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Top Shelf Stories
Exploring Jehovah's Witness Upbringings and Celebrity Connections
This episode delves into the unique experience of growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, exploring themes of upbringing, faith, and rebellion. Through personal anecdotes, hosts discuss the profound impact of restrictive beliefs on social interactions, mental health, and the journey toward personal freedom.
• Exploring the restrictive upbringing within Jehovah's Witness faith
• The absence of holiday celebrations and their emotional effects
• Understanding disfellowshipping and its psychological implications
• Anecdotes of rebellion after leaving strict norms
• Clarifying misunderstandings about the Jehovah's Witness community
• A reminder of the importance of personal growth and connection
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Jay:So how religious are you guys? Hit me again.
Chris:I would say mild, strong in my belief. I am not practicing any religion at this time.
Jay:When's the last time you've been to church? Probably 10 years years no, not that many tony this year. Okay, it was it for, like, uh, jesus birthday or some shit or something like that. No birthdays involved. So imagine being three years old and going to to church three times a week and also going door to door on every saturday what were you selling dildos nice that's your new word, tony cross dildos. Okay, so this?
Chris:is uh. So it was church, church, church, church, church, church, church. Go tell other people about church.
Tony:Yeah, exactly, so here's my question for you Were you religious, or was it just your parents?
Jay:My dad was not, my mother was, and we were forced into it.
Tony:My brother and my sister Right, but I'm saying did you believe what was being taught?
Jay:I'm three years old, fuck no.
Tony:Were you on board with it. Well, I know this carried into your teenage years.
Jay:Okay, I'm talking about being a Jehovah's Witness. There's a lot of different stereotypes about it and different ideas of how it is, but it's sometimes way worse. I was going to say sometimes it's not the truth, but sometimes it's way worse. I don't think any kid nowadays we started.
Chris:Do you have a historical? You should pull up some data on the Jehovah Witness.
Jay:It started in 1860s. I think I forgot the name of the guy that started the religion.
Chris:It was probably Jehovah.
Jay:It's a branch off. I mean Jehovah, God, Jehovah is another name for God and it's been that way for a long time. Basically, we started, you know, on football. They used to kneel for the national anthem and all that. Jehovah's Witnesses started that shit. In school we were not allowed. Charles Taze, Russell, Is it 18 something, 1864?
Chris:That's when Columbus sailed the ocean. Yeah, 19th century what?
Tony:What the fuck are you talking?
Jay:about. So I was Jehovah's Witness growing up, never celebrated holidays. They were a pagan holiday or they were pagans celebrated them, so we did not celebrate them. Never had christmas birthdays. Fucking anything, everything and anything.
Chris:1917 1917 those are false prophets or something right, I don't know I didn't.
Jay:You know what this is.
Tony:Probably there's never the truth, you know so is this a ploy by your parents because they didn't have money for gifts?
Chris:jehovah's witnesses are known for door-to-door preaching, distributing literature such as the watchtower and awake, and for refusing military service and blood transfusions. What's up with your?
Jay:blood bro. Oh yeah, okay. So if, for some reason, I got in some type of accident or I needed a transfusion for blood or I would die, you would. Your parents would let you die if you didn't get it. If you needed blood, if you needed blood, yes, your blood is sake so sacred to them that you are not supposed to let any other type of d blood so forth into your.
Chris:Did you ever get shunned? Or are you shunned now?
Jay:I was never baptized. You have to be baptized to be shunned.
Chris:Oh, you didn't.
Jay:I didn't get baptized. My mother was baptized, so she shunned?
Tony:Yeah, because I know she took in some fake blood when she got those fake titties.
Chris:Members are not. She's got a lot more than fake blood. Members are not allowed to socialize with a shunned individual.
Jay:You are cast out like the leopard.
Tony:I think it's just leopard Leopard yeah. I think leopard is the actual animal.
Chris:This doesn't sound culty at all but I'm going to give you one more sentence. Shunned individuals may eventually be reinstated if deemed repentant. Former members may experience significant mental distress as a result of being shunned, and some seek reinstatement just to keep contact with their friends yeah, you got a family, that's not culty at all, dude.
Jay:No, you gotta, you gotta if you're a woman, you gotta suck a couple times you just took that out of my mouth and, uh, you're back into good graces, okay, so basically, no holidays, no hanging out with people that are not jehovah's witnesses, unless it's, you know, school or otherwise that's why we never became friends as kids.
