word for a compulsive gambler or a gambling addict. You could bet on anything.
Speaker 1:I'll take that bet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like those odds. I'll give you 10 to 1.
Speaker 3:You're in the final stage of the gambling addiction curve.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not betting today. I'll give you 10 to 1 odds, so I can go.
Speaker 1:I can go for years without gambling.
Speaker 2:I have but then when you get the taste of the tit, um I.
Speaker 1:I set rules for myself because my addictive personality in regards to gambling. I will not go to an atm in a gambling establishment. I will not go out to my car to get more money.
Speaker 3:If I have more money in my car, um, I will I will borrow from people you'll bring power from people rules are meant to be, hit me with a hundred, your power from people um yeah, I forgot to tell the part of my story where I go back to my wife who's playing blackjack and take all of her profit chips out of her pocket and go catch them in for more slaps on the machine but uh, yeah, I do video poker or um, I should just stick to regular poker, like in-person poker, because I do such a time commitment I
Speaker 3:do much, much, much better at that yeah, but you're there for like eight straight hours. Dude, that's the best dude tony did uh, drinking little tiny things of orange soda from the machines at the casino tony did one of those tournaments Poker tournaments.
Speaker 1:I've done lots of tournaments.
Speaker 2:Anyway, okay, he describes one of them because he says I told him we were gambling the day before and Tony's like I'm coming here tomorrow to do a poker tournament, like yeah, I'll come check you out. This is when I was drinking a little bit, so you know I fib a little. So he, this is when I was drinking a little bit, so you know I, you know I fib a little. So he's like jay, I was, I was looking at the door.
Speaker 1:I was waiting for him to come. He never came, just like my dad reminiscence of my father.
Speaker 2:Anyway, uh, that was the funny part that he said, watching the window, what I was gonna say.
Speaker 1:Though you were like there for like 12 fucking hours playing poker and that was just like if you get to the next round, and if I would have got further, I would have been there even longer insane.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when you do this, like you're in a set of what five people run a it's basically what? Okay, what is it is what it's on, like it's on tv, basically you're around and then you're. If you're the last person on that table, you move on, or no, no, uh.
Speaker 1:So in most tournament play um there there's incremented times and and breaks and a lot of times they'll, they'll, they'll hand you um cards, like at different different levels of the tournament. Like you'll get to level 10 and then they'll go to every player. They'll just grab a stack of cards and they'll, they'll hand them out to everybody and it'll say like table three, seat four, and you got to get up and move to a different table. So you don't play. You usually don't like wipe out one whole table and then move to another table. They won't let the action. How do they configure that?
Speaker 3:It's tricky. Well, they want to keep like five to nine people at each table. Yeah, they don't want a lot of heads up until the end.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they won't let any table get below like four people.
Speaker 3:They want every pot to contain like four or five people's aunties.
Speaker 2:That's when they start breaking the tables up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so if I'm at, you know, like when I went and played World Series of Poker, there was, fuck dude, there had to be 40 or 50 tables. Yeah, set up in a conference room at pot of wannabe um, what does it get?
Speaker 2:what is it to get involved in that? How much do you have to pay?
Speaker 1:uh, I I've done a couple of them. I think I've done them for like 250 and I think I've done them for like 400 so if you don't get to the top, whatever you don't, you lose everything yeah, well, yeah they, they pay off to like 20th place and there's how many people and I think how many people usually an average five one thousand five hundred the cheaper ones there there's probably almost a thousand, but the more expensive ones will be like 400, 400 people or so okay and a lot of them right.
Speaker 3:There's satellite tournaments where, like, the top 20 or whatever are invited to play in the main tournament as well as you win money, or the top one or the whatever right so, yeah, the the more expensive satellite I played, uh, they paid.
Speaker 1:They paid out to like 10th place and second place got like the most amount of money and first place got a free ticket into the next tournament.
Speaker 2:I'd rather have this. I'd rather be second place.
Speaker 1:Well not really because you know they pay you out, like whatever, 800 bucks or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:Oh, that was it.
