Parenting Adventures and Gender Stereotypes

This episode explores the humorous differences between being a boy dad and a girl dad, showcasing the unique challenges and experiences each face. Through lighthearted anecdotes and serious reflections, we discuss parenting strategies, responsibility, and the chaos of raising children. 
• Comparison and humor in the dynamics of boy dads vs. girl dads 
• The physical and chaotic nature of raising boys 
• Experiences during playdates and sleepovers 
• Importance of teaching kids about responsibility 
• Utilizing perception of choice in parenting 
• Balancing strictness and flexibility as a parent

Transcript

Parenting Perspectives and Playdates

Chris 0:00

Top Shelf Stories with Jay, chris and Tony.

Jay 0:22

Welcome everyone. Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Tony and Chris. I would like to say that out of us three, we have one gentleman that is a father to a daughter. The other two are boy parents, Parents, boys, Boys, parents how do you say that? Is that right?

Tony 0:47

uh boy dad, okay, I believe, is technical boy.

Jay 0:51

That's the technical boy. Dad would be like you're a boy and then you're a dad.

Chris 0:56

No, that's the only way my son's pediatrician calls me okay, the only way to be a dad is to be a boy, though, too, so like that doesn't really narrow anything down, true that? True that?

Jay 1:07

all right. Am I right? Unless you're a um binary unbinary?

Tony 1:14

yeah, the pediatrician does say that I'm a he, him dad. The physician says this yeah, he doesn't want to he doesn't want to assume.

Chris 1:24

Your physician says this you need to get a new physician, does he know about the human?

Tony 1:30

anatomy. He doesn't want to assume that my son is a male.

Chris 1:34

He's a physician, does he? Doesn't he make him turn and cough? I don't know. I found him on, because if he, does that he'll know if he's a male or a female or not?

Jay 1:47

well you know, in nowadays you don't really know if you're a male or female he's had his balls in his hands I have watched so much shit about people in gender, whatever you call it. Why defecation of male or female, like what is a woman, is like the biggest fucking we are as americans cannot define a woman, makes us look re yeah, do either of you guys subscribe to daily? Wire. Oh fuck, yeah, dude, I have it's like 20 a month or something, right? Yeah, I watch them all. Yeah, can I, is it?

Tony 2:23

can I get your login credentials? No, just so I want to watch what is a woman. It's amazing it is so good you're not gonna let me log in on it I don't have it anymore.

Jay 2:33

Actually, I canceled it. I watched that and it was like I didn't watch anything else. Everything else was kind of like yeah, I just want to watch what is a woman anyway, okay, so chris, she's, he's got one daughter, she's, uh, eight or nine, right?

Jay 2:47

yep she'll be nine soon, okay, so there's a huge difference between a? Um father of a daughter than there is, uh, fathers of of boy boys, and I'll tell you what. One one thing is defense. As a boy dad, you need defense whenever you come home, whenever you are away, come back home, like literally I'm getting attacked by my kids.

Tony 3:19

It sounds like you're just raising them fucked up. Yeah, are you raising Walker and Texas texas ranger from talladega nights, all hopped up on mountain dews?

Chris 3:29

I'll come at you like a spider monkey what you're trying to do is you're trying to say that being a girl dad is easy and then, but while saying that, having zero experience of it true, I think, I think that's true that's a fair statement, though I feel like it is easier, sure you? Sure can.

Jay 3:48

Yeah, you're definitely uh no, you are right, though we we don't. We have no idea what it is to be a girl, because you're your guys, right, right, you guys are boys.

Chris 4:01

Could I he him, you or? You well, I have been at one time in my life so until you took those hormones I remember when I was a boy and then have a daughter, and then you didn't tell me that there's something easier than like that.

Jay 4:18

That's easy when you found out, first of all, if you were having a daughter, what was your first um inkling? I mean, I don't know. No, like like the balloon pops, it's pink, were you?

Tony 4:32

just disappointed. He was immediately like well, I'm on a plane to go see this band. I'll check in a little bit we'll talk about this on Sunday night when I get home, there's no.

Jay 4:44

FaceTime at that point. So he's on the phone with his wife saying what color is the balloon?

Tony 4:49

He's at a payphone. What?

Jay 4:53

color was the balloon I only got six minutes. So we joke around with Chris. He's an avid concert seeker. He goes out of town for weekends and that's fine, nothing wrong with it, but he does it without his wife, which Tony and I mainly. I think it's kind of crazy that you can actually get away from your wife for more than work days or something to do with your children, do you need a safe place?