Chris:Jay, yeah, imagine all the fun trouble we could have gotten in our 20s if I hadn't been a fucking disassociated now you know why you sent me those birthday cards to come to your birthday and I couldn't come.
Jay:Yeah, I don't remember that never had birthdays, never had nothing, dude. So the first time I was, I put a christmas tree up. I was 25 and it was. It was exciting. It was like holy shit, it's kind of cool. Two years later, I fucking hate doing this shit. I never, ever, ever put the christmas tree up. My wife puts it up right after fucking halloween it's ridiculous we have more than one.
Tony:I had some family that was jehovah's witnesses and uh they weren't family, they didn't call you family, you weren't family, they were yeah, so the dad was a mean son of a bitch about the fucking meanest person I ever met. Um, unfortunately, he uh committed suicide just a few years ago. Jeez, louise it's he was even.
Jay:That's against. That's against jehovah's uh law, and if they do that, they will not be resurrected what a way.
Chris:So he was a jackass his whole life because of this shit, and then he fucking lost it at the and line I remember my aunt gave my little brother a stuffed animal for his birthday.
Tony:She snuck it to him. Like I remember this, I was maybe like 10 years old and it was super fucking sneaky like she carried it out to the car under her shirt.
Tony:She like leaned into the car window hoping nobody had seen her and she gave the stuffed animal to my little brother said happy birthday and then she went in the house and uh, he had seen it, and beat the fuck out of her for celebrating a holiday. Yeah, especially with a non-jehovah, are you fucking kidding, like? And she I mean to this day my aunt still defends him there's eccentric and there is, there's over, exaggerated and over.
Tony:I don't whatever word I'm looking for, people that yeah, and any religion, dude or any in life itself, it doesn't matter what you're in, but I don't know, I don't even know if this, if the beatens and shit were, were like masked behind the Jehovah's Witness blanket.
Jay:I think he would have done that regardless.
Tony:I think he just fucking really enjoyed being really abusive to everybody he knew it's terrible.
Jay:You should have slapped him around.
Tony:That dude would have beat my ass.
Tony:First off way more experience had beaten people's ass than me when I was like 10. I'm going to tell you that right now he had. So his youngest son was like three years older than me and his oldest son was I don't know, maybe like 10 years older than me. And when we were kids the older son was like really big into like DJing and he bought all these turntables and mixers and all this shit. And I just remember his dad got on some shit one day, was really fucking pissed. Got on some shit one day, was really fucking pissed, and went up and took all this dude's shit and just bounced it all down the stairs, just fucking destroyed everything this kid had. And that's that's how I imagine it is inside of every jehovah's witness household. No jesus, no peace. No jesus, your shit's gonna get fucked up.
Jay:Let me ask you this quick, do you, do you think my dad would ever do that your dad wasn't a jehovah?
Tony:I think, I think your mom was the abuser in this household. That's what I was gonna say.
Jay:Yeah, I think your mom used to beat the fuck out of all four of you, so basically we would go to the the meetings he would work and we would never see him because we come home from the meetings like they're literally right after class.
Tony:They're fucking three days a week and three days a week of church, yeah, I, I mean, I just imagine your mean ass mom bouncing you two boys together like fucking marching band symbols.
Jay:Yeah just on the daily just fucking beating you guys she didn't make us wear the same outfit and, uh, we had to wear a suit and tie. If you did not go in there with the suit and tie, you were not a nice thing.
Tony:He says he never grew out of them. Looks like I won't have to buy him a new suit this year I'll tell you what, though.
Jay:I can tie a tie in three seconds.
Tony:That's what I got for the job that fast, but, uh, I can do it without looking in the mirror now oh my god, really cool for wow well, I tie a tie once every year and a half maybe, dude I taught my dad how to tie a tie.
Jay:You know what? You tie it for them and just put it around their neck and then pull it tight.
Chris:He used to keep his ties all loosened and tightened, and loosened, and tightened and hung up. He would never untie them.
Jay:You know there's a talent to it because there's two parts to the tie. Obviously there's that little skinny part and you don't want the little skinny part to get longer than the fat part, otherwise it looks fucked up. It just looks stupid, like something's wrong with you if you make that longer.
Tony:You just look like Chris Farley on a Saturday Night.