Speaker 1:No, it was much more than that, but they pay you out $5,000. But the next tournament you get to go into is, you know, an $8,000 buy-in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but if you're not top 20, you lose it no matter what, you lose it regardless. I guess. Yeah, yeah, it's called gambling. Yeah, but are you a chip, uh, player? Are you a chip, uh, fondler? Yes, so you fondle the shit out of your chips? Yeah, I do. Are you good at too like? Can you flip them almost like?
Speaker 1:like shuffle a stack yeah, stack of decks or uh cards or cards. I mean, I don't sit there and do that obsessively, but I have to have one or two of them in my hand.
Speaker 2:Why is that? I don't know You're doing it.
Speaker 1:Like exactly what you're doing in your hand.
Speaker 3:You've been doing it for the last two hours.
Speaker 1:I sit and do that. I like it though.
Speaker 2:I tonight, I can't stop. You know what it is.
Speaker 1:It's the way you, uh, you think it's the easier way for you to think like concentrate but but like I don't go in there with them fucking ridiculous sunglasses and a hat and put my hood off. That was the next question.
Speaker 2:Like act like a fucking complete idiot so you have no glasses, no hat no, you're. When you make a bet, no hat, no, when you make a bet. Let me ask you this when you make a bet and maybe it's a big bet, you've done a big bet before do you look down, do you look up? Do you look at the person that you're betting against? What do you do with your eyes? What do you do with your body?
Speaker 1:I don't know. Maybe that's kind of why I might be better at it than a lot of people, because I don't, I don't really oh, believe you have towels, I'm sure yeah, I'm sure I, but I don't really care, like if I got a hand that I know is very good, like I'm not excited or nervous yeah, you, you, you have blank face for everything in your life actually.
Speaker 1:It's hard to tell if you're happy or sad sometimes and most of the time, like when I go play poker, which I did last week, and last time I played poker before, that was like a month before that, and then the time before that was a year ago. And I go back to Vegas in like a month before that and then the time before that was a year ago, um, and I go back to vegas in like a month and a half and I'll probably play poker for like four straight days, jesus christ it's insanity and it seems so boring.
Speaker 2:My uh father-in-law lives with me. He's obsessed with it. He watches the tv programs, he plays it on his phone, yeah, and it's like so fucking boring. It's the boring shit it's.
Speaker 1:I'd rather watch golf or what else is a terrible sport baseball when there's like nothing going on, but most of the time I just have my headphones in and I'm not even fucking paying attention to like anything that people are like talking to each other.
Speaker 3:You're supposed to read people, though that was always my weakness, I felt like in poker, was I wanted to be a part of every hand. The ability to wait for your hand was something I always struggled with, so I would always like oh, it's eight bucks, I'll just put a little bit in here. I might phase them on this one. I'll try to bluff and then you, just you, don't wait for your hand. You know, because we used to play a lot of poker back in the day, but that was like kids with nothing else to do, like 25, 20 to 25 years old or whatever. We were just hanging out drinking beer, playing ogre the house.
Speaker 2:Did you actually play for some good money or just fun?
Speaker 3:no, like quarters ten dollar buy-in or something you know that's, that's ridiculous it was fun.
Speaker 2:I thought you were better. I thought you're a gambler no yeah, I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I've spent a lot of my a lot of my time playing cards and I fucking love it we should have.
Speaker 2:We should play cards, we should play cards like at the casino or in person. In person, because I'd beat your fucking ass. We'd need a group. So what happened, jay?
Speaker 3:with your trip to the casino. I think that's where this started. Right Was your trip to the casino.
Speaker 1:I can finish it for him. He came home, broke His wife was pissed at him.
Speaker 2:No, actually a little bit. You're halfway there, she bet a bunch. So we're at her works party. I got $100 in singles. It was a work party, the guy's rich giving out free money to everybody. There you pick an envelope and in every envelope there's a cash prize. My dumb ass. And she should have said don't grab the fat thick one, she's the one who packed them all, don't grab she's the one Jay's grabbing.