Chris 5:26

I need a safe house. House, okay, that's the thing. Okay. So I got married and I plan on living till like I don't know, at least 80.

Jay 5:35

I mean, that's a bad expectation, my friend at least 80. Well, you should be at least 95, and then I also expect that she can live at least 80 right.

Tony 5:45

So then I got 15 years after your dad.

Chris 5:47

So we got married 10 years ago. So I got like 30 more years and eventually there's gonna be no kid in the house. The dog will die, there'll be no dog in the house and it'll just be me and we'll have no friends anymore, because half of them will have died or moved away. Here's the, and then it's just me and her. And then I got 20 years of that.

Tony 6:08

You can only fuck so many times in a day.

Chris 6:10

Right, especially when you're fucking 60. Right.

Jay 6:14

Now here's the expectation for dads with boys your daughter will leave because usually they're more grown up earlier. They have more expectations in their life. Boy dads, they're fucking. They're living at home until they're 40. Nowadays, living at home until they're 40. Oh no, my kids can't wait to get out. Trust me, they're still going to be there because you have the West Wing. They basically live in Iran.

Chris 6:42

They live in Iran playing war games on their computer games.

Tony 6:46

No just complete dictatorship. Oh, at your house they don't have a say in anything. Yeah, that sounds about right. I got to explain to my 11-year-old constantly. 11-year-olds don't get to make choices about their life.

Chris 7:00

It's pretty true. It's very true, not unless If I leave my kid to his own devices.

Jay 7:08

He will eat three meals a day of fucking the telebiscuits I was gonna say isn't that normal, the frozen ones in the freezer? Breakfast, lunch and dinner the ones in the freezer that you have to warm up.

Tony 7:21

no, they're. They're like fucking cookies, but instead of like no, but they put them in the freezer. No, not my kids, because they eat them so fast. They don't have to save them, they just eat them at the same time.

Jay 7:32

All right. So let me ask you this, chris when your daughter has a play date I guess that's what they call it nowadays when her friend comes over how rambunctious, how much noise how much danger do they cause coming into your home?

Chris 7:53

Uh, plenty.

Jay 7:54

Plenty, but like on a scale from one to 10, 10 being the worst.

Chris 8:01

Well, we will have no ruckamuckas in the house, like I mean. What do you mean?

Jay 8:05

dude all right, so this is what we're gonna do I'll bring over my child, okay, actually, wait, wait, I have three you're gonna have to give me like three weeks.

Tony 8:13

No, you pick your favorite one and bring it over.

Jay 8:15

You don't bring all three of them things all for like three weeks, though just just one, and actually I'm not gonna bring my favorite and the kid has to be under the impression that he's stuck with me forever.

Chris 8:25

Okay, I like this idea. So three weeks I need a boot camp. Chepulski house, yeah.

Jay 8:31

And then we're going to see your ideals.

Chris 8:36

So what are you saying? Your kids just destroy shit, all the time Screaming.

Jay 8:40

Punching? Why do you have Kicking, scratching?

Chris 8:43

Does this happen at your home?

Jay 8:44

all the time.

Tony 8:45

No.

Chris 8:46

Yeah.

Tony 8:48

I don't think it's a boy-girl thing, only when we go into stores.

Jay 8:50

Now listen here.

Chris 8:51

There are terrible girl kids.

Jay 8:53

I agree, Not terrible but you get what I'm saying. The percentage is so low.

Chris 8:59

Is it?

Jay 8:59

I remember.

Chris 9:00

Tony's stories about kids. Have you spoken to teachers and shit?

Jay 9:05

I'll bet you a teacher you have a teacher as a wife, I'm gonna have to ask her.

Chris 9:08

I'll bet that the boys do cause a little more trouble, though I will, but I would agree like I.

Child Development and Gender Stereotypes

Jay 9:14

I mostly concur so I remember tony's story about his child dangling what, what? Am I back on? Yes, you are, check, check, dangling from the chandelier, yeah, that did happen.

Tony 9:29

Would a girl ever do that?

Chris 9:31

yes, a girl child, yeah, why not?

Jay 9:34

I don't think they can or will. They don't have the lower leg strength a boy does to get to that height.