Jay:Live skit Down by the river. Yeah, so yeah again. Never celebrated holidays. I've never been the one to be mad about, like it never made me mad growing up being one was not being able to play sports.
Tony:Organized sports.
Jay:Organized sports.
Chris:Fake family rule. Is that why? You fall under the fake idol rule.
Jay:I can play sports, but it's got to be against Jehovah's Witnesses. They all sucked, so I was like the best. Now, when I came back to doing sports and gym at school, I had some competition because they weren't Jehovah's Witnesses. They are fucking running around with a suit and tie and fucking penny loafers. So I had a little competition in school.
Tony:They didn't start calling it till it was a quad dribble.
Chris:What is the Jehovah's opinion of the Amish? Amish.
Tony:Yeah, idols, I would say it's another.
Chris:Okay.
Jay:Any other religion besides Jehovah's Witnesses wrong. So is Amish a religion, or is?
Tony:that just a lifestyle. I feel like every religion feels that.
Jay:Yeah, I guess you're right.
Tony:They're the only ones that are specific.
Chris:It just sounds and seems a lot similar, just with a few different rules well, yeah, we could use electronics to drive vehicles and. But some of the amish can too, just not the mennonite amish. There you go.
Tony:Yeah, you're right I think mennonite can. Is that what it is?
Chris:yeah, okay, I I'm naive, so forgive me.
Tony:for anyone, the best is. Every couple years I hear the story of an Amish dude getting drunk, driving with his horse. What? Well, because they drive on the road, it's a controlled?
Jay:Where else is it supposed to drive with the horse On the sidewalk?
Chris:Yeah, but you can't be drunk in control of a one horse power vehicle operating a one horse.
Jay:But I like this. But some some op a, if you're rich, you got two or three. You got two or three horses okay, so go on.
Jay:Couldn't play sports um, in school, when they had, uh, you know how, when you were in grade school and you had the parties for halloween, christmas, um, all those different holidays, I I'd have to go into the library the whole fucking day. My mom wouldn't let me stay home. Oh, at school, yeah. So she wouldn't let me stay home, like knowing that all day long I'd have to be in the library playing Oregon Trail and the fucking floppy disk computer.
Chris:I think I remember a few of you in my school.
Jay:Dude, we get made fun of. Did you go to General Mitchell?
Chris:Yeah, oh, then you were the people I remember from grade school.
Jay:How is a grade or two ahead of you, though they're like this loser loves books.
Tony:I don't know when are you. I graduated in 2000.
Chris:How many grades did you miss then? I graduated the same year as you Did you. Yeah, I'm just younger than you are by a year.
Jay:Okay, anyway, so yeah we were in the same class.
Chris:You were the kid that had to leave every time I brought a treat in Mom's like what do you want to do for that stupid Jehovah kid? I'm like I don't know. I guess he hollied his fucking shit.
Jay:You know what's funny about that? My brother and sister we talked about that not too long ago and they were like I was like dude, it sucked in school where I couldn't grab the treat, like kids bringing cookies or whatever it was. Your sister is probably my brother's grade and my sister and my brother were like what are you talking about, jay? We always took it. I'm like what?
Chris:Yeah, they were like fuck that, jay. 15 years.
Tony:I was talking with your brother about this too, so it was just you, I never took it ever not one time.
Chris:I'm going to have to find the old third and fourth grade fucking books and see if.
Jay:Jay's in there, Dude. I was there from first grade to fifth grade.
Chris:Did you have Mr McGinnis? In fifth grade Was that Spurka. No, fifth grade. Do you have Mr McGinnis in fifth grade? Was that?
Jay:Spurka, no, mcginnis is the one who had the carousel wheel in his room, I know.
Tony:McGinnis, your brother said that he made the rules on which things he could and couldn't participate.
Chris:He would just tell the teacher he didn't want to.
Tony:He's like I got asked every year well, how come you can do this one, but you couldn't do the last one? Do you really want me to teach you?
Chris:I'll come over on Saturday.
Tony:He's like no, my mom said this one was OK.
Jay:Yeah, and I didn't know that little trick. I just fucking listen to the rules.
Chris:Your brother left you hanging dude.
Jay:He didn't fucking tell me that little trick.