Speaker 1:She's like what a fucking idiot.
Speaker 3:She probably did tell him like six times too.
Speaker 2:No, I picked it up. I picked that bitch up. Grab number 26J. Okay, I picked that bitch up. I'm like why is no one picking the thick, fat one? Everyone looks up in the air and doesn't look at me. I'm like, fine, fuck you, I'm picking it, I take it out. It's $100 in singles.
Speaker 1:Everyone else is getting $200, 400, I get a hundred. What the fuck am I fine, whatever, that's not too bad.
Speaker 2:You're not even supposed to be there, you know how long it took me to put those singles in the fucking slot machines. On one slot machine I put a. I put like 30 dollars in. It took me like a minute and a half. Sounds like a better use of your time than just losing it.
Speaker 3:Right? Were you pressing the gamble button while you were continuing to feed them in? Because that's what I probably would have been like.
Speaker 1:I don't got time for this shit.
Speaker 3:I would have got to the 10 and be like all right, I'm going to start hitting the machine and then I would still feed them in while slapping that 10 down.
Speaker 2:So I had $ dollars in my pocket, I had that hundred dollars.
Speaker 1:I lost both of those within 10 minutes and then I went to the atm, which tony's uh disagrees that's my rule, and it sucks too when you lose your money real quick, yeah, and like I'm there with my wife and she's like I'll just run to the atm and I'm like, no, really your wife instigates it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I cannot, my wife tells me not to go there I cannot break my fucking rules.
Speaker 1:So I go to the atm see my wife. My wife lets me go out and do things though, so it's different.
Speaker 3:See, I got a soft. Not go to the atm machine rule, but it always happens and when I go to the machine.
Speaker 1:It's more of a don't go to the atm suggestion well, because it's a soft rule.
Speaker 3:Then when I get to the machine I'm like well, the fee is going to be high, so I should take out the maximum amount you know to justify the cost come back again and pay another five, six dollars, I'll just put this other 200 in my back pocket and not use it that never works. It's. It's totally different. It's depend because you know you either spend every dime you have and go home pissed off, yeah, or like playing rap music the whole way, or whatever, like you're just angry but not so I deserved that.
Speaker 3:You say to yourself or you you like, fucking hit it real big, and then you waste half of that still, and then go yeah, because you think you're gonna win big again, right?
Speaker 2:so basically I took out 500 more dollars. I mean that's not a shit ton. I mean it doesn't deserve a laugh like that.
Speaker 1:It was pretty sinister well, considering you're 200 in a hole and you're like I love what's gonna help me get out of this jam, maybe 500 500 more.
Speaker 2:I love how the ATMs at casinos they send you, how they send out the money. They give you $400 in $100 bills and then they give the rest in 20s. Yeah, Like they don't want to give you anything, Okay, anyway. So I went to the first machine with the 100, and I don't like putting in the hundreds and I didn't feel like changing it for 20, so I said fuck it, I just we'll ride. You're like too much time.
Speaker 1:I got 500 bucks to blow through yeah.
Speaker 2:So the first machine, I think I lost most of it and I'm like, fuck it, let's just ride it. I was losing it, just keep riding the 100. And I think I was on the first one for like 20 minutes and then it was gone. So the next one yeah, I lost it again. Next one lost it again. So I'm down 300 more dollars. And then I'm like, let's go to the bar, I need a drink. Got a drink, went to the next machine.
Speaker 2:I went up like $300 on a quarter what you want to say is I went up to only two hundred dollars down yes, exactly, okay, I went up on my hundred dollars, whatever to your example and then, uh, I lost all that because I kept playing that same exact machine, because I thought I would get a jackpot you're like it's hot yeah it's hot yeah it's hot and this old lady next was like keep going, keep going, you got something going.
Speaker 2:I'm like it's so strange how you're lady next to me was like keep going, keep going, you got something going.
Speaker 3:I'm like what the fuck you want, lady, it's so strange how you're sitting at this machine.
Speaker 2:They always talk to you.