Chris 9:41

You're crazy you're, you're delirious if you think that a nine-year-old, I think between at least the age of like probably three newborn to nine. The physique of a child, as far as their physical ability to do shit, is pretty much the same. Like women, my kids have women remain wiener getting in their way women are in trouble running women and then in turn, girls do have a smaller frame a bit, but like no, but you are right, though, that girls develop, and, and it's a kid get high, they get taller faster.

Chris 10:21

If you want to put it in a weird, well, it's a context it's a kid like so my kid can jump on a chandelier at six just as much as your kid has your kid ever.

Tony 10:31

No, my kid doesn't hang on chandeliers. No, this kid has home training.

Chris 10:35

I don't own chandeliers.

Jay 10:36

She doesn't have home training. She's a girl, she just doesn't do that.

Tony 10:45

I don't have chandeliers. She's in the fucking.

Jay 10:47

You have crystal doorknobs. Does she hang from crystal doorknobs? I mean, yeah, dude, she does not hang from crystal doorknobs.

Chris 10:50

Yep all the time. She swings from the fucking drapes like Tarzan.

Jay 10:54

I'll give you one example. I coach a soccer team all boys okay and they're in a Well, you're assuming?

Chris 11:03

I don't even like the jokes about it.

Jay 11:08

It's kind of funny. Well, they are boys now, but we just wait a couple of years, we don't know. So I got a whole gaggle of boys on my soccer team and I'm in a field of 10 other fields of boys and girls. I look around during my soccer practice. Every fucking team of girls are standing there looking at the coach and listening. And then I look around and see the boys. They're fucking dry, humping the grass, fucking pumping their fists in the air. I think this is just kicking the fucking ground these are your boys.

Chris 11:51

All the other boys as well. All the other boys teams are humping the ground and the two girls teams are just fucking kicking the ball to each other between having tea, jay, I think this is just a testament to your leadership abilities, I mean. Are you telling the?

Tony 12:09

kids go fuck the grass.

Jay 12:13

Yeah, when they misbehave, I tell them, go public, thrust that fucking dry ass grass, that hard grass. Just go in there and give it some. No, but the serious thing is about it. I don't really I don't know because I don't have a daughter, but I feel like this is the truth, that having boys at a younger age is so much harder, but when the girls get older, I feel like then that's when the girls get harder and the boys get easier.

Chris 12:47

So here's my feeling on it, yeah 16-year-old boy, 16-year-old girl, which one you want? Boy, oh shit, like by a huge margin, Mile Miles.

Tony 12:55

I think Fuck off Kilometers. So I think young ladies are inherently more helpful and better listeners. I would agree. Yeah, totally, and boys try to test you a little bit more than a girl will. I would agree. You should write that in a fucking Bible. If you lay down the groundwork as a parent, you will not be tested on a daily basis. You will be tested once.

Jay 13:28

No, you're going to be tested every day, See the problem too.

Tony 13:30

No, not every day.

Chris 13:31

Here's what with a girl right If she wants to be. It seems like in general, you could make. I would say, and this is one of my fears is that when she chooses to be disobedient, it'll be conniving yeah, quiet behind the scenes well calculated and effective and it'll probably work and I'll catch it after it happens and a boy probably wants to do some fucking.

Chris 13:56

Yeah, he'll break out of those window with a hammer and try to sneak out of the house. Mine will fucking plan for like three weeks on who's going to call who, if Bethany's mom's going to call Stevie's mom and the whole fucking biscuit dude.

Jay 14:09

Before I came here my kid said oh, what are you doing? Going to the podcast. Dad Runs out of the bathroom he's saying this in the bathroom Runs out of the bathroom butt naked and shakes his dick in the air and says go, have fun.

Chris 14:21

Yeah, see that.

Jay 14:27

I don't think a girl would do that. Well, no, but that's not even a joke. I don't think I did that. Oh, you did. I mean, with that big schlong, I mean what?

Tony 14:33

kind of fucking house you live in where a 17 year old kid rubs out of the bathroom.

Chris 14:38

Well, he's teaching him to shit with no, no pants on. He's probably teaching them.

Tony 14:43

And if you would have taught your kid how to wipe his own ass at an appropriate age, he wouldn't be coming out asking you to wipe him anymore. So here's the funny thing. Find that wrong.

Jay 14:52

Here's the funny thing Tony is talking about a 17-year-old. I have a 17-year-old child. I also have a fucking 8-year-old.

Tony 15:00

This is why he makes it funny.