Tony:I could have had cookies and donuts fucking every other day of the year. No, I'm not sure. Yeah, I don't know. I I just when I close my eyes I picture the jehovah's witnesses having a lot of like peanut allergies and stuff it's a lot of weak immune systems and another thing we couldn't do is we couldn't go to dances.
Jay:So, like girls would ask me to go to dances and I you know, I'm a fucking joe was witness first off nobody asked you to go to a dance dudes would tease me. You're gay, that's why I don't want to go with her. Really, like no dude. What are you talking about, man? I was a fucking diamond in the rough. All the women came out to me, they full beard are you really not going? Are you really not gonna go with me to the?
Tony:to the prom jay.
Jay:They just invited you because they assumed you could buy liquor I went to actually I went to two proms when I was 22 whoa uh chaperoning right, no diddy no, it was great, it was fun time.
Jay:That's what they say now no, couldn't go to dances, couldn't do any of the holidays at school and, uh, you couldn't hang out with kids after school unless it had to do with a project that you were doing for a class. I could go to someone's house. Then I could go to their house and hang out like so, then I would do shit like that. I would say, hey, we're gonna, we're doing a science project, blah, blah, blah. So I'd go to my friends, I'd hang out, hang out with them because of that. Besides that, yeah, you never had friends. Only friends you could have were jehovah's witnesses. Um, you couldn't talk to girls, you couldn't be any. Everything there's like there's restrictions to every fucking thing. You did so.
Jay:Now that you know, when I got to an age where I was not a jehovah's witness anymore you know 18 and beyond I moved out. When I was 17, I fucking went nuts. I did everything and anything I could. You know I did terrible, dumb shit. I almost died so many times because I rebelled, because I followed the fucking rules, unlike my brother. You went on ramadan what's that?
Tony:that's where the year they give the amish to go live in the real world a year they give them a year.
Jay:Yeah, is that kind of like the purge?
Tony:kind of, but after the year they get to decide whether or not they want to return to a life of nothingness.
Jay:I've heard that word before and if that's the truth, I don't think it's a year. I think that that's your misunderstanding or misunderstood something. There's no way.
Chris:It's a year long, he's our tech guy's reaching for his phone now to prove or disprove who's correct, so so you did you have a go ahead, go ahead.
Chris:No, I was actually asked me a question. I'd rather say are you gonna? So you've Disprove who's correct, so you have a Go ahead, go ahead. No, I was actually Ask me a question, ed. So you've elected not to continue this trail after your own private Ramadan, I think. So what is the percentages that you are to do with the reason I'm getting mailings from a handwritten letters? I got one of those too now, written from Jehovah's. You know what's fucking weird? We showed them.
Tony:I was a little off on my days. I was 335 days off, so I was pretty close so a month, one day, one month, one month, one month.
Jay:Okay 30 days I was going to say a year seems a little stretched, Anyway. Okay, so here's a funny kind of thing. Like my neighbor is a Jehovah's Witness Now, yeah, and she doesn't even know my name, she calls me James Does she, yeah, well, no. I yeah, and she doesn't even know my name.
Chris:She calls me james, does she yeah?
Tony:well, no, I'm sure this dude you don't think she knows you're laughing at someone on your phone.
Chris:I'm retarded you don't think she knows dude? Yeah, it has nothing to do with what you were talking about I was like he started laughing really hard off for no reason.
Tony:Go ahead fucking say it, dude, every no people can't read your mind yeah, don't just laugh and not say nothing so ramadan actually has to do with saudi arabia saudi arabia. Arabia, uh, not um. What is the amish?
Jay:okay, so we both or Chris you referenced Ramadan as well.
Chris:No, I didn't, I just used it because he did no.
Jay:I'm saying you referenced it because he did yeah, no, that's fine Rumspringa. Rumspringa. I'm pretty sure you're pronouncing that wrong Rumspringa.
Chris:That's what the Amish get. The round of muck rum spring rough springer. So what age do you do that? 16, 16, that's crazy can begin around 16 so your fucking bitch-ass parents still boss you around. You gotta go pretend like you know what the world is. They're like we're gonna send you into town of fucking Springfield, Ohio. You can check out the real world.
Tony:Rum Springer last two years dude, what the fuck? So you get to leave to jehovah's go on uh trips to spread the word like they yeah, they go, uh, however far they can pedal jehovah's we're on jehovah episode.