Speaker 3:Paying half your rent into the crazy colors and the lady next to you is like go on, little sonny.
Speaker 2:Keep on going and you're like making friends with this lady Dude. The women, the old women, talk to you. It doesn't matter if you don't look at them, it doesn't matter if you don't respond to them, they'll keep talking.
Speaker 3:They're trying to space out their spending. Is that what it is?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because, like the yeah they're like a 105 oxygen machine, pissed off because you can't smoke in there anymore.
Speaker 3:Can you not smoke in the whole casino anymore, right, anywhere.
Speaker 1:There's.
Speaker 3:Designating spots Is there slot machines and poker tables there.
Speaker 2:Actually, there's a whole floor. There's a whole floor there's not blackjack.
Speaker 3:No, because I can't play blackjack without smoking.
Speaker 2:There's a whole floor upstairs for smoking. You can smoke, yeah.
Speaker 1:It might be blackjack up there.
Speaker 2:Do you go out there, or you? Get immediately busy. Oh yeah, dude.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, See, I used to love just sitting Because I didn't really smoke. I haven't smoked for years, but I would always get a pack when we'd go to the casino and you'd sit and play blackjack and smoke cigarettes. You guys are flipping your coins and tickets.
Speaker 2:No, dude, I did the same thing. I loved smoking at the casinos, and so I'm down to, I think, my last $100. Oof $100 bill. After what?
Speaker 3:$600. $600.
Speaker 2:$600, dude bill, after what? 600? And I'm at this one and there's a guy next to me and he's getting all the extra shit.
Speaker 1:you know the so maybe the machine right next to him is going to do the same and I put my money in there.
Speaker 2:So mine finally hit and then it was like a $300 payout. I took that out and I was like, nah, maybe I should just leave. I'm only like I'm down, like you're only down.
Speaker 2:400 60 60 or 70 percent of what I came with. But fuck it, I'm gonna go somewhere else. And then I put it in another machine, the whole 340, I get down to a hundred, and you know you always kind of do it at an even number where you should stop. And then I went below a hundred and I was like oh my god, I'm gonna lose fucking everything. And traces my wife's like she's stop, just stop.
Speaker 1:We have to leave with something like shut up, bitch, just let me finish, and am I to assume that at this point in the night she hasn't even gambled a dollar?
Speaker 2:yet she gambled 30 bucks. She's like she was.
Speaker 3:Like I'm done, she's down there she was done within 20 minutes of being, and I can get with that.
Speaker 1:You're like where's the rest of your bonus, bitch she? Saved it where's your I?
Speaker 2:should have done the same thing. So I'm down, uh, I'm down 100 and I keep going down. You get that gut feeling like just just fucking leave, just you know. You get that the terrible feeling like you're almost out. There's got to be something. Does something happen?
Speaker 1:please.
Speaker 2:I'm the only one in this casino who lost tonight so I'm below 90 and she keeps yelling get out, get out, get out. I'm like what the fuck's 90 dollars gonna do? 90 dollars is not gonna help my 700 loss. So I kept going, kept going down. I think I was at like almost 60 and then all of a sudden, just boom, it just hit and I got like 400 bucks and then I finally just said fuck this, I'm done, I'll take that. I think it was just under 500, so I lost 200, some dollars.
Speaker 3:So I'm like fuck it, I'm done, now I'm not gonna no, do you ever try to play slots in the high roller machine?
Speaker 2:uh, high roller room I saw those rooms, never went in them though yeah, so try to go in there what's like a hundred dollar roll I think the cheapest one was 25 dollars.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's I've done that before, not, so you just gotta go in with the commitment right off the bat that that's 700 that you lost is already gone. Like just throw it in the machine and start spinning and you will be like down like two 300 bucks, but then you'll hit a win and on the machine it ain't shit but it's like a $400 win and you're you know, that's why I like that. The thrill of the-.
Speaker 2:You go to those? Oh, yeah, you go to those. With how much money, though?