Jay 15:02

Because he thinks I'm talking about the same thing, slinging his dick around saying, dad, you going to the podcast? What the hell You're not going to stay home with mom and dad? And grandpa.

Tony 15:19

But see, the thing is, I'm sure that actually happened.

Jay 15:20

I highly doubt your life I'm never going to tape it and show you, but it did.

Tony 15:23

Let me ask you this as a parent give me your honest reaction to it. Yeah, what, what did you do?

Jay 15:33

he runs out oh, what did you?

Tony 15:35

swinging in there. You're saying what? Okay? Yeah, what'd you do? Did you laugh or did you get pissed and correct him? I laughed and walked away. See you later I love you son. So that's why this shit happens in your house okay, what would you do?

Jay 15:47

throw a fucking ball in his dick and say, hey, next time think about taking your dick my kid immediately probably grab it with the fucking mid of my hand I'd grab that dick and I'd say kid, don't be swinging this fucking thing around, or?

Chris 16:01

someone's going to grab it and squeeze it and yell at you Fucking get dressed.

Jay 16:05

He was 10 feet away, so I could not have grabbed it.

Chris 16:09

I could with a kid of mine. He'd be 10 foot long. He is not LeBron James child.

Jay 16:17

And in your house, house 10 feet's a lot of steps.

Tony 16:18

For you, it's half a quarter kilometer uh, no, my, my kid would have been. If I mean, if he was in my reach, he would have been grabbed by his ear drug back in the bathroom okay, our conversation is fucking closed.

Jay 16:31

Back on like a civilized human being but our conversations go into crazy shit like this right, like sometimes okay, now would you be mad that he grew up and acted like you do now because you're I mean like literally, that's not that okay, it's not like he went out in the public stop touching the cord.

Tony 16:55

I didn't touch the cord, you did. I saw you. No, when it went out, I went to readjust it. Okay, go ahead. Uh, that, I guess that is the pot calling the kettle black, because I do do that to his mother often, exactly now his the kid, wait what?

Jay 17:13

it really anybody's mother except mine, okay as long as he's not doing in public, he's doing it in the confines of your home. I think there's not.

Responsibility and Behavior Expectations

Chris 17:23

I mean yeah, but you can be like, okay, do this every time, does no, no no, no, this is this is really random.

Jay 17:30

What he usually what he'll do to get a rise out of everyone in the in the house is run out with his underwear jacked up his ass, basically like he has a thong, and he'll just dance around with his butt hanging out.

Tony 17:42

He learns that that's a learned behavior. I don't do that. I'm sure you've done that. His grandpa does. Who's the other adult in the house?

Jay 17:51

His grandpa.

Tony 17:53

Yeah.

Jay 17:53

Trust me.

Tony 17:55

You really think Grandpa Tim's dancing?

Jay 17:57

anymore. No, he walks around with a thong up his ass, because when he's sitting down all day, that's what happens to your underwear.

Tony 18:04

It goes up your ass. It's disintegrate.

Chris 18:09

So what are you trying to say? That my kid does not like to be nude in the house, particularly. I definitely do not, but she has done something similar to that, where she'll like be like hey dad, and she'll run like you know.

Jay 18:25

Run around naked.

Chris 18:26

Yeah, and then run back upstairs like oh, I got you.

Jay 18:29

She's in your house. No one else is there.

Tony 18:36

I feel like that's fine if you're out in public, obviously I would say something, I wouldn't just let it go.

Chris 18:39

But you're exactly when that happens at the bathroom, at the walmart then you got a problem then you're gonna have to explain why your child does that to many different people but you're explaining it to me like that's a bad reason or not a bad, but like that's how boys act wild, that a girl won't.

Jay 18:55

But I would say, yeah, that's, that's not a good example unless that kid does that every time anyone comes in the house every fucking time all hopped up on mountain dew, all right. Well, let's give another example, tony.

Chris 19:06

Um, when the kids have a sleepover, okay, like the boys are louder, they stink more they, they like, make more ruckus, they're way more active. Yeah, I'm like I'm not arguing that, okay.

Jay 19:16

So like the boys are louder, they stink more, they, they like, make more ruckus, they're way more active yeah, I'm like, I'm not arguing that okay so when the boys have a sleepover, let me, let me, let me put this into context and then you tell me your example. When your daughter has a sleepover, my kids have a sleepover, my kids get I haven't had any kids sleep over at my house really no I guess she's only eight. So yeah, yeah, makes sense. Well then, let's just leave it out there. Let's just throw it out there anyway. I have kids that have sleepovers.

