Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Managing Jealousy and Finding Balance in Marriage
This episode explores the intriguing relationship between adult literature and personal dynamics within marriage. Through humorous anecdotes and engaging discussions, the hosts navigate themes of intimacy, balance, and communication, reminding us of the underlying emotions that can surface in everyday life.
• Understanding the significance of personal space in relationships
• Explore how adult literature affects emotional dynamics
• The importance of balance in shared household responsibilities
• Insights into navigating unconventional reading habits
• Humor and real-life reflections on marriage and reading
• The debate on preferences: reading vs. watching narratives
• Engaging children in conversation about adult themes
Top Shelf Stories with J Chris and Tony All right.
Speaker 2:So what was I saying about porno books? I was trying to yeah, we got to get to the, so your wife's reading.
Speaker 1:we got to get to the point of the story, though.
Speaker 2:Got to get to the what. The actual point of the story, though. Got to get to the what? The actual point of the story. Well, the point of the story is I understand when she yells at like what I just described a couple minutes ago, like her getting mad about me being on the phone, and then I look at her and she's getting all more excited about reading a book than actually, you know, paying attention to me. So, like I feel like a little girl, I feel like a wife being mad at a husband for not paying attention to me.
Speaker 1:That's why you need to crochet you guys hear crochet and shit.
Speaker 2:What the fuck's with the crochet?
Speaker 3:you don't even know how to crochet. You're talking about fucking.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying I feel like these are weird emotions for you to have.
Speaker 2:They are, but I'm looking at a different angle. I'm looking, I'm putting myself in my wife's shoes.
Speaker 3:It sounds like for the first time in your adult life you've been getting consistent sex.
Speaker 1:So I just, I don't see, I just don't see the downfall yeah, I think you let her read and get get the end of the night, actually when her eyes are tired I mean with her eyes, unless you're gonna get all these fucking bitch emotions about her pretending you're somebody else.
Speaker 2:I would say bitch, do you call?
Speaker 1:me a bitch here's. Here's what I would say jay bitch. Here's what I would say. Jay, yeah, what? On friday, instead of sitting home watching your wife read, come to a concert with me. That'll happen. So my wife also Trust me. I would fucking love to.
Speaker 2:Can you sneak me out a window?
Speaker 1:My wife is also very often very Just buy her new books.
Speaker 3:She won't even know you're gone.
Speaker 1:My wife is often very busy doing other things. This looks really good. They don't involve me, so she's doing other things that don't involve me. She's doing other things that aren't of my? Yeah, but when she's in the?
Speaker 2:fucking house reading a book. She knows you're there or not.
Speaker 1:She's doing the things in the house. She's on her computer listening to a podcast or doing whatever she's not gone.
Speaker 1:Then I just decided in my brain that some nights, rather than be there also, I'll go do what I want to do. I don't want to sit at home read a book. I don't want to go sit at home listen to a podcast or work on the computer, I want to go to a concert. So you should choose one night. Hey hon, I noticed you've been really into this book. Buy her like have Uber Eats delivered for her the food's there, say hey hon, I'm gonna meet up with Chris. I got dinner on the way. I bought you a new porno book. I got the oldest kid watching the youngest ones. Tonight I'll be home around.
Speaker 1:I'll be home around one o'clock.
Speaker 2:What happened, but that's the solution dude. If you're like, if you're tired of her doing something else. I read the back of the book it seems amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, you have to make yourself unavailable. And then it's like oh wait, when Jay's here, I won't read, because other nights he's gone and I can read. And then it became like automatic creates this balance where when you're there, it's more apt that she will be like ooh, jay's here.
Speaker 2:I won't read tonight. I don't know how to play mind games like you do, Chris.
Speaker 1:It's not a mind game. It's not a mind game. It's just you choosing to do what you want.
Speaker 2:It's just being an adult and I don't know how to.
Speaker 1:You got to create voids. It's like magnets dude. You got to create a void for it to be filled and so, like a flow of water, if you're there already, the water is going to continue flowing along its path. But if you remove yourself all of a sudden, the water wants to come into your lane and then you come back into that lane and then you work symbiotically and then you have additional lanes that again will go side to side I think the additional lanes he's talking about is more porno yeah, I mean, if it's gonna happen, you gotta let it happen.
Speaker 2:I like it when I did like I said, when I read that one paragraph I don't remember it, so I gave the best. I bet steaming schlong schlong dick the best interpretation I could, but I remember her saying to her this is pretty fucking graphic and she's like chapter 4 no way dude.
Speaker 1:Her saying to her this is pretty fucking graphic, and she's like you haven't seen chapter four.
Speaker 2:And another funny thing is my son goes so she'll leave her fucking. Uh, oh no, he's finding her kindle like just laying on the couch or something. I tell, hey, pick that up and start reading it to see what, what, what does it say? He'll start reading it and he'll say the same shit. Like you know, I don't fucking remember the exact words, but there's a penis and a vagina in there somewhere.
Speaker 3:He passionately rips the tampon, string out with his teeth. I think Tony can write these.
Speaker 2:Yes, tony, that is probably what it's written. I didn't get that far into the book, but gross.
Speaker 3:He takes his painted schlong and pulls it in and out rapidly. It's painted.
Speaker 2:Why is it painted? Because of this.
Speaker 1:Because he ripped the tampon. Yeah, get it. You got to add it out. You asked the question. You didn't want the answer to son. That's disgusting. You got to learn what answers the question can answer but on the page it's hot as fuck.
Speaker 3:It's hot as fuck on the page who paints with blood. You know, because they'll read that and they'll be like why doesn't he do that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you should do that too. If it's happening in the book, it's happening everywhere. Yeah, I'd use a fucking glove and a fucking pair of pliers to get the thing out what you need to do is write your own book and replace it with one that she thinks is a good let's.
Speaker 3:Let's write a uh, top shelf stories presents book yep what's it about Clive and his adventures in Spain?
Speaker 1:That's all. That's the back.
Speaker 2:Okay, so do you guys' wives, read books? No, really, I think, your wife being a teacher, she would be somewhat apt to my wife won't even read my texts.
Speaker 1:She's a researcher and a learner and she'll get out and do new things. But reading a smut book not it no. I'm not saying she's not reading it much. I'm saying reading in general she has gone into phases of reading and had artists or whatever authors that she's liked and read a few of the books in a row, mostly like thriller, crime stuff that she's into. She'll read them. She's, she has okay, that's different.
Speaker 2:My wife won't read those, she'll watch those.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, so your wife's learning how to kill you and jay's wife's learning how to fuck her.
Speaker 1:Oh, I often. I will often come home from work and my wife will have dinner made and I'll say which plate is mine and she'll tell me. And then I'll say I'll ask her which plate is mine, and she'll tell me. And so then I will grab the other one I'm not sure, but she's been cooking she's been too nice for about a year and a half, maybe two years.
Speaker 2:My wife tells me my wife, when she makes a meal, she's like you choose what plate you want. So I got a 50-50% chance of dying.
Speaker 1:Well, no, if she's letting you choose, then she's pretty confident.
Speaker 3:One of us are dying tonight.
Speaker 2:Well, she's not going to eat the one that she knows is fucked up. So that was my story About Wives and Reading books and having a fun time. Chris, can you end the show? Clear the show out please.
Speaker 1:Sometimes stories are found In a book, and today's Jay's schlong dong Penis Was found In a book. And today's Jay's schlong dong penis elong was found in a book, and that book is stored on the top shelf.
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that.
Speaker 1:You're so good at this. This is another top shelf story.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. Just end it there. Don't even say another word, you sexy bitch.