Speaker 3:Like I said, you gotta go If you're going into the casino with like 500 bucks, that you're like I'm going to play with 500 bucks, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I only got 10 minutes.
Speaker 3:Well, and you just are like I'm going to fucking risk it. No biscuit, oh, risk it, just go for it. The high roller room, because a big win in the high roller room is insane. It's like fucking insane. All right, you win $ thirty thousand dollars on a machine, right, yeah, but a small win is like still like a couple thousand. If you put the, if you hit, if you just think in your head that any of these machines that I play are gonna pay me out five times what I put in it. One out of ten times, like you know, like the odds are still against you, but you just understand the odds and you realize I'm to play this game anyways. I'm going to go into the big roller room and only hit five times and just see what happens, but you'll lose $300 in eight minutes.
Speaker 3:And you have to walk out with your tailbone in your legs out of money.
Speaker 2:So are they confusing machines?
Speaker 3:No, they have a lot of your simple machines because you're putting $5 on each line, not a penny. So you do a five by five, deal $5, five lines, three row, ding, ding, ding, ding ding. You know.
Speaker 2:Those are the ones I like. I don't like those confusing ones.
Speaker 1:So I was playing video poker at our local Native American casino and I'm watching. There. There's this old guy and he's in the the bank of machines that are max bet of three and each credit is a hundred dollars, so he's betting $300 a spin on all three. Right, so he, he's playing that machine and he wins like 20 grand, okay but he might have already spun through yeah, yeah, yeah, grand so that really, it really isn't like that big of a deal, right you're?
Speaker 1:you're betting 300 every spin, 20 grand. I mean it's a lot of fucking money, right, but that's only like it's 12x or something like that not even so, but anytime, anytime you win in the high roller room like you're not cashing out for a little money, so most of the time when you win it's a hand pay, so he's waiting for the lady to pay him, yeah, and he jumps on the machine next to him he just whips out a new billfold with a new set of 300, he's fucking, he's fucking cranking hundreds in there.
Speaker 1:He put like two, three thousand dollars in fucking first spin. He wins a hundred and fifty thousand dollars and you know, then they come over and they're like, oh my god, great win, you know. And uh, they start paying him out on the first win and now they got to go start a new thing. So he jumps on the next machine and he puts another fucking several thousand dollars and and he lost that. But I'm like this guy is fucked up.
Speaker 3:Dude, yeah, I was in Vegas and I was at Caesars and I was just sitting at a machine just like wasting time just sitting there, you know, like sipping my drink chilling.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I was watching this woman and, yeah, she went through like $10,000 in a matter of seconds, damn, $10,000 in a matter of seconds, damn and just whipped out her card, swiped it again, loaded the machine with 20 grand, blasted near through almost all of it and took off Like it was nothing. Yeah, like probably lost like $16,000.
Speaker 2:You gotta think of it 12 minutes. You gotta think of it in different increments, like someone that has a lot of money. Increments like ours is like 20. Like, say, you lose 200 bucks, you're like, fuck, I lost 200 bucks, right, her 200 hours is 20 000. Sick, it's sick. It's like just the way it is for rich fucking people.
Speaker 1:I mean I so, because I know so, my, my rules that I have put in play for myself for gambling. They're very specific and I know if I start breaking them I'm just going to go fucking nuts, I'm going to be fucking going down there every fucking minute.
Speaker 2:So why do they call you always a degenerate gambler, degenerate, degenerate gambler? It's just a phrase. I know, I don't know. He's not a degenerate gambler, degenerate, degenerate gambler, just a phrase.
Speaker 1:I know, I don't know he's not a degenerate gambler.
Speaker 3:He's got a car, he's got a house. Doesn't that fuck with you?
Speaker 2:Don't those words just kind of fuck with?
Speaker 3:you Degenerate, did you got a gambler.
Speaker 2:Go ahead, Tony, but uh. You're a but when I go to my local Native American casino, Would you just? Call it home, you're mocking me now.
Speaker 1:Are you a fucker? I have a $200 maximum. Oh, that ain't worth fucking driving down there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, that's not even worth it.