Jay 19:41

No I guess we did have one or two actually, so yeah, yeah, it's like my kids all of a sudden snorted two fucking big bags of Doritos and like fun dips.

Chris 19:58

Come at your fun dip.

Jay 20:00

My kids are 100% not allowed to have caffeine and they cannot have sugar. Well, they can have sugar, but they cannot have soda that has sugar. Fair enough, fair enough. I have kids that sleep over and all of a sudden they fucking flip a switch. It's like from hey Dad, you know I'm kind of bored. They get wild Playing video games and then all of a sudden like giggling, like little fucking girls Fucking, throwing shit around, and then you can tell them a hundred times to stop and they continue to do the same exact thing and you could threaten them. You're never having to sleep over again, you know. You're not going to let them, they know.

Chris 20:37

Do you ever turn off the internet router?

Jay 20:39

No, because I need it. I'm watching TV. That's how I get my TV. I got YouTube.

Chris 20:44

TV. Sacrifices need to be made when you want behavior correction.

Jay 20:50

I'll tell you what. I'm the first person to tell you I'm not a great example.

Chris 20:54

Every time you kids sleep over and you act up, I'm going to unplug the router and then I'm not going to let you call your moms to go home because you're bored and you're just going to sit on the couch and like I'll bring out checkers or something for you.

Tony 21:11

And then the next time they come over and you start getting loud, they'll stop. So there's a rule that when other kids come to my house that they can do whatever they want. They can make as big a mess as they want like the kid here.

Jay 21:20

Your kid has to clean it it's chase's responsibility, you're making him feel you're making him seem like he's a dick because he's gonna tell his friends stop making a mess because I gotta clean that shit up. Yeah, so that's not right. He knows that it's 100.

Tony 21:33

So that's not right. He knows that it's 100% his responsibility.

Jay 21:37

No, that's not right.

Tony 21:38

Listen to make sure that the things get put back away. I don't agree with that at all. I don't agree with that at all. So he makes the choice on the level of trash they trash the house, on whether or not he makes his friend or cousin or who's ever over Clean up after themselves. Help himself.

Jay 21:54

So basically you're saying I invite a homeless person over to my house. They fuck up everything shit on the floor, eat all my food and then I'm supposed to clean it up.

Chris 22:05

You invited them. Yeah, or make them clean up.

Jay 22:11

But still there's a child.

Tony 22:12

Who cleans up after your father-in-law? No one. That's your wife's guest. Is she the one walking around cleaning up after him?

Jay 22:22

oh, you got me there, but hey, I don't like your argument. No, seriously, though, I think that puts too much pressure on your, your child, and then it makes him look like an asshole because his friends come over and they're like every time I go over, so my kids supposed to have his friends over.

Tony 22:39

They trash my house. They leave and then I clean it up. Listen, no, I clean up with garbage bags. My kids know that.

Jay 22:46

Every time I go to Tony's house, tony or every time I go to Tony's dad or what the fuck's his name again Chase Chase's dad's house. Chase yells at me for even touching his toys, because I had to put it back immediately, otherwise he has to, that's between Chase and his friend. I don't that still like makes him look bad.

Tony 23:04

Chase can make the conscious choice to let everybody trash the house.

Jay 23:11

And then he spends his time cleaning it. Are you saying that Chase should be the one to tell his friend? If you make a mess, you got to clean it. Like a dad I don't have to say a word Like a dad.

Chris 23:19

Yeah, no, I don't like that. Your friend's going home at five? No, because here's what it is. Is that kid's not going to teach the other kid? Bro, in my house we clean up after ourselves. Fucking help me.

Jay 23:29

Okay, but Tony has to say that not Chase Not.

Tony 23:34

Chase, I said it once.

Chris 23:37

You got to raise a kid that's going to tell his friends to not smoke cigarettes.

Jay 23:41

Okay, that's true, but they're only eight. That's what that kid's doing To not run out of the bathroom and show his dick to everyone. So you're saying making a mess is an underlying achievement to doing something more like smoking cigarettes achievement to doing something more like smoking cigarettes.

Chris 23:55

Well, what it is is that it's, in this instance, chase showing by example to his kid how to fucking that you have to clean up after yourself.