Chris:They call they, they pedal you got nine more minutes to ask questions on jehovah web episode they call we're never doing this again.
Jay:They call them assemblies.
Chris:Go on assembly for how long? To where A weekend? Who signs it?
Jay:A weekend.
Chris:This is like team rush you all mob into a Days Inn outside of Frankfurt, indiana, and jump into town and sell the door to door.
Jay:In Wisconsin it was Janesville or Madison. Really, you drove to Janesville or Madison, janesville was the one we went to a lot of the times. Madison was the big-ass one where there was thousands of them and literally all In Madison. In Madison, yeah, contrugated in the giant complex. I don't remember what we were at because I didn't pay attention to any of this shit. Dude, I didn't like any of it.
Chris:I had my binoculars and all I did was look around for good-looking girls I could talk to, because that's the ones I could talk to or Jehovah's Witnesses, but you didn't have a church where people would go, like the 16 or 18-year-old or something kid would just go for two years.
Jay:No, nothing at all nothing, or like a year to south africa or some shit to like, spread the word of no, no, no, everything was all together, everyone's together, in this shit you know, you don't very occultish I mean yeah, it was it's like a call yeah, I like, so I'll steal a couple of remaining remaining minutes.
Chris:I was in a Mormon household which a lot of people have a lot of like different points of view that are like extreme.
Jay:Like you're saying, don't you not celebrate some holidays, right?
Chris:So no, so sure, yeah, just kidding, so they would. They would go like push, pedal the fucking church out. They would send their young men out and young women out at like 18 or some shit, to like different places around the world. And it was like organized, like you'd be out, there'll be two other people in that city from San Diego and one from Australia, and you'll be in South Africa. There'll be six of you.
Jay:That's kind of cool. Paddle around and pedal the word, you get to go for free. The church pays for it, right?
Chris:Sure, I have no idea. There was no way in fucking hell I was going to go?
Jay:Why? I would totally go, dude. Oh, really, see the world. That's why I was asking you. I wouldn't preach, I just see the world.
Chris:Would you go do that? Now Is what I was going to ask you like cause. If you had that in your Jehovah thing, I was going to ask you if you'd go do that at this point, like if you had this envision where you're like I become Jehovah again, the wife, kids, everybody's on board, everything's good and they're like well, Jay, it's come upon us from above that you need to travel to South America.
Jay:Well, we're not going to tell you where yet, but we need you to accept this calling, Because what you do and I think the Mormon thing is you accept the calling?
Chris:Yeah, I'll do that. We've heard up on high from the Bibles that you need to go do this. Do you accept the challenge?
Jay:Yeah, I would accept it, but I wouldn't be allowed to do it.
Chris:Then they're like alright, you're going to fucking zimbabwe, have fun, you're gonna be with pete from ohio hey, it's warmer there than it is here I'm down break up, yeah, I'm down.
Jay:It's so much warmer there than here, I'm down but you don't know where you're going. It could be anywhere if it's cold, then I probably wouldn't do it well, what are you telling me?
Tony:how are you gonna knock? Do it I?
Chris:why you always have a hat on well yeah, what happens when you go on these things and you're like nah, fuck that bro, I'm just gonna party it up and you just end up out there you think the church makes you pay it back like. Is there some type of like? Who's watching?
Tony:you get half the city pregnant you get an invoice.
Chris:I'm spreading the word, spread my seed. No, you get an invoice in the mail and it's like you've lost now in interest, like 13 years of eternity in the pearly gates or whatever 13 years is nothing. Chris, pretty soon, you're not going to have any available time.
Tony:So your parents were Mormon.
Chris:It was kind of similar to what Jay was talking about. My mom was into the religion. My dad wasn't so much into it at all.
Jay:What do they believe happens to you after you die? I don't know.
Chris:I think you go to heaven.
Jay:Okay, so Joe's Witnesses there's. It makes the most sense. There's no heaven or hell. Yeah, you live on earth as a new one. You live on earth.
Chris:As a new one.
Jay:You live on earth and I don't know, like In, like a parallel universe. No, the same earth.
Chris:The same earth. The earth is destroyed and you are survived. What about all the people that already died?
Jay:No, everyone that's killed. That's now Jehovah's Witness. I don't know how this works. I don't know. They put you in a bubble, they float you above the earth and then float you back down when everyone's dead. I don't know.