Speaker 1:I will not go in there with a fucking penny more, unless I'm specifically going to play poker.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're not a degenerate dude.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not Dude. You have to have at least almost a thousand to actually get action going.
Speaker 1:If I fucking set that standard for myself, I will be justifying it every fucking week. Yeah, I don't go that.
Speaker 2:So you go that often then I don't go very much.
Speaker 3:500 bucks is what I bring.
Speaker 1:So it usually depends on, like, maybe once or twice a year, me and Michelle go down together, so you you just get these and I'll just decide like I'll get off work early and I'll be downtown and I'll be like, well, I'm spending the rest of my day at Pottle.
Speaker 3:When I was a traveling salesman, I absolutely stopped at a lot of casinos and when I was doing that I was a hundred bucks. I would just go in with a hundred bucks, slap it through the machine. I would never stay for more than a half an hour.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this Honestly I would never stay for more than a half an hour.
Speaker 3:Let me ask you this Honestly I would do like that. I'd use the points to get the meal, or whatever.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you this You've done that many times. Have you ever had a situation where you were like, oh my God, I want tons of money?
Speaker 3:Like hundreds, not tons, because, like I said so, then really gambling is for just fun.
Speaker 2:Quit looking at my hand. I'm trying to figure out. Put mine when your hand is fucking all calloused and false standing next to mine.
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, I'm not so yeah, so I I gotta realize that pottawatomie is overall a shit casino. It is when it comes to anything that plugs in. That's true. Table games are the table games, dude, I know. But but I I also found out that their card shufflers that they use now, um, can actually sort the deck completely. What does that mean? They can put it one through king or ace through king of hearts, but I thought, when they it can sort them out to factory so the actual shuffling machines can read the cards and put them in certain orders.
Speaker 2:So I thought they have like seven decks they use for like they do.
Speaker 1:But they know that they can assume that the table's full and put it on a mix that your average blackjack table is whatever five spots. So if the table's full, there's six sequences of cards going out you're telling me I can't, so they can make every six hands be a.
Speaker 3:They really can't, but they could probably get pretty damn close because they can do it. Like you're saying, the machines are connected to computers that can shuffle a deck however it wants to shuffle it, but people are going to draw, pick and and hit and stand on different shit, right fives and sixes, or 16s and 15s but I'm saying, I'm saying it's, it's another way that you know the saying the deck stacked against you, like that's why I gotta play the wheel fortune.
Speaker 3:You know what's the what? The wheel of fortune machine where it's the man that spins the fucking wheel yeah, so now?
Speaker 1:so now, if I'm playing cards, like if I'm playing poker, that's different, because the casino doesn't have a stake in it. Well, they just want you to keep playing. They have a rake, which is much different, yep. They just want the volume, but if I'm going to sit at a table playing against the casino for something, it's only gonna be hand shuffled. And what games are those?
Speaker 2:though blackjack pitch mainly okay. So I played blackjack when I was just there. Really strange thing happened. I don't know I I've only played blackjack twice in my life based in the casino, um and then I got two eights. I didn't know, like I know that you can take, like split them and split. I'm like I didn't know what the word was or what to say. I'm like can I can take these cards apart and, uh, gamble on both of them? She's like split them, like yeah, bitch, yeah, so everybody's gonna start somewhere, bro. She split them, okay, and then I hit on the eight. Obviously.
Speaker 3:Or no, no, no, no, you got another eight they throw me two more.
Speaker 2:They throw me two more, one more card in each one. And then I got like I don't know, 14. And I hit on that one and I busted. And then I on the other one, I got another fucking eight. It, it's just like do you want to split again? I'm like bitch, you already took 50 dollars from me. No, that's not. But again, that's not odd, that happens almost every time. And I said, no, I'm gonna stay.
Speaker 1:And then she obviously got like an 18, I think. Yeah, I stayed at 16. It happens I've done it when I'm playing blackjack pitch. That's usually single or double deck and it moves fucking fast, would you hit it? 16?