Jay 24:05

Just because you're not on vacation at my house. We're just here because I got fucking good chicken tenders and a new Vindio. He shouldn't have to learn that from his friend's dad or son he doesn't have to from the dad.

Chris 24:15

He should learn that from his friend's dad or son.

Jay 24:16

He doesn't have to from the dad. He should learn that from his parents.

Chris 24:17

Well, that doesn't happen a lot.

Jay 24:18

Okay, so that's what he should learn that from, but here's what happens then. I like that.

Chris 24:21

Chase is like fuck that kid Jimmy. He never cleans up. I got to clean up after his bitch ass. I'm not going to be friends with Jimmy.

Tony 24:28

And then to me as a in my alley smoking cigarettes.

Chris 24:32

Good shit, my kid don't hang out with that kid because he didn't clean up after himself when he was fucking eight.

Jay 24:37

That was a good argument. I like that argument.

Chris 24:39

That's why you got to rule with the fucking iron fist you got to. It's not even ruling with an iron fist.

Tony 24:45

It's saying hey look, they're your toys, your friend's over. You're responsible for the mess I pay. I pay all the fucking bills. I prepare the meals, I make sure you have fucking cool clothes when you go to school and I'm sure your toys are your fucking responsibility. Well, yeah, at 11, that's when that shit starts kicking in.

Chris 25:05

Yeah, my kids starting. I'm sure that there are times where you're like all right, kids, I'll clean up your fucking video games and Dorito bowls, go play basketball. You got a half hour till Jimmy's mom gets here. I'm sure there's shit like that that comes down, but most of the time it's like yeah, you fucking cleaned it up.

Household Responsibilities and Parenting Choices

Jay 25:25

My kid cleans up after herself at my house. I definitely don't think Tony ever cleans up after his child.

Tony 25:27

I do not clean up after my kid. There are times when I do that. Look at him, but that's because I want to give you a fucking chance.

Jay 25:35

One of my tricks. That's why I call this kid chance. One of my what's his name again One of my parenting tricks. I'm just kidding, it's chase.

Tony 25:45

I know fruit flies are fucking pissing off.

Chris 25:47

So one of my tricks parent tips yeah, let's hear it, let's hear it.

Chris 25:51

Provide a perception of choice, prov, let's hear. Provide a perception of choice. Provide a perception of choice. Hey, kid, it's late. We normally go to bed at 7, 30, it's almost 8 and I think to myself I want to read to her and I want to do what she likes to do is called goofing for bed. So I say, hey, claire, which one do you want to do first? Do you want to read or goof? And then she picks, and then I do that, and then I'm like dang, we don't have time for the other one, because all along I was only going to do one of the two. But if you say we only get to do one read or goof around which do you want to do?

Jay 26:40

okay, I get that.

Chris 26:41

No, it's like why can't we do the other one? But if you perceive this choice of picking witches, no, I was kind of a bad example.

Tony 26:49

No, no, I get, I got that totally the perception of choice that's that's modern day trickery, if you don't want your kid to eat.

Jay 26:55

It's I mean yeah, modern, see what?

Tony 26:59

do you think we are fucking sorcerers?

Chris 27:02

I mean, it sounds like it absolutely, because then it makes you're not being a fucking asshole by not doing something you just ran out of time so I you picked the one you wanted.

Tony 27:12

I have people come clean my house every two weeks, that's probably a good choice.

Jay 27:17

That's bullshit.

Tony 27:17

It's like every three days so it's a west east south thing.

Jay 27:24

Now it's coming at me.

Tony 27:25

Every 14 days in rotation. They have to make sure all their shit is put away, no matter what. I don't hound these kids to clean up every fucking item at the end of every day, right.

Tony 27:40

But if I go upstairs and it starts looking even remotely out of control, everybody's stopping what they're doing, because it's not a joke. Dad cleans up with garbage bags and as soon as I tell them I'll go clean it up, they go no, don't, no. Then they start fucking screaming Sure. So when they have their friends over and they do two weeks of damage in two hours to their play area, it is nobody's responsibility but their own. It's their responsibility every day to keep their own shit in order. It's nobody else's. They don't get to make the mess and somebody cleans up after them. That's setting a bad example for your kid.

Jay 28:33

That's not preparing them for life. Okay, you have a younger child that is four, five, five, five. Do you treat him the same way? You do Exactly the same.