Chris:But you get to come back to earth, you get to come back to earth and you live on earth.
Jay:But then it comes to me as like everyone. But it's all Jehovah's day.
Chris:Yeah, it's all Jehovah's day.
Jay:Oh shit, and this is the question I always ask.
Chris:What stores are you going to knock on on Saturday?
Jay:I I'm making sure you steal Joe's witness.
Chris:Hey.
Jay:Pete, just want to make sure. The only thing I never understood and I asked, even as a child to myself, is okay, so you're living on the earth, no one dies. You still have kids. Where the fuck are all these kids here to go? No one ever dies, not old people, nothing. You live forever. Sure where the fuck Are you going to put all these generations Of kids and people? I just you know, just doesn't make sense.
Chris:It was at that point you started to make sense of it all wait a minute. The end game is all of us like forever. Hey, the math's not math in here.
Jay:Hey, maybe they knew about the Mars cal nation I don't know about anything before anyone else did. And then there's 144,000 that you know there's a lot of weird stuff, but again, this is suspicious. This is what my cousins think fucked me up. They think now I'm fucked up because of that.
Chris:They still think it yeah they think I'm fucked up.
Jay:I's fucked up. Yeah, my sister's fucked up, my brother's fucked up because of this. But my youngest sister didn't have to deal with it. She was like two when my mom got away from it and obviously she got loved way more than you, she got disassociated my yeah, basically yeah, and what was the other word?
Chris:again, I forgot.
Jay:Disfellowshipped.
Chris:Shunned. Disfellowshipped Fellowship of the rings is gone bitch, you're out.
Jay:Give me that ring back, see, I yeah, I don't know. But again, yes, like you said and you read, if you are shunned, you are not allowed to talk to that shunned person. So basically, there has been people that we've known. My mom has known that it's been like divorce You're not allowed to get a divorce. You get a divorce, you're done, you're out. So even if it doesn't matter, if you don't love the person anymore, you get a divorce. You, you marry someone, you're stuck with them for the rest of your life and you cannot get a divorce. Anyway, mom knew someone that got a divorce. She was not allowed to talk to him, not allowed to conversate, whatever. If she saw him somewhere she's supposed to walk away from. It's fucking crazy it's weird shit.
Tony:Can you just imagine what onlookers at the local walmart would be saying if your best friend walked in and you had to just like turn around and fucking walk?
Jay:how would they know he's your best friend? What do you mean?
Tony:and uh, they're like oh hey, jamie, and you're like you're shunned, you are shunned. Stop talking to me, you're gonna pull me in the hell with you well, it depends on what city and where you are in the world.
Jay:Okay, or state, because in new berlin, yeah, people would be like what the fuck's wrong? Oh my god, everyone would circle you and I'm like whoa guys, something's happening. People, five people will call 9-1-1. But if you didn't walk downtown milwaukee, everyone would just just walk right back. Mixed on tiktok in a matter of minutes. So, yeah, no, I get it. Uh, any other questions before we end this episode, guys?
Tony:so, listening to your story of uh, almost science fiction scientology. You're talking about science fiction. It sounds like a episode of star trek well you're you're fucking weird ass. Religion you grew up in um, I was listening to somebody talk about, uh, elon musk and uh, how he's convinced that this world is a simulation, that he doesn't think this real world actually like the matrix.
Jay:Oh, you know what the matrix is, or have you not seen it? I haven't seen it. Matrix is a fake world. People are used as as uh batteries and like basically, right now we would be in like a shell used as a battery for robots, but this would be their fake, fake world, like our right now is our fake world that?
Tony:yeah, I don't know. I just got to thinking and you know, the weird thing is is I didn't even smoke marijuana or anything, but I was thinking like what if we are the fucking mold growth on some fucking old piece of food in somebody's refrigerator?
Jay:right, not for real now you're talking about men in black, where you open up the fucking door to your locker and there's this whole world that worships you. But that's like our world at the end of black men in black, one another locker's opened and the main character whatever his name, I forgot his name is looking out the locker too like yeah, I mean, it's a pretty good possibility one day we're just.
Chris:We're just like bacteria in somebody else's world well, another one from men in black is where, at the end of the movie where they're just playing marbles with the galaxy yeah, the galaxy walking around.
Tony:Yeah, like they, you're not only just a yeah, what if?