Speaker 2:it depends on what the dealer had you can see what the dealer has, what their card deck off is.
Speaker 3:I didn't even look at what the fuck it was.
Speaker 2:I think it was a face card. So a face card, yeah pretty sure it was a face card.
Speaker 1:So on a face card.
Speaker 2:she can only hit so many times and then she'll bust. So on a face card she's more likely to bust.
Speaker 1:Is that what it is On a face card? No, on a face card, you're pretty much assuming that she has 20. That the other one's going to be a face card, because there's the most face cards in the deck. But no, there is, there's more face cards than anything One through ten and then Jack.
Speaker 2:Queen, King.
Speaker 1:How is there more face cards?
Speaker 3:So if there's seven decks, Just do one deck, dude, don't start with seven, yeah, do one deck.
Speaker 2:There's not more face cards there, absolutely is.
Speaker 3:How? Because there's only four aces, or aces don't go, there's only four twos. Yeah, it's not only four aces, or the aces don't go. There's only four, two, there's only four, threes, there's only four fours, yada, yada, yada, but there's five sets of tens, so there's 25 sets of kings king is a 10. There's four of those, and then the eight, the queen is a 10 there's 16 tens in the deck my fault.
Speaker 2:Okay, in that instance.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're right, so I was saying so, you always assume that the card that's facing down is another 10 got you. So she's showing a 10 and I have a pair of eights. Yeah, I personally am not splitting them because I gotta assume at best'm going to have two 18s against her 20.
Speaker 2:You don't want to lose more.
Speaker 1:So at 16, I'm better off just taking a hit and more than likely busting and just losing one money.
Speaker 3:I'm a stander on 16. I did stand at 16.
Speaker 1:I lost. But if she has and I know I'm gender labeling my dealer right now but if she is showing a five, if she is showing a five, if she is showing a five and I got, I got a 16 I'm probably hitting that because you are probably staying on it I'm probably staying on 16 because I got to assume that she has a 10 under, so she's gonna have 15 and then she's gonna pull another 10.
Speaker 1:So I mean you just got to play the odds like I would never split eights against the 10 well, thank you very much.
Speaker 2:I did, yeah, and that's fine. I didn't know what the fuck to do. I knew that I was like hey, I got two of the same I could do something extra.
Speaker 1:I'm also like. Michelle plays blackjack with me when we go to the casino and she's always nervous because she's worried about everybody getting pissed oh, because you take their car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and she's been yelled at, and all this other shit, who cares?
Speaker 1:yeah fuck them. I don't fuck off, I don't ever fucking care when somebody is playing what I would consider to be stupid, because I can't believe your wife would be, and really in the end we're both probably going to lose, yeah, so what the fuck does it matter? I can't believe your wife would be that would think like that.
Speaker 2:I think she would be like fuck you, I don't give a fuck. She fought off a guy here with a knife. Remember that story? Yeah.
Speaker 1:And she's afraid of a card. Oh, she doesn't want to be in that awkward thing of her making a bad decision and some fucking businessman from toledo ohio, like the fucking bitch, doesn't even know how to play this game well, so as far as casinos go, what do we know about casinos?
Speaker 2:the?
Speaker 1:ones ones in Vegas are typically better. The ones on stolen Native American land are usually fucking terrible, because really it's just a different form of reparations.
Speaker 2:Okay, I agree with that, because I really have never really won, you know.
Speaker 1:Native Americans own the casinos, but you rarely see native americans gambling ever, ever, I've never even seen one working there.
Speaker 2:So, uh, as far as casinos go, they're fun, but they're just for fun, right guys?
Speaker 1:yep, never make money, you know just you know, I see them as a business opportunity.
Speaker 2:But you do you, then why come you haven't turned into?
Speaker 3:a business, yet motherfucker entertainment purposes only. All right, chris. No, shut her down. Jay, leave me out.
Speaker 2:Shut her down okay, I basically just did so.
Speaker 1:Remember, casinos suck, I don't know what else to do, chris, I'm lost well, you can definitely edit this out.