Tony 28:40

Okay, so obviously he doesn't have. Actually, I treat him better because I do make the 11 year old help the five-year-old clean up messes that he's made because obviously you don't, he doesn't have sleepovers and friends over. Really, I mean, maybe he's not, he's not allowed to have friends until he's a teenager.

Jay 29:01

Okay I don't need the. So if you treat him the same way without friends coming over, how does that teach him something when he sees his brother with friends come over? I'm trying to get.

Tony 29:18

No, the five-year-olds have friends come over, which is really awkward because the parents stay.

Chris 29:23

Yeah.

Tony 29:24

I never, liked that. So when the parents come over which is really awkward because the parents stay, yeah, I never liked that shit. So when the parents come over, you got to tell them to clean up. I always made those third locational visits. I don't know the parents well enough to be like hey, it's 11 o'clock on a Saturday. You want an old-fashioned Right? I mean you can, or if I should, leave a Bible out on the table.

Chris 29:42

I don't know where these other people are, if you guys make a fucking mess clean it up.

Tony 29:47

I always made Jay, I don't have to talk at my kids like that.

Jay 29:50

No, I'm talking like when the five-year-old's parents come over. This is what I'm talking about. If you leave a fork on the table, motherfucker, you better wash it off or put it in a dishwasher.

Tony 30:01

Yeah, well, somebody, if somebody else is, I don't know. I mean, I think it'd just be common sense. And sometimes my, my kids, decide that they're just going to clean up after the other kids because they didn't make that big of a mess. And sometimes, you know, the kids do to leave at five o'clock and 4 30 rolls around and they're like all right, man, let's clean up for a little bit everyone has their own strictness.

Jay 30:23

If that is a word, and I have I'm going to tell you this.

Tony 30:28

I know lots of other parents and I can guarantee you that I'm not even a strict parent man. You sound like a fucking no-wire hanger parent. No man, I know strict parents and they look at us like we're fucking Wild men yeah.

Chris 30:44

Why do you let your kid do?

Jay 30:45

that I feel like I'm way under your level. Oh, I guarantee it. Yeah, like if someone comes over and fucks something up, I'm like damn dude, don't do that again when you come over next time. I'll fix it, I'll make sure everything's okay.

Tony 31:01

Oh like, if the kids are playing around and they break something. I don't give a fuck about that, as long as it wasn't malicious.

Jay 31:07

Wait, you wouldn't blow.

Tony 31:08

No, not at all. Oh fucking no. If they break something playing, I could give two fucking shits, but that's an accident of playing, so that's not being irresponsible.

Jay 31:22

Let me put something in like let me get a little eye view. So there's the handle breaks off a door and then next to the door there's a little Nerf bullet gun or a Nerf bullet for a gun, no, not intentional. So you'd be like who the fuck left the Nerf bullet on the ground. That's okay. If you touched, you broke the handle off the door. I can't get into the basement for next. Whatever, who the fuck left that?

Tony 31:51

Nerf bullet. First off, a broken handle wouldn't keep me from getting into a door. No, I'm saying Because I'm a fucking adult man, you can't get in anymore.

Chris 31:59

No, I'm saying I'll never be able to poop again.

Tony 32:02

Well, this room's fucked.

Chris 32:04

That was fun. Now our house is only 845 square feet.

Tony 32:12

We go to sell it, all right. So there's been some alterations from the last assessment. The house lost 312 square feet Broken door handle.

Chris 32:24

What are? You going to do? Oh, yeah, right.

Jay 32:25

There's a closet with a broken door handle. What are you going to do? Oh yeah, right, there's a closet with a broken door handle as well.

Chris 32:29

Everyone's sleeping in the same bed. Who?

Tony 32:31

needs a closet in the hallway. My kids break shit all the time. They're kids Like you know. If they break a door handle because they pulled on it too hard, big fucking deal. I'm just saying If they broke the door handle and there's a hammer laying on the ground and it's in 11 pieces, then we got fucking problems, then you get, didn't you have different aspects of cleanliness, so cleanliness is more important than uh destruction or have you seen this guy's hair man that's true, this guy stayed tight.

Jay 33:03

That's a solid point high and tight, like I can, fucking, I can, I can do a, I can put a square on his head, I think what it is is that it'll be straight.

Chris 33:13

The kids just. They know how to clean up, so they just do it.