Chris:But we are. If you look out into the fucking sky, we are. I'm going to end it with this. I'm going to end it with no, not with a prayer or something. Are you Motherfucker? Hell, no, all right, bow your heads.
Jay:I'm going to end it. Famous Jehovah's Witnesses that you did not know. Okay, ready. Prince Jay Wisniewski, did you know Prince was a Jehovah's Witness? How could he do that? Okay, prince was a Jehovah's Witness. Michael Jackson's family, michael Jackson False. No, that is 100% true. No, that's propaganda Marketing propaganda. No, that is so true. I've heard that he is reading directly from the Saturday Fire.
Jay:I knew Michael Jackson's parents were Jehovah's Witnesses. He obviously did not follow. It Makes sense by all the beatens Terrence Howard, donald Glover, you guys know any of those guys? You?
Chris:can't be in Hollywood and be a Jehovah.
Jay:Okay, I'm sorry this one. Now you're going to think this is totally close. Be a Jehovah. Okay, I'm sorry this one Snoop. Now you're going to think this is totally Close. You're going to totally think this is wrong. Coolio Notorious.
Chris:BIG Dude they're all wrong.
Tony:Do you think that's real? These are all false, 100% Prince is a Jehovah's Witness, as Jehovah's Witnesses Was Whatever, I don't know no.
Jay:Yes, he was. Look it up Michael Jackson's parents, hardcore Jehovah's Witnesses. Serena Williams, the tennis player. Jehovah's Witness.
Tony:I heard her Naomi.
Jay:Campbell, you know who she is. Coco Rocha I don't know who the fuck that is. Venus Williams, obviously because his fucking sister.
Chris:These are all super interesting stories.
Jay:Okay, okay. Well, that's what I want to do with. Stop being such a naysayer. Who's Ja Rule? That's a rapper, right, sort of he's look at. Was raised. Okay, this is just. Was raised and no longer is or was a Jehovah's Witness Was raised as one, obviously, all his songs are about fucking people out of wedlock. Go through that list again.
Chris:Go through that list again.
Jay:Go through the list again Go through the list again, if I didn't tell you I was Jehovah's Witness, you would not believe it.
Tony:Serena Williams, the first time I met you, I'm like is that guy a fucking Jehovah's Witness?
Chris:or something. How did prince die drugs he was. How did michael jackson die? That was, that was prescripted.
Jay:How did prescription? Who else is on that list? They just weren't naomi campbell.
Chris:What's up with that girl? She's naomi campbell.
Jay:She's an actress right, no, no model, no, that's. That's that black model.
Chris:She's still alive. Good for her.
Jay:Dwight Eisenhower.
Chris:Dwight Eisenhower, the president of the United States, dwight.
Tony:Eisenhower, I thought you were talking about from the office Bologna.
Jay:That's what it says. The 34th president of the United States was raised in a religion but also left the faith. He left the faith as an adult Ja Rule, raised as a Jehovah's Witness, but he grew disenchanted with religion when his mother was disfellowshipped. There you go.
Chris:Damn Right there, dude. Dwight Eisenhower was an American military officer. How is he of jehovah?
Jay:I don't know, dude, this is fucking the internet. Dude, terrence howard, that, that really smart dude, that that has fucking all these crazy thoughts and, uh, beliefs. Show me a picture I think that's terror.
Tony:terrence mckenna you're thinking of, that's an actor, that's what I said.
Jay:Howard actor, George Benson, Daniel Glover, Donald Glover, sorry this is less interesting.
Chris:Lou Whitaker, this is less interesting than Tony's routine from last weekend.
Jay:Okay, let me read the notorious one real quick. Rapper, aka Christopher Wallace, was raised as a Jehovah's Witness faith by his mother, whose mother is still active in the Jehovah's Witness crowd. All right, that's it. That's all I have to say, and you guys are welcome for this Top Shell story of faith, God and belief of never-ending life and souls.
Chris:Hey, just go show you whatever you believe in as long as he makes you happy, keep fucking going at it until you realize you're fucking wrong and then change. And that's fine too. And then just find something else that makes you happy and do that until you realize you're fucking wrong and then change again, because that's how life works.
Tony:Just get knee-deep in the religion until you realize all you want is a new set of tits. And then you're like I'm out, I'm out.
Jay:They just feel too nice to be back in this religion. All right, guys. Top Shelf Stories, have a good week.