Tony 33:18

I don't think you're yelling I don't prevent them from being children. I prevent them from being fucking pieces of shit later in society well, if they're breaking door handles all the time, I mean that's pretty shitty and not fixing that that's a lesson for me to stop buying such low quality door handles shopping at menards again it's about look, not quality, man, you get a diving door handle.

Jay 33:45

I don't give a shit. It's put together with fucking wooden screws.

Tony 33:49

It still looks cool. Chris is still trying to find pieces for his door handle.

Chris 33:54

I actually do still need a door handle.

Jay 33:58

Alright, so this topic got way off being a boy dad or girl dad.

Chris 34:04

I think the thing is that you're outnumbered bro three kids oh, number two, adults. Yeah, okay, that's what you're talking about, and now three cats which apparently we learned about last week, and I don't remember yeah, well, you know but, and so you're outnumbered. That's the problem. You have three kids, two adults, that's. But I I never understood that I'm super not strict at all.

Jay 34:29

I I let so much go because I've been strict or I was growing up not being able to do so much. So, by the way, and anyway, let us go blah, blah. Yeah, see, that means like in my language.

Tony 34:44

So so you just decided. You just decided because you grew up in an overly strict household. Yeah, to be the exact opposite why?

Jay 34:54

why did I do that?

Tony 34:55

yes, exactly bandit yeah well, everybody wants better for their own children. But do you think being raised strict is bad? I?

Jay 35:03

don't think being strict is bad at all.

Tony 35:05

No, because I mean there are so you got, you got raised religious strict, which is a different kind of strict do you know how many more tickets you would have got if you went in a strict house?

Jay 35:17

now, I agree with you about being strict is something that has to be. Well, there's at least maintained at a certain level. A certain level, I mean it's not even about being strict is something that has to be at least maintained at a certain level.

Tony 35:27

A certain level, I mean, it's not even about being strict.

Jay 35:29

It's about having parameters for your that's what I said a certain level of strictness you gotta build up kids.

Chris 35:36

You gotta build the kids so that they return the fucking cart to the cart corral no, you're right. Yeah, that's the goal and they wait for others to get off before they get on.

Tony 35:45

Those are my two things. And I mean we, we totally that's it.

Chris 35:50

If they do that, they probably will do all the other things you need done so I totally referenced this earlier.

Tony 35:55

But very recently me and my 11 year old sat and watched from start to finish talladega nights, and really I mean ricky bobby cal there's a lot.

Chris 36:07

They're amazing in that movie.

Jay 36:09

They're amazing but the stars of the show are you gonna come to my wedding, our walker and texas ranger.

Tony 36:18

I mean they start out as being the world's worst kids and being supported the worst they are and then when a grandma takes them over, they turn into like productive members of society and it was just a testament to what you're talking about. Like your kids having no parameters to your kids having parameters. You have to give your kid some kind. Eventually dude, they have to go out into the real world and if they don't know how to fucking act, they're going to have a really fucking tough time If they never have to clean up after themselves if they don't have to take their plate to the sink when they're done eating dinner.

Jay 37:06

You can't tell a child how to act.

Chris 37:08

You can only, you can only give them that's like your only responsibility as a parent is to tell these fucking new bodies how to act as old bodies you can only give them the path of a path.

Jay 37:24

I'm not saying tell your child how to you give them a path to follow that path has to be uphill sometimes. Yeah.

Tony 37:31

It can't all be a fucking toboggan ride down a fucking hill.

Jay 37:35

Well, sometimes it can be. It can be, yeah, but uphill, yeah, certainly. I have uphill toboggan rides. I have downhill toboggan rides. I have downhill toboggan rides, I have more downhill fucking riding the.

Tony 37:50

I mean it sounds like your kid walking out shaking his dick. Your soccer team fucking the dirt. I mean, it sounds like you need to put some real parameters on these kids.

Jay 38:03

Wow, you just summed up my life in 10 seconds.

Tony 38:10

I mean, for fuck's sake, man, teach these kids how to ride a bike.

Jay 38:13

Seriously, though, and don't tell them great job losing out there. I do over-exaggerate about certain things, but sometimes sometimes you know like I don't really care that makes that I don't know. Well, you know this was top shelf stories about. It was about child dads with girls and boys, but now it turned into I don't know.

Chris 38:44

I think we're going to call this one Walker and Texas Ranger.

Jay 38:52

So thank you for tuning in. We'll see you next week. Have a good night.

Chris 38:56

Word, we'll be right back.